Dealing with a sociopathic parent who is getting support from his family
My entire life I have lived under the shadow of a family that I struggle to describe as anything other than feudal. The only thing that has protected me Is that my mum has stood up to it for my entire life at least.They do all kinds of weird things. They have an actual head of the family who coordinates family efforts and acts in an autocratic way (my great uncle), and he has exiled people from the family before (his wife, stopped her seeing her children). They also have a picture of the queen over the table in his house (they often eat as a family as this is mandated to all bar maybe my dad), they even have a goddam coat of arms. Marriages are really weird too, because while they aren't organised as such but unless the head of the family approves they don't happen. A lot of them are also reasonably high ranking freemasons. It's almost like those conservative Pakistani families without the honour killings.Basically, my mum has resisted this since she became aware of this. She didn't name me according to the convention that the family are supposed to a user (AJG) and opposed my father, to unpleasant consequences. She is routinely psychologically abused, and it starting to get to a point where she thinks things would go better for me and my brother if she was dead. Occasionally, he will beat her too, the last time was in September, but the screaming woke me up and I had to step in. I am lucky I haven't had to fist fight him yet since It has come close on maybe half a dozen occasions. My mum is at her wits end, she keeps saying that she feels like nothing and will never marry again, but she keeps saying that she doesn't want to die alone. What's crushing her just as much though is that she is suffering from a terminal illness, and she recently received her death dates (they are more than a decade away, but still) My dad doesn't care and baits her with a transplant. She has been living like a pauper while my dad earns a lot of money and goes to lavish parties with work colleges.We have our suspicions that my dad is a sociopath, and we know he is very bipolar. I have been through counselling and the counsellor stated in the first session he was undoubtedly a sociopath. He blames us for all problems, we are six figures in debt simply because He can't be bothered to pay for things without credit cards and is late on taxes he can easily pay. He has threatened to kick me out over a minor disagreement and has threatened to have my mum killed by a hitman. He probably didn't mean it, but It just goes to show how screwed he is mentally. What gets me is that his side of the family back him strongly in his insanity, claiming that my mother has brainwashed me and my brother in spite of having seen it multiple times. This is probably since he is likely a de facto "heir apparent" or some crazy stuff.My brother is luckily out of the way most of the time, but It doesn't stop him feeling it. I think it is safe to say he is depressed (although puberty). He has started to self-harm a little, and I try to get through to him but he just pushes me away. He has around 70% school attendance, which is concerning, but luckily he is intelligent enough to get good grades regardless. I went through it that as well at his age, although the main difference is that I got higher grades but had fewer friends (since I was very aggressive).As for me, I have been wielding all the influence I have to get my mum and brother out. Since I am imposing physically, my dad has stopped being so violent when I am in the house. Since the last time, though, I struggle to sleep and I am often up at 3am listening to him drink on weekdays and weekends regardless. I am getting to a point where I am struggling to read emotions well. I can't remember two years of my life (apparently when the abuse was most intense), but now I am not really abused since my dad knows if he tries any stupid **** I will fight him. I feel like I am the only thing standing between him and my mother, and once had to threaten him with a chair to get him to stop. He could probably still win, but I could still hurt him enough to put him in an ambulance too. He, again, mostly psychologically abused me, although he did occasionally hit me ( I have photos somewhere, and I may upload them although I am kinda reluctant since I feel like I am making a mountain out of a molehill). I am not depressed, though since I feel like a resolution is on the horizon.As for what has already been done. I have told my friends about much of it, and most of them, especially this one girl in our group, have been really nice about it. She has told me she will always be there for me, and I really like her for it, although she is a girl in a group of guys. I have also been seeing a counsellor as I mentioned, and he has been a great help for me. As for the rest of my family, my mum's terminal illness has a legal element, so her legal team know and offered her a restraining order against him. The police have been called twice too, although he has never spent a night in a cell like he probably should. The first time was when he flipped a car during an argument, the second was when he threatened to have my mum killed. My brother has been offered counselling but he has turned down (I felt the same at his age). Other things have been done that I don't know about, but still.What had I ought to do? I am trying to get them to divorce so much for my mum's wellbeing, but I have no power. The family have a lot of power so they could potentially jeopardise a lot. Sorry if this is ranty, but I felt like I needed to put it out there. I am not worried about myself, it's more my brother and mum who I am worried about. Any questions just ask.tl;dr: My Father and his side of the family act In a really weird, dynastic way. The abuse coming from them is making our lives hell and has made it really difficult to judge feelings.
