How does a guy (who is not good looking) get a girlfriend?
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Original post by Lord Samosa
You need self confidence, you say you have low confidence and it probably shows. Also being super nice is boring, don't be a prick but just be more laid back and have some banter (god I hate that word). Also you're 18, your luck will definitely change once you leave school.
Beard helps too (especially with Asian girls)
Beard helps too (especially with Asian girls)
You are super nice
Original post by BlindingLight
You are super nice
I just want others to feel happy xxx
Original post by FireFreezer77
Im really quiet and dont have too much confidence but im trying to overcome that.
Im nice to everyone (its rarely returned to me)
Thanks.
Im really quiet and dont have too much confidence but im trying to overcome that.
Im nice to everyone (its rarely returned to me)
Thanks.
There's your problem, you have to build up your confidence. Also your niceness is probably overlooked. Is your definition of nice "I'm a passive guy who lets others say what they want and I don't get in the way of anyone" or is it "I try my best to help people whenever I can even if it means sacrificing my time for theirs". I can guarantee you if it's the former, you're doing something wrong.
Spoiler
self-confidence and having a good self-esteem is key.
Also drop the "Mr. Nice Guy" act, there's a link between being a nice guy and being boring. The way i see it, the reason "pricks" get girls is cos they are interesting and fun. So have a good sense of humour, dress up well, be confident and your halfway there! the rest depends on the girl
Also drop the "Mr. Nice Guy" act, there's a link between being a nice guy and being boring. The way i see it, the reason "pricks" get girls is cos they are interesting and fun. So have a good sense of humour, dress up well, be confident and your halfway there! the rest depends on the girl
The fact that you made a thread about this is really cute
I agree with everyone else, you need to have more confidence and great banter
I agree with everyone else, you need to have more confidence and great banter
Original post by FireFreezer77
Im 18 and have never had a giel be even remotely interested in me!
It gets me down that everyone seems to have a girl under their arm yet no girl will go near me
Everytime i spoke to a girl ive had a crush on, i always seem to repel them. It hurts me that they will then go and choose a guy who isnt nice to them! Im not good looking but i try my best to look as good as i can. But it also seems that my personality isnt vey attractive.
Im really quiet and dont have too much confidence but im trying to overcome that.
Im nice to everyone (its rarely returned to me)
I guess i have to be an ******* towards them to get them to like me. Thats what it seems like. All the girls in my area let guys grope them all the time and they enjoy it!! But if i did that id be beaten up big time! I dont want to do that because i respect people!
What does a nice guy have to do???
Thanks.
It gets me down that everyone seems to have a girl under their arm yet no girl will go near me
Everytime i spoke to a girl ive had a crush on, i always seem to repel them. It hurts me that they will then go and choose a guy who isnt nice to them! Im not good looking but i try my best to look as good as i can. But it also seems that my personality isnt vey attractive.
Im really quiet and dont have too much confidence but im trying to overcome that.
Im nice to everyone (its rarely returned to me)
I guess i have to be an ******* towards them to get them to like me. Thats what it seems like. All the girls in my area let guys grope them all the time and they enjoy it!! But if i did that id be beaten up big time! I dont want to do that because i respect people!
What does a nice guy have to do???
Thanks.
I would argue looks don't have much to do with it.
<< See that. I wouldn't say I'm bad looking. Heck, most have said I'm quite attractive. Oh, by the way, I'm single.
Personality, confidence, self-esteem etc etc, you've probably heard it all before. Nothing wrong with being a genuinely good man so long as you ain't a pushover and bend over backwards for anyone. Just be yourself, be charming, enjoy your interests and most of all be yourself. Notice how I said be yourself twice.
Also, young girls tend to be a bit foolish, which is a shame but there's not a lot you can do. Either you get lucky and find a girl with her head screwed on straight, or you wait a while until they mature.
It wasn't until I was 18 that I had my first kiss, let alone girlfriend. You're young, there's still time, don't stress and you'll get there. I promise you that.
