Is it weird to want to wait until marriage to have sex?

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I understand the reasons why people want to wait until marriage but what if you wait and then realise it's really bad with that specific partner ?

Reply 21

ByronicHero

No, it isn't weird. You are entitled to have as much or as little sex with as many/few people as you feel like.

There absolutely will be people who won't want to be in a relationship without sex, so just be honest with potential partners about where you stand in that regard and you should be fine.

Whether you should "give up" or not is up to you. It isn't a competition so don't make the mistake of feeling guilty if you change your mind. If you meet someone you want to have sex with then put on some Barry White and have yourself an awkward time :h:

Reply 22

Anonymous #1

Original post by Another

To be honest, if the sole reason a guy sticks around is because your pussy is easier to access than others, I wouldn't call it a great relationship. Even if you were willing to do it before marriage, don't. Not to this breed of scum.

Thanks so much! You're totally right :smile:

Reply 23

unprinted

It's not weird.

It is a risk - what happens if you're not sexually compatible with your husband?

Reply 24

Josb

It's very weird and completely illogical.

Reply 25

Anonymous #1

Original post by unprinted

It's not weird.

It is a risk - what happens if you're not sexually compatible with your husband?

Guess we'd just talk about that stuff beforehand, like preferences and stuff

Reply 26

Josb

Original post by Anonymous

Both really, I'd hate to give my Virginity to someone and then they dump me?

Not all the guys are like that, you know.

If you have a functional brain, you should be able to see which guys are just interested in sex.

Reply 27

Strawberryalice

I've been on the pill for 4 months now and when I finished my last packet I decided to skip my period as my doctors said it would be fine. So I started a new packet straight away, however now I feel bad nauseous quite often throughout the day and I'm quite bloated too. Should I be worried?

Reply 28

zubz91

sex should not detemine your compatability. you and partner will grow accustomed to each others needs. its the soul that matters

Reply 29

ForestShadow

Original post by SinsNotTragedies

Do what you want.

this^^^

Reply 30

Anonymous #1

Original post by Josb

Not all the guys are like that, you know.

If you have a functional brain, you should be able to see which guys are just interested in sex.

I understand that, what I mean is that guys like many girls can be deceitful and even if the relationship ended in good terms I'd feel awful knowing that I wouldn't be able to be a virgin for my future husband

Reply 31

Ras' Al Ghul

Original post by carrotstar

Not weird at all. In fact it's very traditional and is only disappearing because of people making their own choices instead of following traditions. If I'm honest, I think it is a great test for someone's respect for you at the start of a relationship.

How is that a good test to see if they respect you? Assuming that they didn't say they weren't open to sex. I'm trying to understand your reasoning.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 32

Josb

Original post by Anonymous

Most guys don't care whether you're virgin or not. I'd rather not marry a virgin.

I think that a guy who refuses to marry a woman just because she is not virgin has a serious problem.

Reply 33

carrotstar

Original post by Ras' Al Ghul

How is that a good test to see if they respect you? Assuming that they didn't say they weren't open to sex. I'm trying to understand your reasoning.

Posted from TSR Mobile

The majority of people in or looking for relationships these days will expect sex before marriage. Therefore, if someone respects OP's wishes enough (and like them, obviously), they will stay with OP over someone who doesn't respect OP's wishes. It's a good way of separating the ones who just want sex from the ones who actually want to spend time with you in a relationship and love you for who you are.

Reply 34

troubadour.

Original post by Anonymous

It can just be rubbish when guys end it with me because they can't be bothered waiting and quote 'can get it somewhere else.'

Well, it is a free market, as far as mating goes. :dontknow:

You're in the somewhat lucky position of being of this view because of your religion, so you can easily find like-minded people through church, Christian Union if you're at university, etc. Those who just personally find the idea of premarital sex wrong and are unaffiliated with any religious organisation that preaches abstinence have a much smaller pool of potential mates to choose from. :tongue:

To answer the question: yes, I do find it weird.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 35

Anonymous #1

Original post by Josb

Most guys don't care whether you're virgin or not. I'd rather not marry a virgin.

I think that a guy who refuses to marry a woman just because she is not virgin has a serious problem.

Why would he have a problem? If he's religious then he wouldn't want to marry someone who's had sex.

Reply 36

Kurogane

Original post by Anonymous

Both really, I'd hate to give my Virginity to someone and then they dump me? I just want to have sex with one person who I love and spend my life with.. But also religious reasons, I've been trying to re establish my relationship with God and knowing that I'm following my faith really helps! It can just be rubbish when guys end it with me because they can't be bothered waiting and quote 'can get it somewhere else.'

To be fair it's perfectly valid for a guy to leave you if you don't want sex until you're married, it's not a matter of not being bothered, it's a matter of compatibility and sometimes religious differences. Personally you could be the sexiest loveliest person I've ever met, but if you told me that I'd dump you too, I'm not marrying someone who probably doesn't even know themselves what their sexual tastes are, that's asking for disaster and cheating.

It's vital to find out if you're sexually compatible and have similar kinks/interests. Now, I know you religious types like to think anything other than missionary is evil and such, but do you really want to wait until you've agreed to be with each other for the rest of your lives and find out he can only get up from having a buttplug inside him and that you can only cum while having your nipples tweaked and have neither of you into each others thing? No, cause that'd be terrible.

Also many people simply aren't religious and are sexually liberal and do NOT want to rush into marriage, ideally I'd rather go out with someone for 5-6 years before getting engaged, if at all, since I don't really need a piece of paper to say I love someone. That's something I prefer to show with actions.

Original post by Sophhhowa

I'm Catholic so therefore against sex before marriage. After all when u get married you are saying u want to be with that person forever so why would you ahve sec before marriage and be willing to make a baby with someone you are not willing to stay with?

Because not everyone needs a piece of paper to say they love someone. Also you can have sex without wanting to make a child. It's called prophylactics.

Reply 37

Whiggy

Original post by Anonymous

Hi so basically just what the title says, I'm a bit worried that I'll be unable to have a serious relationship because a lot of guys don't want to wait so long for sex :/ so is it weird? Should I just give up on it?

Well, if a guy won't respect your beliefs and values then you should find one who will! It's not weird at all, it's what you believe in. :smile:

Reply 38

Anonymous #1

Original post by Kurogane

Oh I wouldn't blame someone for dumping me over it, it's just a pattern with me ATM and so I was wondering if it was weird. But that's kinda irrelevant now because I know in my heart that I want to wait until marriage and I want to be with someone who wants that to and won't resent me for it.

For the record, I don't think the world is as black and white as good and evil. Everyone has good and bad inside of them, it's what you do with your life and the paths you choose that define you. Regarding the whole kinks thing well I'm not interested in 50 shades of grey activities so when such a topic came up of what he liked and and what I liked then I'd mention not wanting anything if that kind.

I don't actually care if he's a Virgin or not, it's a personal choice and helps me to reconnect with my faith. So if he wasn't a virgin he could just tell me his preferences before marriage.

Marriage isn't just a piece of paper to me, it's a coming together of 2 people and 2 families in the presence of God and expressing your love for each other and wishing to remain together always. It's also known that women who are Virgins when married are less likely to cheat/divorce so your notion that being a Virgini could lead to me later cheating is wrong, at least for me perosnally