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****, sorry for bad formatting, better version:
My entire life I have lived under the shadow of a family that I struggle to describe as anything other than feudal. The only thing that has protected me Is that my mum has stood up to it for my entire life at least.They do all kinds of weird things. They have an actual head of the family who coordinates family efforts and acts in an autocratic way (my great uncle), and he has exiled people from the family before (his wife, stopped her seeing her children). They also have a picture of the queen over the table in his house (they often eat as a family as this is mandated to all bar maybe my dad), they even have a goddam coat of arms. Marriages are really weird too, because while they aren't organised as such but unless the head of the family approves they don't happen. A lot of them are also reasonably high ranking freemasons. It's almost like those conservative Pakistani families without the honour killings.Basically, my mum has resisted this since she became aware of this. She didn't name me according to the convention that the family are supposed to a user (AJG) and opposed my father, to unpleasant consequences. She is routinely psychologically abused, and it starting to get to a point where she thinks things would go better for me and my brother if she was dead. Occasionally, he will beat her too, the last time was in September, but the screaming woke me up and I had to step in. I am lucky I haven't had to fist fight him yet since It has come close on maybe half a dozen occasions. My mum is at her wits end, she keeps saying that she feels like nothing and will never marry again, but she keeps saying that she doesn't want to die alone. What's crushing her just as much though is that she is suffering from a terminal illness, and she recently received her death dates (they are more than a decade away, but still) My dad doesn't care and baits her with a transplant. She has been living like a pauper while my dad earns a lot of money and goes to lavish parties with work colleges.We have our suspicions that my dad is a sociopath, and we know he is very bipolar. I have been through counselling and the counsellor stated in the first session he was undoubtedly a sociopath. He blames us for all problems, we are six figures in debt simply because He can't be bothered to pay for things without credit cards and is late on taxes he can easily pay. He has threatened to kick me out over a minor disagreement and has threatened to have my mum killed by a hitman. He probably didn't mean it, but It just goes to show how screwed he is mentally. What gets me is that his side of the family back him strongly in his insanity, claiming that my mother has brainwashed me and my brother in spite of having seen it multiple times. This is probably since he is likely a de facto "heir apparent" or some crazy stuff.My brother is luckily out of the way most of the time, but It doesn't stop him feeling it. I think it is safe to say he is depressed (although puberty). He has started to self-harm a little, and I try to get through to him but he just pushes me away. He has around 70% school attendance, which is concerning, but luckily he is intelligent enough to get good grades regardless. I went through it that as well at his age, although the main difference is that I got higher grades but had fewer friends (since I was very aggressive).As for me, I have been wielding all the influence I have to get my mum and brother out. Since I am imposing physically, my dad has stopped being so violent when I am in the house. Since the last time, though, I struggle to sleep and I am often up at 3am listening to him drink on weekdays and weekends regardless. I am getting to a point where I am struggling to read emotions well. I can't remember two years of my life (apparently when the abuse was most intense), but now I am not really abused since my dad knows if he tries any stupid **** I will fight him. I feel like I am the only thing standing between him and my mother, and once had to threaten him with a chair to get him to stop. He could probably still win, but I could still hurt him enough to put him in an ambulance too. He, again, mostly psychologically abused me, although he did occasionally hit me ( I have photos somewhere, and I may upload them although I am kinda reluctant since I feel like I am making a mountain out of a molehill). I am not depressed, though since I feel like a resolution is on the horizon.As for what has already been done. I have told my friends about much of it, and most of them, especially this one girl in our group, have been really nice about it. She has told me she will always be there for me, and I really like her for it, although she is a girl in a group of guys. I have also been seeing a counsellor as I mentioned, and he has been a great help for me. As for the rest of my family, my mum's terminal illness has a legal element, so her legal team know and offered her a restraining order against him. The police have been called twice too, although he has never spent a night in a cell like he probably should. The first time was when he flipped a car during an argument, the second was when he threatened to have my mum killed. My brother has been offered counselling but he has turned down (I felt the same at his age). Other things have been done that I don't know about, but still.What had I ought to do? I am trying to get them to divorce so much for my mum's wellbeing, but I have no power. The family have a lot of power so they could potentially jeopardise a lot. Sorry if this is ranty, but I felt like I needed to put it out there. I am not worried about myself, it's more my brother and mum who I am worried about. Any questions just ask.tl;dr: My Father and his side of the family act In a really weird, dynastic way. The abuse coming from them is making our lives hell and has made it really difficult to judge feelings.
