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Mental Health Support Society XVIII

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So something really bad happened yesterday and I can't write it in here. Just not sure what to do.

Don't want to see my mentor tomorrow because I don't want to leave my room. Honestly feel like things just keep getting worse. Every time I think I'm rock bottom, life just throws more **** at me, just dont get why this keeps happening. I don't want this anymore. I'm trying to think positive and do my work and be a good friend and do all this crap like people say. But it doesn't work. ED is still bad, voices won't get lost, I'm getting more hopeless as the days pass, the flashbacks aren't improving...what do I do? ****. It's not like anyone in the medical profession gives a **** about me or they'd try and help, but all they ever talk about when I ask for help is my shitty degree...:sigh:

Sorry, I'm ranting, just so ****ing frustrated. I know I should just go private, but I can't afford it. Even if I did ask my parents, they'd say no because they're worried about money (my brother's wedding is expensive and they're also helping with a deposit on a house). And my dad is obviously one of the main reasons I have all these issues so I don't want to ask him anyway. But by default asking my mum would have to go via him at some point because he's so controlling with money and ****.

All just ****ing stupid and pointless. I feel like I'm drowning.
I'm currently going through my first major OCD, depression and panic attack setback since October last year. The conditions are always there every single day but setbacks come back around no matter how well you can deal with each condition.I've been here and even worse before and the important thing is to not count how long each setback lasts, but that you know they always come to an end and with every minute that passes, you're one step closer out of it. I'm writing this just in case anyone feels like I may have been ignoring them or been dry with them the last few days. I haven't, I've just been drained and worn out and I want to talk every second of the day to you all but its hard when you are worn out from constant anxiety and then panics.

I do appreciate every single mail, comment etc and I really am grateful for every single one of you who keep in contact with me and are there for me. I'll be back to my normal self soon :smile:

Setbacks can last a day, a week, a month but the main thing is I used to get them every week or 2 and now I'm going over 6 months without one so that is bloody brilliant. Its just left me a bit knocked back because I haven't had one for so long so feel a bit like "eh wtf do I do here?! I forget!". I think its because I haven't been well with migraines for the last few weeks and spent more time with one than without one and then all this crap with my therapist, its all been building up.

So in a nutshell - I am grateful for you all and thanks for being there for me and hope you're all doing well :hugs:
It's my birthday and I can't deal with all the people coming over to my house :frown: Voices are too loud.
Would like to apologise to @furryface12 for not replying, wasn't really sure what to say :redface: thank you for allowing me to pm in the first place though lovely xx
whilst i'm at it, may as well apologise to all the mods that pm me trying to help cos i'm not trying to be stubborn or anything but i literally can't get 'help' so it isn't like i'm trying to not take your advice, i would do just not in a position to take it

thanks to everyone anyway :hugs: x
Original post by Anonymous
Would like to apologise to @furryface12 for not replying, wasn't really sure what to say :redface: thank you for allowing me to pm in the first place though lovely xx
whilst i'm at it, may as well apologise to all the mods that pm me trying to help cos i'm not trying to be stubborn or anything but i literally can't get 'help' so it isn't like i'm trying to not take your advice, i would do just not in a position to take it

thanks to everyone anyway :hugs: x

Sorry, wasn't a good reply, wasn't really sure what to say either :s-smilie: really hope it works out alright though, and always here if I can help at all :hugs: for the second bit, I still haven't either so hardly one to go on at you for it! Do hope you can eventually though, when you're ready


Hope everyone's alright, Pathway and Spock especially. And happy birthday (again) Cinnie! Hope things calm down a bit at some point for you
Reply 305
Avatar for PandaWho
PandaWho
OP
17
gonna spoiler this for ranting and period talk

Spoiler

My boyfriend hasn't spoken to me or been online since Monday and I'm worried and considering calling his house phone... but it makes me really anxious and also I'm worried about seeming needy, or that his family will judge me for phoning :s-smilie:

I don't know whether I'm overreacting and that not talking for a few days is actually okay, or whether I'm justified in being worried about him and not being very happy when we go for periods like this without speaking
Original post by PandaWho
gonna spoiler this for ranting and period talk

Spoiler



Spoiler

Reply 308
Avatar for PandaWho
PandaWho
OP
17
Original post by Airmed

Spoiler


Spoiler

Struggling. Meeting with CPN tuesday. Scared to say things due to repercussions.
Is anyone around to talk :frown:
Original post by Noodlzzz
Is anyone around to talk :frown:


I would talk to you hun but i don't think you know me and i don't know anything about anything anyway so would be quite useless tbh :redface:
Hope you are ok :hugs: i'm sure someone on this pleasant thread will help you <3 x

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Spoiler

Original post by Anonymous
I would talk to you hun but i don't think you know me and i don't know anything about anything anyway so would be quite useless tbh :redface:
Hope you are ok :hugs: i'm sure someone on this pleasant thread will help you <3 x

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That's ok :hugs:
Original post by Anonymous

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I'm around if you want to talk x :h:
Original post by Noodlzzz
Is anyone around to talk :frown:


What's up? :hugs:
Original post by Airmed
What's up? :hugs:


Worried the government are going to break in. Can't call crisis team and partner is away tonight.
Original post by Noodlzzz
Worried the government are going to break in. Can't call crisis team and partner is away tonight.


:console: I promise you, they won't. Can you call a friend or family to come over and keep you company for a while? :hugs:
Original post by Airmed
:console: I promise you, they won't. Can you call a friend or family to come over and keep you company for a while? :hugs:


No :frown: Just got to ride this out.
Original post by Noodlzzz
No :frown: Just got to ride this out.


:frown: Make yourself a drink of something and curl up and read a book or watch tv etc. You'll be ok, I know it. :hugs:
Original post by Airmed
I'm around if you want to talk x :h:

Thank you Airmed :redface:
can i pm? :redface: x

Original post by Noodlzzz
No :frown: Just got to ride this out.


:hugs: x

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