Opinions on stay at home girlfriends/wifes?

I'm seeing more and more of this **** as I get older. No kids to take care of, but the guy works while the girl just chills.

Obviously people are free to do whatever they want with their lives, and I'm free to view guys in relationships like this as chumps...

Wives*

(edited 7 years ago)

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Gold diggers

She has to go for the career to start with so you can buy the best possible house together. After that you can sort it out however you want according to what your priorities are in life as long as you can meet the mortgage repayments. This is only the case in an economy like our one where it is high capital and low interest.

Plus it's scarcely any great shakes being a woman existing on housekeeping money, lunching with the same yummy mummies for the next 25 years of your life, moving or not moving as your husband requires, and knowing you don't have a way out if you need one.

Reply 3

TheonlyMrsHolmes

Original post by RivalPlayer

Best model for raising a family in my opinion.

Why?

Reply 4

Mentally

Great. As long as she keeps to her half of responsibility e.g. cooking/cleaning/looking after children.

Reply 5

TheonlyMrsHolmes

I wouldn't be able to, I never want to, I hope I'm never in that situation. I want to always be working and earning. I think it's just laziness staying at home while a man works(if you have no babies obviously, nothing wrong with stay at home parents).

I also don't want to feed off his money like a parasite. I'd feel awful for asking for anything, even the weekly shopping.

My mum has always, always worked. I can't imagine her just sitting around doing nothing all day, which is why I can't and don't ever want to imagine myself that way.

No, no, no, no, never, NEVER! NO!

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 6

Akarim11

If she's just at home with no responsibilities, chilling and not providing/benefitting the family in any way- I would find that so annoying. That's just being lazy and hardworking men should not waste their time on women like that

I think women should work, but if she chooses not to and her partner is ok with that I would expect her to be fully involved in the responsibilities at home. If she's doing neither, she's a time waster

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 7

yoda123

I want a partner who works, although I don't mind if she stops working if we have kids (I'm not expecting her to give up her job though). If she does, I'd still like her to commit to something she feels passionate about like idk art or something. I would never want to marry someone who just wants to stay at home and cook and clean everyday. It's a waste of life and of the opportunities which are available to us in the 1st world.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 8

Tarte Tatin

I think it's a personal decision and not for anyone to judge. My dad stays at home while my mum works. Obviously it's slightly different when you're a parent, but he does all the cooking, cleaning, etc.

Reply 9

SirMilkSheikh

I think that's the best way to have a stable, happy, healthy family. When I have kids, I don't want some random daycare lady to be raising my children, but my wife, their mother, the only person who will have unconditional love for them. No other woman is going to give them that sort of nurturing attention that a healthy and happy child needs.

Reply 10

TheonlyMrsHolmes

Original post by SirMilkSheikh

I don't think it's the "healthiest" way, a lot of women suffer with postpartum depression and anxiety, staying at home for such a long period of time can make it worse, also children are hard work.

There is NOTHING wrong with putting your child in daycare! It doesn't mean you don't love your child.

Reply 11

Straighthate

Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes

feeding a child and changing their nappies whilst they watch TV is hard work?
sign me up

Reply 12

mct21

My housemate has apsirations to become a stay at home mother. Personally, I was raised by a single mother who worked. And then a single dad, who worked. At no point have I ever felt that I was missing out because my parents weren't at home 24/7. I'm independent because there were times I had too look after myself.

Reply 13

Goaded

If, and a very big if I had kids and my husband wanted me to stay at home I certainly would. Otherwise I'd like to work.

Reply 14

TheonlyMrsHolmes

Original post by Straighthate

feeding a child and changing their nappies whilst they watch TV is hard work?
sign me up

bye

and feeding actually can be painful for women.

Reply 15

Platopus

Being a stay at home mum is literally my dream

Reply 16

maaash

I think most of what you're seeing is probably people with kids. The cost of putting a child in nursery often means that the lower earner (usually a woman) cannot return to work or would make very little profit by returning to work. It's quite sad really.

Reply 17

TheonlyMrsHolmes

Original post by RivalPlayer

It allows a mother to nurture and spend time with her children during the important early years of their lives. I think it's really important for kids to form a close bond. I'd hate to be a kid in a family where both parents work. Getting frequently shoved off to some form childcare would affect me mentally.

No it really isn't that bad, I think you're exaggerating. My mum worked when I was a baby, I was left with my grandma for a good 7 years of my early formative years.

I love my mum very much, I have a great bond with her. It really doesn't matter that much.

There is nothing wrong with putting your child in day care.

Also it's just as important for a father to nurture and spend time with his children and form a close bond with them.

Reply 18

childofthesun

Personally I'd hate being a full time house wife and having to completely depend on my husband for financial matters. I'm too ambitious and have too many things I want to accomplish to limit myself to someone whose day only consists of cooking,cleaning,looking after the children etc.. My mum managed to be the most incredible mother to six children while having her own career too, and I admire her even more for her ambitiousness and ability to find a balance between work and home life.