My entire life I have lived under the shadow of a family that I struggle to describe as anything other than feudal. The only thing that has protected me Is that my mum has stood up to it for my entire life at least.They do all kinds of weird things. They have an actual head of the family who coordinates family efforts and acts in an autocratic way (my great uncle), and he has exiled people from the family before (his wife, stopped her seeing her children). They also have a picture of the queen over the table in his house (they often eat as a family as this is mandated to all bar maybe my dad), they even have a goddam coat of arms. Marriages are really weird too, because while they aren't organised as such but unless the head of the family approves they don't happen. A lot of them are also reasonably high ranking freemasons. It's almost like those conservative Pakistani families without the honour killings.Basically, my mum has resisted this since she became aware of this. She didn't name me according to the convention that the family are supposed to a user (AJG) and opposed my father, to unpleasant consequences. She is routinely psychologically abused, and it starting to get to a point where she thinks things would go better for me and my brother if she was dead. Occasionally, he will beat her too, the last time was in September, but the screaming woke me up and I had to step in. I am lucky I haven't had to fist fight him yet since It has come close on maybe half a dozen occasions. My mum is at her wits end, she keeps saying that she feels like nothing and will never marry again, but she keeps saying that she doesn't want to die alone. What's crushing her just as much though is that she is suffering from a terminal illness, and she recently received her death dates (they are more than a decade away, but still) My dad doesn't care and baits her with a transplant. She has been living like a pauper while my dad earns a lot of money and goes to lavish parties with work colleges.We have our suspicions that my dad is a sociopath, and we know he is very bipolar. I have been through counselling and the counsellor stated in the first session he was undoubtedly a sociopath. He blames us for all problems, we are six figures in debt simply because He can't be bothered to pay for things without credit cards and is late on taxes he can easily pay. He has threatened to kick me out over a minor disagreement and has threatened to have my mum killed by a hitman. He probably didn't mean it, but It just goes to show how screwed he is mentally. What gets me is that his side of the family back him strongly in his insanity, claiming that my mother has brainwashed me and my brother in spite of having seen it multiple times. This is probably since he is likely a de facto "heir apparent" or some crazy stuff.My brother is luckily out of the way most of the time, but It doesn't stop him feeling it. I think it is safe to say he is depressed (although puberty). He has started to self-harm a little, and I try to get through to him but he just pushes me away. He has around 70% school attendance, which is concerning, but luckily he is intelligent enough to get good grades regardless. I went through it that as well at his age, although the main difference is that I got higher grades but had fewer friends (since I was very aggressive).As for me, I have been wielding all the influence I have to get my mum and brother out. Since I am imposing physically, my dad has stopped being so violent when I am in the house. Since the last time, though, I struggle to sleep and I am often up at 3am listening to him drink on weekdays and weekends regardless. I am getting to a point where I am struggling to read emotions well. I can't remember two years of my life (apparently when the abuse was most intense), but now I am not really abused since my dad knows if he tries any stupid **** I will fight him. I feel like I am the only thing standing between him and my mother, and once had to threaten him with a chair to get him to stop. He could probably still win, but I could still hurt him enough to put him in an ambulance too. He, again, mostly psychologically abused me, although he did occasionally hit me ( I have photos somewhere, and I may upload them although I am kinda reluctant since I feel like I am making a mountain out of a molehill). I am not depressed, though since I feel like a resolution is on the horizon.As for what has already been done. I have told my friends about much of it, and most of them, especially this one girl in our group, have been really nice about it. She has told me she will always be there for me, and I really like her for it, although she is a girl in a group of guys. I have also been seeing a counsellor as I mentioned, and he has been a great help for me. As for the rest of my family, my mum's terminal illness has a legal element, so her legal team know and offered her a restraining order against him. The police have been called twice too, although he has never spent a night in a cell like he probably should. The first time was when he flipped a car during an argument, the second was when he threatened to have my mum killed. My brother has been offered counselling but he has turned down (I felt the same at his age). Other things have been done that I don't know about, but still.What had I ought to do? I am trying to get them to divorce so much for my mum's wellbeing, but I have no power. The family have a lot of power so they could potentially jeopardise a lot. Sorry if this is ranty, but I felt like I needed to put it out there. I am not worried about myself, it's more my brother and mum who I am worried about. Any questions just ask.tl;dr: My Father and his side of the family act In a really weird, dynastic way. The abuse coming from them is making our lives hell and has made it really difficult to judge feelings.