Original post by Tootles
Quick answer: you'll grow out of being ignored. Just shut up and put up and stop being a whiney little boy.
Not encouraging or helpful in the slightest. Your frustration over the frequency of this particular thread doesn't justify you being an arse to somebody.
Oh for **** sake! I just wanted some advice but instead everyone is making me feel like im the most horrible liar in the world!
Please stop!!!
Please stop!!!
Original post by FireFreezer77
I doubt it. I get called ugly which doesnt help my confidence.
I thought it was tbh. I managed to go and speak to my last crush in person for the first time. I had to to up to her and say hi. It was super hard for me but she was nice and it was a huge confidence booster. She ignored me the next week so it didnt end well.
Im trying to work on it and that has defo helped.
I do approach her as a friend first! I dont act creepy or anything. I pay attention to what shes saying, ask her questions on the things she likes and try to keep the convo going. I make eye contact with her and dont look at her in an inapproriate way.
Yeah i dont get why they enjoy it tbh. But as you said, theyre not girlfriend material.
Ive always respected people and would never force my girlfriend to do anything she doesnt want to (unlike many other guys).
Thanks
I thought it was tbh. I managed to go and speak to my last crush in person for the first time. I had to to up to her and say hi. It was super hard for me but she was nice and it was a huge confidence booster. She ignored me the next week so it didnt end well.
Im trying to work on it and that has defo helped.
I do approach her as a friend first! I dont act creepy or anything. I pay attention to what shes saying, ask her questions on the things she likes and try to keep the convo going. I make eye contact with her and dont look at her in an inapproriate way.
Yeah i dont get why they enjoy it tbh. But as you said, theyre not girlfriend material.
Ive always respected people and would never force my girlfriend to do anything she doesnt want to (unlike many other guys).
Thanks
Big up, even though it didnt end well, you made the first approach to her and I know its definitely hard haha.
Mind if I ask why do you think she ignored ya?
It really depends on the girl, but most/nearly all like that confident aspect. Yes I know, you've heard it so many times. A dude whos confident - cracks jokes, makes peoples laugh, a person who isn't nervous/ ashamed of who they are/acting so on. Its the hard part getting to that bit, it comes with experience and putting yourself out there.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by FireFreezer77
Im 18 and have never had a giel be even remotely interested in me!
It gets me down that everyone seems to have a girl under their arm yet no girl will go near me
Everytime i spoke to a girl ive had a crush on, i always seem to repel them. It hurts me that they will then go and choose a guy who isnt nice to them! Im not good looking but i try my best to look as good as i can. But it also seems that my personality isnt vey attractive.
Im really quiet and dont have too much confidence but im trying to overcome that.
Im nice to everyone (its rarely returned to me)
I guess i have to be an ******* towards them to get them to like me. Thats what it seems like. All the girls in my area let guys grope them all the time and they enjoy it!! But if i did that id be beaten up big time! I dont want to do that because i respect people!
What does a nice guy have to do???
Thanks.
It gets me down that everyone seems to have a girl under their arm yet no girl will go near me
Everytime i spoke to a girl ive had a crush on, i always seem to repel them. It hurts me that they will then go and choose a guy who isnt nice to them! Im not good looking but i try my best to look as good as i can. But it also seems that my personality isnt vey attractive.
Im really quiet and dont have too much confidence but im trying to overcome that.
Im nice to everyone (its rarely returned to me)
I guess i have to be an ******* towards them to get them to like me. Thats what it seems like. All the girls in my area let guys grope them all the time and they enjoy it!! But if i did that id be beaten up big time! I dont want to do that because i respect people!
What does a nice guy have to do???
Thanks.
Honestly a lot of it comes down to how you present yourself. I've been attracted to a few guys which I wouldn't consider particularly 'good looking', but they had a real attractive personality. Personally I think if a guy is confident, well dressed, polite, respectful, and maybe a bit cocky/badass then he has this attractive 'air' around him.
