Can't get a girlfriend
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Do you ever go out with your friends? To like parties and stuff? I know that your profession very obviously limits your free time quite severely, but going out with friends or to parties of people you know or sort of know is a great way to meet people, since more girls that you wouldn't usually meet come into contact with you. I personally met my boyfriend at a party, and it doesn't require you to be witty or particularly flirty, since the girl will most likely already be in a fun mood anyway so will be more receptive to your advances.
And I would say always try, regardless of race. I have a white friend who exclusively goes for men of south asian/middle eastern heritage, so you never know what the girl might be into. Plus, think of how many girls go crazy for Zayn from one direction! The point remains, always try, the worst that can happen is she says no, and by the sounds of it you're used to that already ahaha.
Another tip I would say is that don't overlook dating apps and online dating. I know it might seem like a last resort but it's becoming more and more the norm, plus you can tailor your preferences to whatever you like, and specify things like hobbies, profession, even race if it's that important to you. And it's great for someone like you that doesn't have that much time to go out and meet people, because you can message anytime and anywhere, and establish a connection that is already within a romantic context due to the nature of the app or site so you won't get friendzoned.
Just some ideas, hope these help
And I would say always try, regardless of race. I have a white friend who exclusively goes for men of south asian/middle eastern heritage, so you never know what the girl might be into. Plus, think of how many girls go crazy for Zayn from one direction! The point remains, always try, the worst that can happen is she says no, and by the sounds of it you're used to that already ahaha.
Another tip I would say is that don't overlook dating apps and online dating. I know it might seem like a last resort but it's becoming more and more the norm, plus you can tailor your preferences to whatever you like, and specify things like hobbies, profession, even race if it's that important to you. And it's great for someone like you that doesn't have that much time to go out and meet people, because you can message anytime and anywhere, and establish a connection that is already within a romantic context due to the nature of the app or site so you won't get friendzoned.
Just some ideas, hope these help
Original post by Addie_
Do you ever go out with your friends? To like parties and stuff? I know that your profession very obviously limits your free time quite severely, but going out with friends or to parties of people you know or sort of know is a great way to meet people, since more girls that you wouldn't usually meet come into contact with you. I personally met my boyfriend at a party, and it doesn't require you to be witty or particularly flirty, since the girl will most likely already be in a fun mood anyway so will be more receptive to your advances.
And I would say always try, regardless of race. I have a white friend who exclusively goes for men of south asian/middle eastern heritage, so you never know what the girl might be into. Plus, think of how many girls go crazy for Zayn from one direction! The point remains, always try, the worst that can happen is she says no, and by the sounds of it you're used to that already ahaha.
Another tip I would say is that don't overlook dating apps and online dating. I know it might seem like a last resort but it's becoming more and more the norm, plus you can tailor your preferences to whatever you like, and specify things like hobbies, profession, even race if it's that important to you. And it's great for someone like you that doesn't have that much time to go out and meet people, because you can message anytime and anywhere, and establish a connection that is already within a romantic context due to the nature of the app or site so you won't get friendzoned.
Just some ideas, hope these help
And I would say always try, regardless of race. I have a white friend who exclusively goes for men of south asian/middle eastern heritage, so you never know what the girl might be into. Plus, think of how many girls go crazy for Zayn from one direction! The point remains, always try, the worst that can happen is she says no, and by the sounds of it you're used to that already ahaha.
Another tip I would say is that don't overlook dating apps and online dating. I know it might seem like a last resort but it's becoming more and more the norm, plus you can tailor your preferences to whatever you like, and specify things like hobbies, profession, even race if it's that important to you. And it's great for someone like you that doesn't have that much time to go out and meet people, because you can message anytime and anywhere, and establish a connection that is already within a romantic context due to the nature of the app or site so you won't get friendzoned.
Just some ideas, hope these help
Thanks for the reply. I guess i dont go out to parties that often as a lot of my friends are doctors/ surgeons and they're not really into the whole '50 person party with everyone getting smashed' type of thing lol. I definitely go out to dinner most weeks tho with friends, but again, all my friends are guys and when we go out its just us guys. And to be fair, a lot of my friends also have the same issue of not being able to find a girl lool, so they're not really much help.