Never mind, student room seems to hate paragraphs
Please, just anything. I know that most people have no concept of what to do with this, I just want to know somebody has read what I have written
I've read it all and dw about paragraphs.
I'm sorry that you've been through all this + especially your mum. It's v upsetting that you have no control whatsoever. Such vile people do exist on earth unfortunately, you're not alone. You've showed that you have some sort of affect on your father. It takes a brave person to do that. I can't stand anyone mentally abusing my mother so I suggest you keep fighting on. Your mum would be way better on her own with you guys as a family. Your father clearly does not care and is too westernised. Regarding your fathers side of the family, you get that a lot with Asian families. Their opinions do not matter and should hold no value. Please have a conversation with your mother from the bottom of your heart and talk to her like a daughter would. She is definitely having a hard time. Speak to your mum about getting a divorce please. If she agrees then do go ahead and get all the support from other family members who would agree to it. Regarding your brother I know it may be hard for him to express his feelings but get him to find a hobby or something he likes (video games, gym etc) He should seek help and talk to a counsellor if he is self harming at a young age.
Feel free to PM me, I'm all ears.
I'm sorry that you've been through all this + especially your mum. It's v upsetting that you have no control whatsoever. Such vile people do exist on earth unfortunately, you're not alone. You've showed that you have some sort of affect on your father. It takes a brave person to do that. I can't stand anyone mentally abusing my mother so I suggest you keep fighting on. Your mum would be way better on her own with you guys as a family. Your father clearly does not care and is too westernised. Regarding your fathers side of the family, you get that a lot with Asian families. Their opinions do not matter and should hold no value. Please have a conversation with your mother from the bottom of your heart and talk to her like a daughter would. She is definitely having a hard time. Speak to your mum about getting a divorce please. If she agrees then do go ahead and get all the support from other family members who would agree to it. Regarding your brother I know it may be hard for him to express his feelings but get him to find a hobby or something he likes (video games, gym etc) He should seek help and talk to a counsellor if he is self harming at a young age.
Feel free to PM me, I'm all ears.
Original post by Leukocyte
I've read it all and dw about paragraphs.
I'm sorry that you've been through all this + especially your mum. It's v upsetting that you have no control whatsoever. Such vile people do exist on earth unfortunately, you're not alone. You've showed that you have some sort of affect on your father. It takes a brave person to do that. I can't stand anyone mentally abusing my mother so I suggest you keep fighting on. Your mum would be way better on her own with you guys as a family. Your father clearly does not care and is too westernised. Regarding your fathers side of the family, you get that a lot with Asian families. Their opinions do not matter and should hold no value. Please have a conversation with your mother from the bottom of your heart and talk to her like a daughter would. She is definitely having a hard time. Speak to your mum about getting a divorce please. If she agrees then do go ahead and get all the support from other family members who would agree to it. Regarding your brother I know it may be hard for him to express his feelings but get him to find a hobby or something he likes (video games, gym etc) He should seek help and talk to a counsellor if he is self harming at a young age.
