The Student Room Group

Men should stop pressurising yourself to be breadwinners

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/men-stop-pressurising-yourself-to-be-breadwinners-it-s-hurting-you-a7008371.html


Just stop it

Researchers from the University of Oxford Centre for Suicide believe that men are experiencing severe psychological distress caused by economic setbacks such as being made redundant, unemployed or incurring a significant cut in their income


Take it easy now

Scroll to see replies

It's not just men though is it? It's women and the rest of society in general.
Men, from teenage onward know full well that to improve your chances and make yourself more attractive to a wider group of girls and women and make yourself good life partner material you can do no better than show yourself to be a potential good provider. A decent car a good job with good earnings potential makes you a lot more attractive as a life partner to a great many women.
Women's earnings potential is way down the list for men compared to where women put earnings on the list. It's there in all classes but middle class more so.
This is why hypergamy is a one way street.
We also know that when children come along if the woman wants to go part time, as is often the way, it's seen as down to him to make up the slack with overtime or promotion to support the family.
Men are under pressure to support the family in a way that women just aren't.
If a father decided to go part time or stop work until the kids were in high school and put their wife under pressure to be the only bread winner in the way many women do, he would be looked down on as a waster by many in exactly the same way that women aren't.
It's not just the men that put pressure on themselves.
(edited 7 years ago)
I agree.
"The problem isn't breadwinning (despite all the Feminist crocodile-tears pretending that it is.)

It's Capitalism - the ruthlessness of which (e.g. redundancy, low income, unemployment) is destroying men.

Breadwinning is what men want to do. Without it, they're even worse off.

Especially in our Feminist society, which wants New (i.e. neutered !) Men, chained to the kitchen sink or doing the ironing, while their Ladyships climb career ladders and smash through glass ceilings"


Don't really care for the obsession with feminism within this comment but I agree with the rest of it.
Original post by TaintedLight
My path to independence and riches are already paved. Your concern is appreciated but unwanted.


I agree with the OP, I don't want the pressure of paying the meal and everything else in a relationship.
Original post by nemo86
http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/men-stop-pressurising-yourself-to-be-breadwinners-it-s-hurting-you-a7008371.html


Just stop it

Researchers from the University of Oxford Centre for Suicide believe that men are experiencing severe psychological distress caused by economic setbacks such as being made redundant, unemployed or incurring a significant cut in their income


Take it easy now


This is the least of my worries at present and I would like to think I speak for the majority in TSR.
First I worry about finishing Uni with a good class
Then I worry about getting a good job
Then I worry about getting married
Then I worry if I lose my job.
Original post by hezzlington
"The problem isn't breadwinning (despite all the Feminist crocodile-tears pretending that it is.)

It's Capitalism - the ruthlessness of which (e.g. redundancy, low income, unemployment) is destroying men.

Breadwinning is what men want to do. Without it, they're even worse off.

Especially in our Feminist society, which wants New (i.e. neutered !) Men, chained to the kitchen sink or doing the ironing, while their Ladyships climb career ladders and smash through glass ceilings"

Don't really care for the obsession with feminism within this comment but I agree with the rest of it.


That's so untrue though? Women don't want men to be what they have had to be - they want there to be less of an emphasis on it being a role for just men. Women want careers too and also, men only 'want' to be breadwinners because of social conditioning.
Original post by ODES_PDES
This is the least of my worries at present and I would like to think I speak for the majority in TSR.
First I worry about finishing Uni with a good class
Then I worry about getting a good job
Then I worry about getting married
Then I worry if I lose my job.


Whilst I agree with you, why do you want a good class, why do you want a 'good' job?

....is it to be a breadwinner? I think it's built into us to want to provide, albeit initially for ourselves.
Original post by hezzlington
Whilst I agree with you, why do you want a good class, why do you want a 'good' job?

....is it to be a breadwinner? I think it's built into us to want to provide, albeit initially for ourselves.


Nothing to do with being a breadwinner.
I want a good class degree and a good job for myself !
Original post by ivybridge
That's so untrue though? Women don't want men to be what they have had to be - they want there to be less of an emphasis on it being a role for just men. Women want careers too and also, men only 'want' to be breadwinners because of social conditioning.