Ive thought about online dating, but it just seems as tho all the girls on online sites are the ones that have issues getting into relationships and are using the sites as a last resort. I know I would be doing the same thing and thats a terrible attitude to have, but it just doesn't feel right or romantic to go to online site. But I'm thinking now that online dating sites are pretty much my only option. But at this stage tbh, absolutely ANY girl with a good sense of humour would do. Just really want someone to care for.
I don't want to use apps like tinder tho coz I'm not into finding a girl just for sex and a one night stand. I just genuinely want to find a girlfriend to take care of and joke around with when i come home lol
And lol my name's also Zayn...haha. Ever since that guy from one direction stepped onto the scene, everyone uses zayn malik as a nickname for me. Its actually really annoying lol
Original post by NNB_Herath
Do I have one ????
I dunno, do you?
Original post by infumed
No actually, professionalism is highly important. If you see me and read this forum and then one day I'm the doctor you or anyone else reading this thread sees, that can cause major issues for doctor-patient rapport. Besides, I'm asking for helpful hints or tips, not to be judged
Good Point.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Mariobros
Why don't we just collectively end OP's misery by recommending him some girls aged 20-30? Im sure all of you must know ATLEAST 1 girl who wouldn't mind going on a date with a DOCTOR in his 20s?? Dinner/lunch is covered by OP (i hope)
Hahahah Thanks, but I'm really just looking for advice. Got rejected wayy too many times today
Are you actually putting yourself out there? The best way to find a relationship is to stop looking, just go and meet people through things you like doing and take it from there
Original post by Blondie987
Are you actually putting yourself out there? The best way to find a relationship is to stop looking, just go and meet people through things you like doing and take it from there
I genuinely don't know how. I talk to loads of girls and ask some out as well. But they have all said no so far. Tbh, i don't even want a girlfriend at this point, just want to take a girl out on a date!
Original post by infumed
I genuinely don't know how. I talk to loads of girls and ask some out as well. But they have all said no so far. Tbh, i don't even want a girlfriend at this point, just want to take a girl out on a date!
Where are you meeting these girls? And how well would you say you know them before asking them out?
Original post by Blondie987
Where are you meeting these girls? And how well would you say you know them before asking them out?
Sometimes on the street or in a cafe like costa or something lol. Im nearly always in the hospital so don't go out much, but i asked a ward pharmacist out the other day. Lool it went incredibly bad, with a very clear rejection. I think the awkwardness is too much for me to ask out anyone at work from now on...
Original post by infumed
Sometimes on the street or in a cafe like costa or something lol. Im nearly always in the hospital so don't go out much, but i asked a ward pharmacist out the other day. Lool it went incredibly bad, with a very clear rejection. I think the awkwardness is too much for me to ask out anyone at work from now on...
Well some girls are going to say no and some are going to say yes but you'll have a much better chance if you ask out girls with whom you're already fairly well acquainted rather than those whom you have just met as they don't know who you are or your intentions if you see what I mean? Does your work have any kind of staff nights out or clubs?
I haven't had any success with online dating, but it depends on the sites I guess. Eharmony's probably one of the better ones as members have to pay = more intent on finding someone, as opposed to POF where it's free and anyone with any intent can show up.
Original post by Blondie987
Well some girls are going to say no and some are going to say yes but you'll have a much better chance if you ask out girls with whom you're already fairly well acquainted rather than those whom you have just met as they don't know who you are or your intentions if you see what I mean? Does your work have any kind of staff nights out or clubs?
I've been telling him this again and again, but it's clearly not sinking in as he's still cold approaching women in the street in non social environments.
Infumed, if you want to take this route then that's fine...but don't complain about not having a gf, because you only have yourself to blame.
Original post by ANM775
I've been telling him this again and again, but it's clearly not sinking in as he's still cold approaching women in the street in non social environments.
Infumed, if you want to take this route then that's fine...but don't complain about not having a gf, because you only have yourself to blame.
Infumed, if you want to take this route then that's fine...but don't complain about not having a gf, because you only have yourself to blame.
