I feel bad after what happened yesterday..

Basically, I went on a date with a guy yesterday.. I had a bit of a bad impression of him in the past, he hadn't treated girls in the best way, and I'd found him a bit rude the first time we met.

Despite this, I thought I'd maybe just judged him too harshly. We'd spent a bit of time together on nights out and I got the impression that he fancied me; he was trying to dance with me, hold my hand, hug me etc. and then at the end of one, he told me he liked me and wanted us to spend time together.
he started sending me messages on facebook saying he wanted to see me, he found me very pretty, he wanted me to go and visit him, .etc.

I agreed to a date with him, and we were supposed to meet at a local park, but it was raining, so we agreed to meet in the library. He then asked if we could quickly stop by his place so he could pick something up, and then when we got there, he started kissing me.

We were kissing, and then he pulled down his trousers and pushed my head downwards... I told him I didn't want to, and he said, please, I like that ,come on... and I did it.

I feel like such a slut now. I don't even know why I did it, and I feel so cheap. We didn't do anything else other than that, but I feel terrible now.

I'd told him previously that I wasn't looking for just a casual thing, I wanted a relationship. He'd told me in the first instance he wanted one too, but then hasn't mentioned anything about it since. He said he wanted to 'see me all the time', and he was sending me a lot of fb messages.

But yesterday after that happened, we went out in a group and I tried to avoid him. I felt so uneasy and just didn't want to speak to him, and he noticed I think.

I don't ever want to see him again, I really regret doing that and I don't think he's a nice guy.Does it sound like I am over-reacting?

We've got a lot of mutual friends so it's sure I'll bump into him again anyway :frown:

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Reply 1

Anonymous #1

I tried to make clear to him I was looking for a serious thing, but I feel like he planned deliberately for us to go to his house. When he told me to give him a blowjob I should have walked out the house and told him where to go. I feel so cheap for doing that.

Reply 2

Plantagenet Crown

Looks like he just used you for a quick blowjob. Stay away and blank him if you bump into him again.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Plantagenet Crown

Looks like he just used you for a quick blowjob. Stay away and blank him if you bump into him again.

Yeah

I told him I didn't want to have sex but I'm sure he would have done if i'd let it happen.
I feel so dirty now, I don't know why I am so weak, I should have just walked out the house.
I am going to stay away from him, just scared it'll be really awkward when I see him as we've got friends in common :frown:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Any other advice? Should I msg him or?

Reply 5

1682795

Original post by Anonymous

Any other advice? Should I msg him or?

Yup.

Tell him politely to f.. off. Unless you want to do it in public when you both meet at some point.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Lol, thanks, I will consider doing that!!

Reply 7

physicsphysics91

Isnt this basically rape, you said no.

Reply 8

tinkerbelle2

Hey, I'm sorry this happened! Don't beat yourself up about it though. I really hate it when guys push your head down there it's like "Erm..NO" I find it a bit rapey and weird tbh.. Just know that it would've been totally OK for you to say no and insist no. He does sound a bit manipulative so its probably better that you don't pursue things with him. You said you really don't want to see him again, if you do try and avoid him. He will take the hint.

Reply 9

username1623349

Don't pursue things with him. You said no and he coerced you into it, and you said yourself you feel cheap, and like a slut. Is that the sort of person you want a relationship with? You said you don't want to see him again, so don't. Block him and avoid all contact. Although you could always send him a message telling him what you think of him before you do.

Reply 10

Ladymusiclover

See this is why I can't get in a relationship. I can't trust any one. Seems like he used you. He's a jerk. Don't have any contact with him.

Reply 11

999tigger

well that wasnt what i expected.

OP either cut him off completely or if he starts bugging you tell him you are not interested . Block him on your phone and all social media. You dont know what sort of person he is , but hopefully he will go away. dont tlak to him any more than that becayse you will just encourage him. he already thinks he cna get you to do what he wants becayse of the previous success.

Reply 12

loveleest

Wtf? That is rape... I can't believe only one person mentioned it :/
What he did to you was disgusting and it seems as if he isn't interested in you other than sex.
I would stay clear away from this guy, he sounds dangerous.

Reply 13

Spongebob'sPants

Original post by loveleest

Its not rape... he said "please" and she consented and did it. She should have said no and walked out.

Reply 14

Zarek

Nasty piece of work. I would hold your head high and treat him with distain is you see him again.

Reply 15

Colour Me Pretty

Original post by Spongebob'sPants

Its not rape... he said "please" and she consented and did it. She should have said no and walked out.

It's closer to sexual assault. The fact he forced her head down and she initially resisted was a clear indication that she did not want to do it. You should never have to utter the word "Please" during a intimate act, both parties should be willing and enthusiastic.

OP, you are not a slut. Understandably, you felt overwhelmed in the situation and went with the easier option as you felt uncomfortable and, perhaps, threatened. I would block this guy and maybe confide in a friend in how you are feeling.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

Oh my days.

Now I get why muslims don't allow girls and boys alone without someone with them.

Feel sorry for you. If you do regret it then that is good as it seemed like you was not even comfortable from start.

Just ignore him and do not let any guy come so easy on you. Take care of yourself.