Original post by ironingplaylist
Big up, even though it didnt end well, you made the first approach to her and I know its definitely hard haha.
Mind if I ask why do you think she ignored ya?
Mind if I ask why do you think she ignored ya?
If im totally honest, i chickened out the previous week (i only see her once a week) and i regretted it for the rest of the week. I was then determined to not do it again and to just go for it, so i did!
Its super hard! But i now know i can do it so i feel more confident in myself as i actually did it!
Tbh i have no idea. I was really confused by it. She acted all stroppy around me and wouldnt talk to me. So i have no idea at all.
I dont want to be with someone if theyre gonna act like that!
Original post by FireFreezer77
If im totally honest, i chickened out the previous week (i only see her once a week) and i regretted it for the rest of the week. I was then determined to not do it again and to just go for it, so i did!
Its super hard! But i now know i can do it so i feel more confident in myself as i actually did it!
Tbh i have no idea. I was really confused by it. She acted all stroppy around me and wouldnt talk to me. So i have no idea at all.
I dont want to be with someone if theyre gonna act like that!
Its super hard! But i now know i can do it so i feel more confident in myself as i actually did it!
Tbh i have no idea. I was really confused by it. She acted all stroppy around me and wouldnt talk to me. So i have no idea at all.
I dont want to be with someone if theyre gonna act like that!
thats true, take this as experience so you can improve the next time. Good luck!
Original post by FireFreezer77
Im 18 and have never had a giel be even remotely interested in me!
It gets me down that everyone seems to have a girl under their arm yet no girl will go near me
Everytime i spoke to a girl ive had a crush on, i always seem to repel them. It hurts me that they will then go and choose a guy who isnt nice to them! Im not good looking but i try my best to look as good as i can. But it also seems that my personality isnt vey attractive.
Im really quiet and dont have too much confidence but im trying to overcome that.
Im nice to everyone (its rarely returned to me)
I guess i have to be an ******* towards them to get them to like me. Thats what it seems like. All the girls in my area let guys grope them all the time and they enjoy it!! But if i did that id be beaten up big time! I dont want to do that because i respect people!
What does a nice guy have to do???
Thanks.
It gets me down that everyone seems to have a girl under their arm yet no girl will go near me
Everytime i spoke to a girl ive had a crush on, i always seem to repel them. It hurts me that they will then go and choose a guy who isnt nice to them! Im not good looking but i try my best to look as good as i can. But it also seems that my personality isnt vey attractive.
Im really quiet and dont have too much confidence but im trying to overcome that.
Im nice to everyone (its rarely returned to me)
I guess i have to be an ******* towards them to get them to like me. Thats what it seems like. All the girls in my area let guys grope them all the time and they enjoy it!! But if i did that id be beaten up big time! I dont want to do that because i respect people!
What does a nice guy have to do???
Thanks.
I don't believe I am particularly attractive, maybe not ugly but I got a girlfriend probably though shared interests, personality and I guess people have said I have a good sense of style and such.
Original post by saladays
It's funny how "nice guys" are often not as nice as they proclaim to be... You don't sound nasty, but you don't sound very pleasant; saying women only go for "mean guys", whining, having no idea about your flaws and being certain you're totally nice? Sounds like a red flag.
First of all, stop calling yourself a nice guy. Everyone hates that - just Google it. Second, clean up your appearance. I'm not suggesting you're unattractive, but just making yourself presentable (a clean haircut, showering once/twice a day, dressing nice, good skin etc) can go a long way. So long as you don't look like a greasy slob it shouldn't be an issue. What you've got to be is confident. Confidence is key. If you're so "nice", why does no one seem to like you? Are you sure you're nice?
Look at yourself honestly. Ask for opinions. Think about your flaws. Think about the way you communicate. Think about how you present yourself. Think about what your goal is. Dont limit it to finding a girl to go out with. Self improvement is key and will help you in many more fields. And don't let yourself fall into this negative way of thinking about women, because it's really not making you attractive.