Look man, Its difficult to take out time to go to social clubs like you said. Ive researched some, but the majority of them are at awkward times and don't actually seem all the fun. I also don't want to make too much of a friend with someone before asking them out as it literally hurts a lot more when someone shoots you down after you've invested a good amount of emotion and time into them. Also, i don't want to ask out anyone at work. The reason is coz I've tried that and (obviously) got rejected and now things are really awkward when i see them around the hospital. I tried it with a ward pharmacist and every time i see her around the ward its just too weird, and i don't want that again. And also from what I've heard, nurses and clinical assistants etc hate doctors/ surgeons so I'm fighting an uphill battle with them.
What this really only leaves me with is cold approaching which is again NOT working for me. Im at that point in life where i genuinely don't think anything is going to happen with any girl ever (as pessimistic as that sounds). I just can't believe that theres not even 1 girl out there, in the whole UK that wouldn't mind going on 1 date with me. Its actually baffling...
Original post by Blondie987
Well some girls are going to say no and some are going to say yes but you'll have a much better chance if you ask out girls with whom you're already fairly well acquainted rather than those whom you have just met as they don't know who you are or your intentions if you see what I mean? Does your work have any kind of staff nights out or clubs?
Well not really staff night outs, but my friends and i do go out most weeks. The problem is however that all my friends are guys, and non of them are exactly smooth with the ladies so they're not much help at all. Is there anything you'd recommend?
Original post by CHEETS
Defo tinder.
You sound great, I'd go out with you. I wonder what the problem is... strict parents?
You sound great, I'd go out with you. I wonder what the problem is... strict parents?
Hahah thanks. Yh my parents are quite strict but thats not really the issue here. Im my own man and take my own decisions and my parents know that. The real problem is that i can't find a girl to go out with. Thats literally the ONLY problem. I don't really want tinder too much as I'm not after a one night stand or anything. Ive never had a girlfriend in the past and never done anything physical with a girl at all. Like hugging is the most physical I've ever gotten with a girl, i haven't even kissed someone yet. So yeah i wouldn't really know what to do on a tinder date
Tbh im 26 this year and the fact is that i haven't done ANYTHING with a girl at all and don't even know what to do on a date if i ever went out with a girl. It feels sometimes that perhaps i should give up as don't you think I'm a bit old now to be STARTING this whole dating thing?
Original post by ANM775
I've been telling him this again and again, but it's clearly not sinking in as he's still cold approaching women in the street in non social environments.
Infumed, if you want to take this route then that's fine...but don't complain about not having a gf, because you only have yourself to blame.
Infumed, if you want to take this route then that's fine...but don't complain about not having a gf, because you only have yourself to blame.
See, I don't see this as a bad thing. Sure cold-approaching women isn't the most effective of ways to get dates, but he has the confidence to cold approach women. That to me is a good sign.
Original post by infumed
Look man, Its difficult to take out time to go to social clubs like you said. Ive researched some, but the majority of them are at awkward times and don't actually seem all the fun. I also don't want to make too much of a friend with someone before asking them out as it literally hurts a lot more when someone shoots you down after you've invested a good amount of emotion and time into them. Also, i don't want to ask out anyone at work. The reason is coz I've tried that and (obviously) got rejected and now things are really awkward when i see them around the hospital. I tried it with a ward pharmacist and every time i see her around the ward its just too weird, and i don't want that again. And also from what I've heard, nurses and clinical assistants etc hate doctors/ surgeons so I'm fighting an uphill battle with them.
Clubs are a bloody waste of time. If you want a hook up, sure, as it seems you have the confidence to initiate a conversation, but it won't lead into much further I doubt.
Original post by infumed
Tbh im 26 this year and the fact is that i haven't done ANYTHING with a girl at all and don't even know what to do on a date if i ever went out with a girl. It feels sometimes that perhaps i should give up as don't you think I'm a bit old now to be STARTING this whole dating thing?
I've been in a four year relationship and a one month relationship. I presently cannot get a girl to so much as look at me, so in a way I'm in the same boat as you in regards to getting a date, but let me share a few things.
1) The first relationship started on an internet forum. I think that is testament to the fact that you can find a relationship literally anywhere, at any given moment.