Feel free to PM me, I'm all ears.
I'm sorry that you've been through all this + especially your mum. It's v upsetting that you have no control whatsoever. Such vile people do exist on earth unfortunately, you're not alone. You've showed that you have some sort of affect on your father. It takes a brave person to do that. I can't stand anyone mentally abusing my mother so I suggest you keep fighting on. Your mum would be way better on her own with you guys as a family. Your father clearly does not care and is too westernised. Regarding your fathers side of the family, you get that a lot with Asian families. Their opinions do not matter and should hold no value. Please have a conversation with your mother from the bottom of your heart and talk to her like a daughter would. She is definitely having a hard time. Speak to your mum about getting a divorce please. If she agrees then do go ahead and get all the support from other family members who would agree to it. Regarding your brother I know it may be hard for him to express his feelings but get him to find a hobby or something he likes (video games, gym etc) He should seek help and talk to a counsellor if he is self harming at a young age.
Feel free to PM me, I'm all ears.
We are white British, It is very rare in our ethnicity. .
Original post by Anonymous
We are white British, It is very rare in our ethnicity. .
Could you be more clear? You mentioned Pakistan in your OP.
Original post by Leukocyte
Could you be more clear? You mentioned Pakistan in your OP.
I used it as a comparison as to what It is like. These people are as ethnically british as they come. The only bit of foreign blood in there was early 19th century that I am aware of. They place a lot of interest in that kind of thing too.
Original post by 999tigger
Youd get more readers if you sorted out paragraphs.
Like I said, I can't I tried once
Original post by Anonymous
I used it as a comparison as to what It is like. These people are as ethnically british as they come. The only bit of foreign blood in there was early 19th century that I am aware of. They place a lot of interest in that kind of thing too.
Well all I can say is read my first post again. Making such comparisons doesn't look good either.
Original post by Anonymous
Like I said, I can't I tried once
I'm with 999 do the break BB code. Google it if I didn't put it right
It is hard since you depend on your dad financially, what other ways do you have to help support yourself, brother and mother?
I would suggest you go no contact with your dad and his family as soon as you can.
I would suggest you go no contact with your dad and his family as soon as you can.
My entire life I have lived under the shadow of a family that I struggle to describe as anything other than feudal. The only thing that has protected me Is that my mum has stood up to it for my entire life at least.They do all kinds of weird things. They have an actual head of the family who coordinates family efforts and acts in an autocratic way (my great uncle), and he has exiled people from the family before (his wife, stopped her seeing her children). They also have a picture of the queen over the table in his house (they often eat as a family as this is mandated to all bar maybe my dad), they even have a goddam coat of arms. Marriages are really weird too, because while they aren't organised as such but unless the head of the family approves they don't happen. A lot of them are also reasonably high ranking freemasons. It's almost like those conservative Pakistani families without the honour killings.
Basically, my mum has resisted this since she became aware of this. She didn't name me according to the convention that the family are supposed to a user (AJG) and opposed my father, to unpleasant consequences. She is routinely psychologically abused, and it starting to get to a point where she thinks things would go better for me and my brother if she was dead. Occasionally, he will beat her too, the last time was in September, but the screaming woke me up and I had to step in. I am lucky I haven't had to fist fight him yet since It has come close on maybe half a dozen occasions.
My mum is at her wits end, she keeps saying that she feels like nothing and will never marry again, but she keeps saying that she doesn't want to die alone. What's crushing her just as much though is that she is suffering from a terminal illness, and she recently received her death dates (they are more than a decade away, but still) My dad doesn't care and baits her with a transplant. She has been living like a pauper while my dad earns a lot of money and goes to lavish parties with work colleges.We have our suspicions that my dad is a sociopath, and we know he is very bipolar. I have been through counselling and the counsellor stated in the first session he was undoubtedly a sociopath. He blames us for all problems, we are six figures in debt simply because He can't be bothered to pay for things without credit cards and is late on taxes he can easily pay. He has threatened to kick me out over a minor disagreement and has threatened to have my mum killed by a hitman. He probably didn't mean it, but It just goes to show how screwed he is mentally.
