How much time should you spend with your partner?

Okay so I kinda just want some ideas here on how often you guys think you should spend with your partners..

I often see mine about three times a week, usually at nights after work. We live about ten minutes away from each other.. He goes out and sees his friends the rest of the time and I see mine too and also do other things. Sometimes I wish we spent more time together. Some of my friends live with their partners and they spend every single day with them and I never ever get to see them as that's all they want to do. I feel a bit left out as I don't live with my partner yet so he often wants to see his friends a lot but I feel as if sometimes I have nothing to do as a lot of my friends are always hung up with their partners..

How do I solve this and stop making myself be so available towards my current partner.. I seem desperate sometimes as I never really have anything to do or anyone to hang out with whereas his friends always wanna see him..

Answers would be grateful.

Reply 1

ODES_PDES

During term time very litlle as we are both at different Universities

Reply 2

mkap

depends, with my current one three times a week, after the summer we're planning to go LDR for a while bc im going to be abroad.

Reply 3

ikhan94

Have a chat with him, tell him your feeling left out.

Reply 4

Davalla

Original post by Anonymous

We live about ten minutes away from each other... I don't live with my partner yet

You don't need to live together if you're only ten minutes away. That just sounds like you're forcing time together.

Original post by Anonymous

I seem desperate sometimes as I never really have anything to do or anyone to hang out with whereas his friends always wanna see him..

Is there any way that you can become one of the lads and hang out with them too?

You never know, you might fall in love with one of his friends who might not be as boring as him.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 5

doodle_333

it's different for different people

I live with my partner and we still spend 2-4 evenings a week apart because one or the other of us is busy doing something and regularly a weekend day too

don't try and force it to be anything else, your friends will find some balance eventually, maybe try and pick up a hobby to fill your time

Reply 6

Caraphernelia

My boyfriend works away in the weekdays so i don't see him at all during the week unless I catch a train up to see him. We spend friday afternoon-Sunday evening together and it seems to work relatively well as in the week I can get on with doing what I like with my evenings etc (Like I won't feel guilty going swimming after work and coming back at 9pm) and so can him. It can be tough as the weekends are the only time he gets to see his family and friends too as well as me so occasionally there are arguments and I don't always get to see him as much as I'd like but generally it works well for us.

Yes it may be hard and sundays are horrible but it just makes the weekends extra special for us.

I would maybe talk to him and say you understand the importance of you both being apart and having your own lives but say it would be nice to see him a little more. Communicate with him and ask him to tell you in advance if he's going to be busy on a certain day so you know not to keep asking to see him and so you can do something for yourself. Yes it might mean some weeks you see him more than others. If you don't ask him then he won't know to leave aside an extra day or 2 to see you and not make other plans with friends

Reply 7

Nirgilis

Currently doing the whole LDR thing, but we manage to see each other every weekend :smile:

. That should hopefully be changing soon though - want to spend as much time as possible together outside of work!

Reply 8

Changing Skies

I live with my partner during the university terms so see him every day, otherwise we probably see each other every other day.

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Reply 9

Lucarious30

Original post by Anonymous

You should always talk to your partner and let them know if something like this is on your mind, you're both in this together and a team can't work if they're hiding their feelings.I think one of the worst things you can do in a relationship is bottle up your emotions, because without realising it you're going to express that and he may think you're being distant.So open up to him, and ask if you can see him more often - just because you don't see him everydayisn't a bad thing, it's healthy to miss each other, in a way it keeps the relationship alive.

I see my partner everyday as we currently work together. I do see her most days after work, but we try tohave some days where we don't see each other. Of course, I miss her but it makes seeing her the next day that much more special. Even seeing each other on the weekends is exciting cause it's spending the break from work with the one personI want to be with. I believe if this is the person you love and you really want to be with then you'll accept them forwho they are and in this case - my partner is the perfect match.

Reply 10

username2371841

i spend everyday with him, but we only see each other everytime i go to the fridge

Reply 11

username47781

Three times a week is good, some people barely see their partners in a week. It is also healthy still having your own lives as well.

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

Only once a week as we don't live together and he works full time unsociable hours. It sucks and i'm starting to question if I want it to be like this anymore.

Reply 13

BlueSheep32

When my boyfriend and I were at the same uni we saw each other three times a week on average, but it was never for very long, so it sometimes didn't feel like we saw enough of each other as it wasn't always 'quality' time. When he moved back home and we could only spend weekends together, we did get a lot more quality time and although I still missed him it was nice to be able to spend a whole weekend together and do my own thing during the week, and I appreciated the time we did spend together more. So it might be worth putting that to him as an option (as in see each other less often but spend more time together when you do)? You'll miss him when you're apart but it's healthy to have your own lives.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 14

Findlay6

I live with mine now so - everyday. Although even though we're together we're doing different things.

Before that, it was a few times a week, depending on work.

In previous relationships It was every few weeks as there was a large distance between us, and before that it was 2-4x a week.

Reply 15

keepdreaming-

Once every month or every two months. LDR. Be thankful for the 3 times a week LOL. That seems like more than enough to me really... I mean you have your own lives too