Girls: sometimes interested then disappear. Why?

2 years ago I went through a very hurtful breakup. Since then I've been playing around, both because I may not be able to commit yet, and also because I don't want to.

What with Tinder and all, I've been with a lot of girls. I've made it somewhat clear from the start not to expect anything serious. This premise to say: I'm both "experienced" (I hate this application of the word but you get what I mean) and I definitely don't give off clingy vibes.

It has happened on a few occasions - at least two - that girls would be flirty and obviously attracted only to then have them cleanly disappear right after the date. With one of them we downright KISSED.
The other texted me literally 30 seconds after saying bye on the first date just to share something silly that had just happened to her on the tube's escalators, signalling a certain desire to be in touch with me immediately after we'd said bye. Moreover, upon huggin bye (no kiss) she said we should meet again soon.

This was followed by complete silent treatment upon a few hours. Why? I don't think it's a basic attraction thing, so I hypothesized that people do this because: (a) they met someone else right after and they're more interested, (b) they felt my "sex only" vibe and they thought me a player and they don't want it or (c) cold feet given to some attachment issues or whatever.

Am I far off the mark? Help a confused millenial please <3

Reply 1

cloudsonclouds

Original post by Anonymous

Do you mean to say she ignored you for a few hours? That's nothing to worry about! As a girl who often takes hoooouurs to reply (even to people I really like), this is normal. She could be busy or just not be on her phone, or after texting you so quickly after you said goodbye maybe she wanted to play it cool again a leave you hanging for a bit. If I did that to a guy, that would probably be the reason.

Also, she would definitely not say that you should meet up again if she didn't mean it. If she really just wanted to say good bye and leave she would not have said that. Hope this helps. Nothing to worry about, don't worry!!! :smile:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by cloudsonclouds

No, no. She stopped answering altogether, as if she'd found out I was married or was a rapist. Not even to a polite message in which I said it was regrettable I'd had to INFER she didn't want to meet again and wished her the best. What the...? :/

The other girl also disappeared. The last time I saw her we'd kissed, the last time we messaged she'd told me "Next Tuesday for lunch is good". Then complete silence.

DISCLAIMER: No, if you look me up on google nothing horrible shows up, nor anywhere else on the internet.

Reply 3

tootles44

Ermmm what do you expect when when you've made it clear that they shouldn't expect anything serious from you? To take you seriously?!

Reply 4

LostGirlOnTheRun

Original post by Anonymous

Umm what did you expect her to say about that lunch thing? I would definitely say that...but umm I think that you are reading too much into it..I don't know why you think that..but I do hope that it all works out for you...I know what it is like to go through a horrible break up that is very painful...and so do other people..
It doesn't help when you're feeling low and all, but tbh I don't know that that girl stopped messaging you...I don't think that there's a particular reason...but you'll never know unless you ask..

Reply 5

username1726117

Tinder is the worst for this sort of thing. I wouldn't worry about it too much. There's always someone more attractive either on their matches or waiting to be swiped. Sad thing is, a lot of the time they'll get messed around and then wonder why they can't find anyone. Same applies to guys too though.

Reply 6

chikane

They probably met someone else.

Reply 7

chlamydia9000

I've met numerous girls who have been snogging me within ten minutes (three of them), who have relentlessly complimented me, who I've slept with, who have texted me the next day 'I can't wait to **** you' and then asked for another date, and still they've vanished or made BS excuses. You will never get and satisfactory answer . Just move on.