2) Lack of experience is really not that big of a deal, unless it is for your potential partner. You don't need to have slept with/kissed x amount of girls to be good at it, and I've found it comes naturally.
3) I would try Tinder, dating sites etc even if you don't get a date from there to just help with learning how to interact with women, learning what makes them tick, and the confidence boost when you get a reply.
4) Don't ask at work. Bad idea.
5) If it weren't for me being extremely lucky, I would still be a single kissless virgin now. I don't know how I got into those relationships, but I did out of sheer luck. You are not the only one in this boat. In fact I came across the profile of a woman earlier today who is 25 and never been in a relationship. I can't attest to other things but still, there's a variety of people out there with different experiences (or lack thereof).
I really wish I had more to offer you, but since I'm in a similar position I can't really suggest much. Just try not to let it get you down too much, focus on what you enjoy, but certainly explore going to events, interest groups etc.
The reality is [and i hate to bring race into it] that he is an arab man cold approaching mostly white women in a non socially acceptable environment ...aka the street.
thats a recipe for dissapointment. Years ago [when I was stupid enough to believe in PUA] I hit the streets with a variety of differant guys from many differant ethnicities and ALL arab/indain men i teamed up with absolutely stunk with white women. Some of these guys could actually get a decent amount of numbers from good looking girls, but none of them ever did well with white girls.
In my area there are a lot of arab immigrants too constantly approaching girls [mostly white women] and I see time and time and again women being mean and rejecting them like they're not even human.
im just trying to save the OP some heartache/wasted time and improve his chances by telling him to go mostly for his own race, and in socially acceptable environments. If he really must cold approach then do it on friday/saturday night where it doesn't seem so off/socially unacceptable
thats a recipe for dissapointment. Years ago [when I was stupid enough to believe in PUA] I hit the streets with a variety of differant guys from many differant ethnicities and ALL arab/indain men i teamed up with absolutely stunk with white women. Some of these guys could actually get a decent amount of numbers from good looking girls, but none of them ever did well with white girls.
In my area there are a lot of arab immigrants too constantly approaching girls [mostly white women] and I see time and time and again women being mean and rejecting them like they're not even human.
im just trying to save the OP some heartache/wasted time and improve his chances by telling him to go mostly for his own race, and in socially acceptable environments. If he really must cold approach then do it on friday/saturday night where it doesn't seem so off/socially unacceptable
Original post by infumed
Hahah thanks. Yh my parents are quite strict but thats not really the issue here. Im my own man and take my own decisions and my parents know that. The real problem is that i can't find a girl to go out with. Thats literally the ONLY problem. I don't really want tinder too much as I'm not after a one night stand or anything. Ive never had a girlfriend in the past and never done anything physical with a girl at all. Like hugging is the most physical I've ever gotten with a girl, i haven't even kissed someone yet. So yeah i wouldn't really know what to do on a tinder date
Tbh im 26 this year and the fact is that i haven't done ANYTHING with a girl at all and don't even know what to do on a date if i ever went out with a girl. It feels sometimes that perhaps i should give up as don't you think I'm a bit old now to be STARTING this whole dating thing?
Tbh im 26 this year and the fact is that i haven't done ANYTHING with a girl at all and don't even know what to do on a date if i ever went out with a girl. It feels sometimes that perhaps i should give up as don't you think I'm a bit old now to be STARTING this whole dating thing?
I don't think your situation is that unusual AT ALL. 26 is certainly not to old to be getting started among the people I usually hang out with. We clearly move in the same circles.
As for tinder, my ex-colleague is getting married to someone she met on tinder last year. I highly doubt that ALL girls on Tinder want a one night stand (pretty unlikely, lets be honest). Make it clear you want something long-term and you'll have floods of interest.
The reason I asked about the parents is that even if they don't lock you in a cage at night, they may have a subconscious influence on your choices. I know mine do. Whenever I do something I know my mum wouldn't approve of, I uncannily see her stern expression in my minds eye (and carry on anyway). It can be off-putting and stop you approaching people at all. Maybe they pushed the whole medic and career thing and enforced on you the view that anything non-study related is a distraction and will lead to your downfall? Do you live at home. Is there anywhere you could take a girl that you met? Is that what's stopping you?
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