Virgin marriage dangers

Scroll to see replies

So what? You're an adult in a marriage, adopt a dog, go on holiday, plant some flowers, get a mortgage. Flipping heck, the world does not revolve around having an orgasm. Have you tried Rostis? Have you tried Garlic bread? Have you ever seen a puppy? There are better things in the world.

So, what you're trying to say is there's no point in having sex before marriage because you should keep an open mind about other activities?

Which is ironic when you really think about it, because that's incredibly close minded.

There's nothing exclusive about sex or any of those things.

Reply 41

ForestShadow

Original post by thefatone

Not really a virgin anymore then eh?

Reply 42

bethanystephens

Original post by jenigma

wot ???

I don't think it's possible for me to convincingly explain my POV here as you will have to get to that level of maturity in life and experience it to understand the importance.

The majority of adults have sex... and to not ever have sex/shitty sex when you want to is a death sentence. You're only human, you will want to try it and if your partner doesn't, it can be hard. You will undoubtedly get curious at some point or regret your decision of getting married to that person. Are you meant to cheat? People are made to feel awful just because they leave their partners based on such reasons, but it's better to be happily single than miserably married (and/or cheating).

I conclude that you have never had a conversation with an asexual person before.

Reply 43

dogs4eva7

Original post by bethanystephens

I conclude that you have never had a conversation with an asexual person before.

You should at least attempt to read my previous posts before commenting. Why would someone who wants to have sex after marriage get into a relationship with someone who is asexual anyway?

Reply 44

bethanystephens

Original post by jenigma

You should at least attempt to read my previous posts before commenting. Why would someone who wants to have sex after marriage get into a relationship with someone who is asexual anyway?

Because some people have a concept of respect for the people they are in love with.

Reply 45

hezzlington

Original post by bethanystephens

Because some people have a concept of respect for the people they are in love with.

If you don't mind me asking, what is your reason for not wanting to have sex before marriage?

Reply 46

DiddyDec01

Original post by bethanystephens

I conclude that you have never had a conversation with an asexual person before.

First you say you are waiting and now your are asexual? Which is it?

Reply 47

dogs4eva7

Original post by bethanystephens

Because some people have a concept of respect for the people they are in love with.

You seem to be seeing the world in rose-tinted glasses. If someone wants to have sex, they're going to find it hard to be with someone who is asexual, no matter how much they love and respect them. Sure, they might stick around but it will be hard.

Isn't it unfair if the asexual person is making them stay anyway? Why does the one who wants to have sex have to be the bigger person and stay? Can't the asexual person be the bigger person and let go? It's obviously important to their SO, they are only staying out of 'respect for the people they are in love with'.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 48

bethanystephens

Original post by hezzlington

If you don't mind me asking, what is your reason for not wanting to have sex before marriage?

I don't want to go into it too deeply but sometimes bad stuff happens to people before they even know stuff is wrong. I think my beliefs also stem from the fact that I have seen things people do in life that turn out badly for them and I learn from other people's mistakes. Again, I hope no one is getting irate because this is literally my opinion. If people want to have sexual partners, I in no way condone it, as long as you aren't like, having sex on my dinner table or something.

Reply 49

bethanystephens

Original post by DiddyDec

First you say you are waiting and now your are asexual? Which is it?

I'm waiting, but I know a lot of asexual people who believe in waiting before experimenting with anything. Again, I'm not saying that I condone premarital activity in anyone else's life, this is literally just my opinion. If you wanna have 3,000 partners and never get married, I honestly don't mind, it isn't my life, everyone can make their own decisions.

Reply 50

username1533709

Original post by jenigma

And you have reached this level of maturity and life experience at age 20 ?

Reply 51

hezzlington

Original post by bethanystephens

This does not answer the question in any way but ah well, you do you sweetheart.

Sex on a dinner table/in the kitchen doesn't appeal to me. Those are sacred grounds.

Reply 52

bethanystephens

Original post by jenigma

You're not really understanding what I'm saying. My belief is to wait. My boyfriend also wants to wait. I have asexual friends who have partners who agree with waiting until they are married (for various reasons) before they do anything. Again, these are my opinions and I don't care what other people do. As my initial comment made fairly clear, this is only my opinion and I'm not pushing it on anyone.

Reply 53

dogs4eva7

Original post by Kadak

And you have reached this level of maturity and life experience at age 20 ?

Thanks for the stalking, I'm flattered.

You seem to have assumed that I have. But according to you, maturity is somehow based on age, and not life experiences :curious:

Reply 54

dogs4eva7

Original post by bethanystephens

I think you've taken this personally. No one who has replied to your comments are saying it's wrong to wait. It's pretty cool actually, shows a great deal of willpower.

Just wondering why you think sex wouldn't really matter after a marriage (when one has waited until then to have sex) and that it wouldn't matter if you had bad sex/none at all since you didn't have any in the first place.

Reply 55

username1533709

Original post by jenigma

Thanks for the stalking, I'm flattered.

You seem to have assumed that I have. But according to you, maturity is somehow based on age, and not life experiences :curious:

Your intellectual statements will always attract followers.
Well I guess it depends on whether you base maturity on biological concepts or psychological ones.It`s just that you dont expect a 20 year old to experience so much as to discuss topics like this from the viewpoint of someone much older.

Reply 56

dogs4eva7

Original post by Kadak

I'm a grandma really.. I cook and knit way more than someone my age should. My friends like to think of me as their uni grandma :yep:

Reply 57

bethanystephens

Original post by jenigma

No it's not that I'm just making sure that everyone knows that I'm not trying to push my opinions onto anyone at all since I know a few people who take everything that is ever said to them in such a way. And honestly, I really don't care about sex. People can take that as me being immature if they like, but it is more to do with the fact that sex is just a thing and really if you love a person I don't feel that a thing should become more important than a bond. My boyfriend shares this belief. So, when we marry, if we realize that sex isn't for us, we can either have crap sex (but will have nothing to compare it to, so will we even know the difference?) or just nip it in the bud. Also, we aren't waiting for religious reasons, but more for personal beliefs. Like to us, that is what makes a wedding special? I know it might sound stupid but there you have it.

Reply 58

dogs4eva7

Original post by bethanystephens

Fair enough! When you have it right with the right person though, you'll discover it's a different type of bond entirely.
Each to their own though, but if your boyfriend is the same, that's all you need really. Not everyone can be as lucky as you, you seem to be in an understanding relationship.