good convo starters

yo wasteman wat u sayin

Hey i just got out of prison for murdering, do you want to be my friend?...

Honestly? Anything, like i'm looking at my shoes right now.

No need to tie yourself in knots.

ahah nice little pun but like what do i do if they don't reply

Nothing, just wait it out. If they're interested they'll get back to you eventually.

If you chase a cat that doesn't like you what does it do? It runs.

lol this one is running a marathon by the looks of it

How long does he take to get back to you? Minutes? Hours? Days?
How long are the conversations? One line? Minutes? Hours?
How much interest does he show?
Does he compliment, double text, ask about you, reveal things about himself, actually make some sort of effort? Text randomly? Does he flirt?

If you do none of these things as well he probably thinks the same about you.

sometimes i feel like its going really well and conversation is flowing and like every minute of the day but other times its like theres no effort there whatsoever for days so its kind of bipolar

Maybe he just doesn't have anything to say? Speaking as a guy, sometimes I can carry conversation for hours and othertimes I struggle to think of anything, when that happens I usually just back off or something depends how busy I am etc, too many factors to consider really, but I think you can tell when someone is interested, I usually can anyway.

If it's just as a friend what does it matter? "hey, how are you? having a good week?" would be fine

Nah this type of thing is bait and too clingy, no one in the normal world under the age of 25 will think you're chill if you message someone asking how their week is. Come on. Lets use our social skills.

If you message 'Hi, how is your week going '
They will respond with (most of the time) 'fine thanks you'
Then you can either talk about yourself or say 'fine too'

congrats on establishing yourself as a) boring af and b) a cling mf

1) Always message with a purpose. If you have something to say then your first line will come naturally. For example, If you want to meet up; 'Hey, are you going out tonight, we're having pre drinks at mine', 'Have you checked out the knew ... film, man'. If you are just inquiring as to how they're doing it only works if its specific. E.g. 'Dude, that test is going to suck so hard tomorrow, you done much work for it?'

2) I cannot stress how much you need to leave the cheese behind

3) Stop bothering the person unless you want something or have something to say

Blah Blah stop being silly