What gets me is that his side of the family back him strongly in his insanity, claiming that my mother has brainwashed me and my brother in spite of having seen it multiple times. This is probably since he is likely a de facto "heir apparent" or some crazy stuff.My brother is luckily out of the way most of the time, but It doesn't stop him feeling it. I think it is safe to say he is depressed (although puberty). He has started to self-harm a little, and I try to get through to him but he just pushes me away. He has around 70% school attendance, which is concerning, but luckily he is intelligent enough to get good grades regardless. I went through it that as well at his age, although the main difference is that I got higher grades but had fewer friends (since I was very aggressive).
As for me, I have been wielding all the influence I have to get my mum and brother out. Since I am imposing physically, my dad has stopped being so violent when I am in the house. Since the last time, though, I struggle to sleep and I am often up at 3am listening to him drink on weekdays and weekends regardless. I am getting to a point where I am struggling to read emotions well. I can't remember two years of my life (apparently when the abuse was most intense), but now I am not really abused since my dad knows if he tries any stupid **** I will fight him. I feel like I am the only thing standing between him and my mother, and once had to threaten him with a chair to get him to stop. He could probably still win, but I could still hurt him enough to put him in an ambulance too. He, again, mostly psychologically abused me, although he did occasionally hit me ( I have photos somewhere, and I may upload them although I am kinda reluctant since I feel like I am making a mountain out of a molehill). I am not depressed, though since I feel like a resolution is on the horizon.
As for what has already been done. I have told my friends about much of it, and most of them, especially this one girl in our group, have been really nice about it. She has told me she will always be there for me, and I really like her for it, although she is a girl in a group of guys. I have also been seeing a counsellor as I mentioned, and he has been a great help for me. As for the rest of my family, my mum's terminal illness has a legal element, so her legal team know and offered her a restraining order against him. The police have been called twice too, although he has never spent a night in a cell like he probably should. The first time was when he flipped a car during an argument, the second was when he threatened to have my mum killed. My brother has been offered counselling but he has turned down (I felt the same at his age). Other things have been done that I don't know about, but still.<br>What had I ought to do? I am trying to get them to divorce so much for my mum's wellbeing, but I have no power. The family have a lot of power so they could potentially jeopardise a lot. Sorry if this is ranty, but I felt like I needed to put it out there. I am not worried about myself, it's more my brother and mum who I am worried about. Any questions just ask.
tl;dr: My Father and his side of the family act In a really weird, dynastic way. The abuse coming from them is making our lives hell and has made it really difficult to judge feelings.
RIGHT, now it decides it wants to work. At least in preview
Basically, my mum has resisted this since she became aware of this. She didn't name me according to the convention that the family are supposed to a user (AJG) and opposed my father, to unpleasant consequences. She is routinely psychologically abused, and it starting to get to a point where she thinks things would go better for me and my brother if she was dead. Occasionally, he will beat her too, the last time was in September, but the screaming woke me up and I had to step in. I am lucky I haven't had to fist fight him yet since It has come close on maybe half a dozen occasions.
My mum is at her wits end, she keeps saying that she feels like nothing and will never marry again, but she keeps saying that she doesn't want to die alone. What's crushing her just as much though is that she is suffering from a terminal illness, and she recently received her death dates (they are more than a decade away, but still) My dad doesn't care and baits her with a transplant. She has been living like a pauper while my dad earns a lot of money and goes to lavish parties with work colleges.We have our suspicions that my dad is a sociopath, and we know he is very bipolar. I have been through counselling and the counsellor stated in the first session he was undoubtedly a sociopath. He blames us for all problems, we are six figures in debt simply because He can't be bothered to pay for things without credit cards and is late on taxes he can easily pay. He has threatened to kick me out over a minor disagreement and has threatened to have my mum killed by a hitman. He probably didn't mean it, but It just goes to show how screwed he is mentally.
