Am I a *****y person?

And do you think that lack of respect/mistreatment is a reflection upon me or are some people just so inclined?

Sounds like an awful person. She must be pretty because otherwise you wouldn't waste 2 seconds on this idiot.

Sounds like an awful person. She must be pretty because otherwise you wouldn't waste 2 seconds on this idiot.

Just out of interest, why do you refer to her as an awful person?

She was the one who asked to be exclusive (yet):
- She goes cold on you (you don't do this to someone in a relationship)
- She is constantly using her phone when you are together.
- She has cheated on her previous partner and has no remorse.
- She kissed another guy and considered leaving you.
- She has expressed concerns about cheating on you.
- She comes up with excuses that make you end up doubting yourself.

I don't condone you going through her diary, but if you have trust issues I am not remotely surprised.

True. It actually gets worse than I described so you're probaby right.

My gf and I have been together for about 6 months.

After about a month and a half of "seeing" one another, she asked that we become exclusive, and things seemed to be going really well. Then, all of a sudden, she stopped messaging me completely for about 4 days.

Eventually, we met up and things went back to normal, better even. I was confused but decided to let it slide. This being my first relationship, I didn't openly discuss it with her, and didn't know how to act in response, so I simply gave her space and let her get back in contact.

After a good few weeks, she again went cold on me. We still messaged and hung out, but she was constantly on her phone and didn't seem bothered at all by my presence. I know I shouldn't have done, but I read some entries in her diary, as I was completely confused. Turns out that, in spite of asking that we become exclusive, she had kissed another guy for about an hour at a party, and was considering getting together with him and leaving me.

At this point, I asked whether she was actually into me, and told her that if she wasn't we could call it a day, no hard feelings. She claimed that we hadn't been in a formal relationship, and didn't think I was bothered - in fairness I wasn't putting in the effort in terms of messaging etc. But we had still agreed to be exclusive prior to this...

I now find it incredibly hard to trust her - particularly since she opened up about cheating on her last boyfriend and feeling no guilt for it. As a result, I have found myself checking her enties again, albeit only on occasion. In spite of things going really well, and her telling me, in the strongest terms, how much I mean to her, she has written a few times that she is afraid of cheating on me at upcoming festivals etc. In a way, I feel justified by doing this, considering her actions, but wonder whether it makes me a terrible person?

2 words: dump her

This should be ringing huge massive chruch bells inside you telling you she shouldn't be your gf anymore.

At this point, I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, but also took a note to not get overly emotionally involved. When a partner is lavishing you with praise and declarations of devotion though, it is difficult to not get involved.

She had also slept with about 10 guys between the ages of 16 and 18, totalling about 12 by the time we met, at 20/21, but I again decided to give her the benefit.

Bro that's like 1 guy every 2.4 months xD

seriously if that's not telling you something about her i don't know what will xD


Don't ya think she's had enough benefit from you now and you seriously try and get to know what's truly going on?

True - as I said above, we've now broken up - in spite of her being ALL OVER me, in the strongest terms you can imagine before we left for uni, she has now potentially cheated on me with another guy, at the very least kissing him, so.

My gf and I have been together for about 6 months.

After about a month and a half of "seeing" one another, she asked that we become exclusive, and things seemed to be going really well. Then, all of a sudden, she stopped messaging me completely for about 4 days.

Eventually, we met up and things went back to normal, better even. I was confused but decided to let it slide. This being my first relationship, I didn't openly discuss it with her, and didn't know how to act in response, so I simply gave her space and let her get back in contact.

After a good few weeks, she again went cold on me. We still messaged and hung out, but she was constantly on her phone and didn't seem bothered at all by my presence. I know I shouldn't have done, but I read some entries in her diary, as I was completely confused. Turns out that, in spite of asking that we become exclusive, she had kissed another guy for about an hour at a party, and was considering getting together with him and leaving me.

At this point, I asked whether she was actually into me, and told her that if she wasn't we could call it a day, no hard feelings. She claimed that we hadn't been in a formal relationship, and didn't think I was bothered - in fairness I wasn't putting in the effort in terms of messaging etc. But we had still agreed to be exclusive prior to this...

I now find it incredibly hard to trust her - particularly since she opened up about cheating on her last boyfriend and feeling no guilt for it. As a result, I have found myself checking her enties again, albeit only on occasion. In spite of things going really well, and her telling me, in the strongest terms, how much I mean to her, she has written a few times that she is afraid of cheating on me at upcoming festivals etc. In a way, I feel justified by doing this, considering her actions, but wonder whether it makes me a terrible person?

Relationship looks poor, neither of you seem that happy or committed.

Not making you happy and you are fretting, if its like that now, then imagine what it would be like in a year.

Reading her diary is a really crappy thing to do and a gross violation of her privacy. You didnt do it once but youve done it again. Its a dumping offence by itself,. Go and find someone else, you seem poorly matched and once she finds ut she will lose respect for her, not that either of you respect each other anyway.

Perhaps, although this was during the early stages. As stated above, it became INCREDIBLY intense, both of us feeling extremely happy and her talking of a future, kids, house etc.

Not perhaps. Two wrongs dont make a right. She might be a crappy or flakey gf, but you arent a good match. No matter how you spin it you invaed her privacy at least twice. Some people think its important and a spineless thing to do.

Anyway its over now. Think about it in future though. Same goes for breaking into someone e-mail account or phone. Completely untrustworthy imo.

I agree, but still maintain that she gave me every reason not to trust her, and that lack of trust was proven accurate eventually. Also, I breached her privacy out of self-protection and a desire to find out what she really wanted, so as to make her happy. Her breaches were arguably far more hurtful and thoughtless.