Why do we want good education, 'good' jobs? Why do we want a 'good' salary? (Generally speaking)

It's ultimately to provide. It's in our nature. As a young man, I have this natural instinct to want to protect/provide for those around me. I wouldn't say it's social conditioning. This has nothing to do with women and their careers.
Reply 10
It's women who pressure men into working themselves to death. Try being a man who wants to work part time, do a job he likes for little pay or stay at home (as most women do) and see how women look at you. This is why women love using euphemisms like ''ambitious'' or ''driven'' or ''passionate''. The male always has to bring more than just himself to the table if he wants a mate, this is how things work for most species. Hypergamy is indeed a one way street and today's women's increased selfishness/materialism only makes it worse. Men would love to get a godam break from being disposable work horses and ATM's but I doubt women will go along with it anytime soon.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by W85Y4H3NJ2254
I agree with the OP, I don't want the pressure of paying the meal and everything else in a relationship.


Why do/did you feel that
Original post by hezzlington
Why do we want good education, 'good' jobs? Why do we want a 'good' salary? (Generally speaking)

It's ultimately to provide. It's in our nature. As a young man, I have this natural instinct to want to protect/provide for those around me. I wouldn't say it's social conditioning. This has nothing to do with women and their careers.


Because it's how you live, mate. You can't really survive without doing those things in todays world. Women want to do the same. I do not see the issue?

Yes except you gave a strongly anti-feminist, whiney, quotation as your opinion. You made women relevant.
I don't think people would stop feeling stressed simply by hearing others tell them to 'take it easy'?
Original post by ivybridge
Because it's how you live, mate. You can't really survive without doing those things in todays world. Women want to do the same. I do not see the issue?

Yes except you gave a strongly anti-feminist, whiney, quotation as your opinion. You made women relevant.


"Don't really care for the obsession with feminism within this comment but I agree with the rest of it"

That's what I wrote along with the comment, I was agreeing with the capitalism part of the comment not the rest, was too lazy to edit out the feminist parts.


Ofcourse you can survive without education and a 'good job'. My friends left school at 16 and they're all doing better than me haha.

Yes, women want to do the same. But why isn't this article titled "Men AND Women, stop pressuring yourself to be ‘breadwinners’ – it’s hurting you and your mental health"
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by hezzlington
Why do we want good education, 'good' jobs? Why do we want a 'good' salary? (Generally speaking)

It's ultimately to provide. It's in our nature. As a young man, I have this natural instinct to want to protect/provide for those around me. I wouldn't say it's social conditioning. This has nothing to do with women and their careers.


There's no point arguing with her/him/whatever they are. As you've said, we're designed in a manner to want to be a breadwinner, just like women are designed to be attracted to men with high earnings. You can't argue with nature, and although times are changing this particular concept (in a simple form) is inherent within us.


Posted from TSR Mobile
So much external pressure as well as an element of instinct.

Go on a date in London. 99 times from 100, what's the second question going to be after "what's your name?" ? It's not going to relate to your hobbies, let's put it that way.

Original post by egoclips
I don't think people would stop feeling stressed simply by hearing others tell them to 'take it easy'?


^^^
Original post by hezzlington
"Don't really care for the obsession with feminism within this comment but I agree with the rest of it"

That's what I wrote along with the comment, I was agreeing with the capitalism part of the comment not the rest, was too lazy to edit out the feminist parts.


Ofcourse you can survive without education and a 'good job'. My friends left school at 16 and they're all doing better than me haha.

Yes, women want to do the same. But why isn't this article titled "Men AND Women, stop pressuring yourself to be ‘breadwinners’ – it’s hurting you and your mental health"


Because women don't pressure themselves men do. It's a gender role.

That might be because you're studying, mate? Lol.
Original post by rEaR vIeW
There's no point arguing with her/him/whatever they are. As you've said, we're designed in a manner to want to be a breadwinner, just like women are designed to be attracted to men with high earnings. You can't argue with nature, and although times are changing this particular concept (in a simple form) is inherent within us.


Posted from TSR Mobile


Utter *******s. Prove this with biology and I'll accept. Prove it.
Original post by ivybridge
Because women don't pressure themselves men do. It's a gender role.

That might be because you're studying, mate? Lol.


Of course women pressure themselves, just like men do! Maybe not to the extent that men do. Is there inherently anything wrong with gender roles?

Quick Reply