First of all, stop calling yourself a nice guy. Everyone hates that - just Google it. Second, clean up your appearance. I'm not suggesting you're unattractive, but just making yourself presentable (a clean haircut, showering once/twice a day, dressing nice, good skin etc) can go a long way. So long as you don't look like a greasy slob it shouldn't be an issue. What you've got to be is confident. Confidence is key. If you're so "nice", why does no one seem to like you? Are you sure you're nice?
Look at yourself honestly. Ask for opinions. Think about your flaws. Think about the way you communicate. Think about how you present yourself. Think about what your goal is. Dont limit it to finding a girl to go out with. Self improvement is key and will help you in many more fields. And don't let yourself fall into this negative way of thinking about women, because it's really not making you attractive.
You got it spot on, kinda harsh but can't agree more. Pretty much the best advice you can receive OP.
Original post by ironingplaylist
thats true, take this as experience so you can improve the next time. Good luck!
Will do!
Thanks!
Original post by shuu00
Honestly a lot of it comes down to how you present yourself. I've been attracted to a few guys which I wouldn't consider particularly 'good looking', but they had a real attractive personality. Personally I think if a guy is confident, well dressed, polite, respectful, and maybe a bit cocky/badass then he has this attractive 'air' around him.
No one wants to get to know me enough to see my personality though. That's another problem.
I've spoken to some people on here and we've gotten on really well!
I admit my confidence is lacking but I'm working on that (it's improved a lot over the last two months).
I do try to be all of those things you mentioned. But no ones interested in getting to know me because I'm not good looking and they can't be seen hanging around with a guy who isn't seriously attractive!
Original post by Lord Samosa
You need self confidence, you say you have low confidence and it probably shows. Also being super nice is boring, don't be a prick but just be more laid back and have some banter (god I hate that word). Also you're 18, your luck will definitely change once you leave school.
Beard helps too (especially with Asian girls)
Beard helps too (especially with Asian girls)
Thanks for not being an ass like everyone else!
I think it does. I was super nervous when I approached my crush around 2 months ago. It was the first time I'd done anything like that.
I agree super nice is boring. It's just that no one will ever speak to me because I'm not good looking (I'm being bullied partially because of that).
I'm not a fan of banter tbh. That's how the bullying started at college 'as banter' but it got a whole load more extreme!
I sure hope so!
Original post by FireFreezer77
No one wants to get to know me enough to see my personality though. That's another problem.
I've spoken to some people on here and we've gotten on really well!
I admit my confidence is lacking but I'm working on that (it's improved a lot over the last two months).
I do try to be all of those things you mentioned. But no ones interested in getting to know me because I'm not good looking and they can't be seen hanging around with a guy who isn't seriously attractive!
I've spoken to some people on here and we've gotten on really well!
I admit my confidence is lacking but I'm working on that (it's improved a lot over the last two months).
I do try to be all of those things you mentioned. But no ones interested in getting to know me because I'm not good looking and they can't be seen hanging around with a guy who isn't seriously attractive!
Can you not see most of your replies stem back to this. This is something that you have told yourself! "can't be seen hanging around with a guy who isn't seriously attractive", that's so ridiculous man! It seems to me that you're feeling a bit sorry for yourself.
You said you're shy and not confident, you know it's really hard to approach people like that. I would know because I was just like that. You also mentioned that you don't like being confident because people think it's unusual. Well initially of course it is, I went through the same thing! But as soon as you get more comfortable with it and not care anymore then people will get used to it and you'll transform yourself. Just be more approachable and confident and people will be interested in knowing you.
This may sound a bit harsh but instead of feeling sorry for yourself just work on your character and confidence and you'll be doing much better. And yes, it does take time so don't give up so easily. Also, don't blame women for "not wanting to get to know you because of looks" because, like I said, it comes down to coming across as a shy person with low self-esteem; it is very hard to approach a shy person in comparison to an outgoing and confident person.
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