What gets me is that his side of the family back him strongly in his insanity, claiming that my mother has brainwashed me and my brother in spite of having seen it multiple times. This is probably since he is likely a de facto "heir apparent" or some crazy stuff.My brother is luckily out of the way most of the time, but It doesn't stop him feeling it. I think it is safe to say he is depressed (although puberty). He has started to self-harm a little, and I try to get through to him but he just pushes me away. He has around 70% school attendance, which is concerning, but luckily he is intelligent enough to get good grades regardless. I went through it that as well at his age, although the main difference is that I got higher grades but had fewer friends (since I was very aggressive).
As for me, I have been wielding all the influence I have to get my mum and brother out. Since I am imposing physically, my dad has stopped being so violent when I am in the house. Since the last time, though, I struggle to sleep and I am often up at 3am listening to him drink on weekdays and weekends regardless. I am getting to a point where I am struggling to read emotions well. I can't remember two years of my life (apparently when the abuse was most intense), but now I am not really abused since my dad knows if he tries any stupid **** I will fight him. I feel like I am the only thing standing between him and my mother, and once had to threaten him with a chair to get him to stop. He could probably still win, but I could still hurt him enough to put him in an ambulance too. He, again, mostly psychologically abused me, although he did occasionally hit me ( I have photos somewhere, and I may upload them although I am kinda reluctant since I feel like I am making a mountain out of a molehill). I am not depressed, though since I feel like a resolution is on the horizon.
As for what has already been done. I have told my friends about much of it, and most of them, especially this one girl in our group, have been really nice about it. She has told me she will always be there for me, and I really like her for it, although she is a girl in a group of guys. I have also been seeing a counsellor as I mentioned, and he has been a great help for me. As for the rest of my family, my mum's terminal illness has a legal element, so her legal team know and offered her a restraining order against him. The police have been called twice too, although he has never spent a night in a cell like he probably should. The first time was when he flipped a car during an argument, the second was when he threatened to have my mum killed. My brother has been offered counselling but he has turned down (I felt the same at his age). Other things have been done that I don't know about, but still.<br>What had I ought to do? I am trying to get them to divorce so much for my mum's wellbeing, but I have no power. The family have a lot of power so they could potentially jeopardise a lot. Sorry if this is ranty, but I felt like I needed to put it out there. I am not worried about myself, it's more my brother and mum who I am worried about. Any questions just ask.
tl;dr: My Father and his side of the family act In a really weird, dynastic way. The abuse coming from them is making our lives hell and has made it really difficult to judge feelings.
RIGHT, now it decides it wants to work. At least in preview
Original post by Leukocyte
Well all I can say is read my first post again. Making such comparisons doesn't look good either.
Yeah, I just wanted to make it clear I am not Indian or Pakistani. Thanks
Original post by Eternalflames
It is hard since you depend on your dad financially, what other ways do you have to help support yourself, brother and mother?
I would suggest you go no contact with your dad and his family as soon as you can.
I would suggest you go no contact with your dad and his family as soon as you can.
I haven't talked to him in about a month. My mum is terminally ill though, so any minimum wage job will likely not give the financial grunt to keep her life expectancy maximised.
Original post by Anonymous
I haven't talked to him in about a month. My mum is terminally ill though, so any minimum wage job will likely not give the financial grunt to keep her life expectancy maximised.
I haven't talked to him in about a month. My mum is terminally ill though, so any minimum wage job will likely not give the financial grunt to keep her life expectancy maximised.
This is so sad
I think you, your mum and brother should continue to live separately from them. Is there no one on your mother's side who can help out financially?
Original post by Eternalflames
This is so sad
I think you, your mum and brother should continue to live separately from them. Is there no one on your mother's side who can help out financially?
I think you, your mum and brother should continue to live separately from them. Is there no one on your mother's side who can help out financially?
Not really. We have a grandfather, but he isn't all that rich, and her brother who is already supporting a family of 5 and holds down a stressful job. I have been trying to get them to separate, and they say they will do it after my exams, the issue Is that Its nigh impossible to focus at home since you can cut the atmosphere with a knife.
Original post by Mard_arse
I'm with 999 do the break BB code. Google it if I didn't put it right
Original post by Mard_arse
The title is inspiring but **** this for a thread no offense mate. Just use <br></br> or something to make paragraphs.
Original post by 999tigger
Youd get more readers if you sorted out paragraphs.
I fixed it
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