The Student Room Group

parents forcing me to go to university

Cut a long story short my parents thought I was going to school but realized I was not going

Now that they know they are literally forcing me to go to college and university

I dropped out due to mental health issues and my parents are immigrants.

What should I do? Who is in the right?
Reply 1
Who knows.
Nobody is in the right or wrong. Although your parents have a right to be disappointed, at the end of the day it is 100% your choice what you choose to do. You shouldn't let them dictate your life. Going to university is a big decision to make, and if you've decided you don't want to go that's completely fine and you shouldn't feel guilty about that choice, even if your parents don't like it.
Original post by Anonymous
Cut a long story short my parents thought I was going to school but realized I was not going

Now that they know they are literally forcing me to go to college and university

I dropped out due to mental health issues and my parents are immigrants.

What should I do? Who is in the right?


best thing you can do is start a successful business which won't be easy but at least you can control the deadlines and have more choice in how things happen
i know plenty of people myself includedwho started with very little to invesst but made it

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Original post by jamesthehustler
best thing you can do is start a successful business which won't be easy but at least you can control the deadlines and have more choice in how things happen
i know plenty of people myself includedwho started with very little to invesst but made it

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Whilst to some degree you're right in that a start-up can make you very successful, it's very naive to think that there is a good chance of success. 90% of start ups crash within the first three years and the ones that make it usually don't give a salary to the owner for a few years. Whilst it's a great thing to do I really don't think that it's the best advice to be giving someone who's parents value education so much.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Cut a long story short my parents thought I was going to school but realized I was not going

Now that they know they are literally forcing me to go to college and university

I dropped out due to mental health issues and my parents are immigrants.

What should I do? Who is in the right?


Get a job. Get a studio apartment. Move out.
Original post by Anonymous
Cut a long story short my parents thought I was going to school but realized I was not going

Now that they know they are literally forcing me to go to college and university

I dropped out due to mental health issues and my parents are immigrants.

What should I do? Who is in the right?


As a previous poster said, both are right both are wrong. I agree with you in that you shouldn't be forced to do anything as an adult, but I am assuming you're 18 or 19 and tbh mate that isn't old enough to know how the world works yet. I hope I'm not coming across as rude, I don't mean to be patronising. They shouldn't be forcing you to go to college, but they are also well within their right to say legally you're an adult now, you can continue living with us if you want to to but you have to uni.

So many people who are 18-19 now will have degrees coming out the ass in a few years time, university qualifications don't carry the same prestige they once did. If your parents are immigrants and have this stance with university study, there is a very good chance that the chance of getting university qualifications was something to be aspired to in the highest order wherever they are from. I'm assuming you're in the UK, in which case you're in one of the very best places in the world for education and people who didn't grow up here are much more likely to value the opportunity to study here so much higher/

They cannot force you to do one thing or the other, they can only stop supporting you if you don't. they want you to have a privileged and successful life and university is a good stepping stone towards that so they aren't wrong to make you go. I don't think that you'd regret going once you have a degree, but if you really don't want to go then they cannot make you.
Original post by geolowiser
Whilst to some degree you're right in that a start-up can make you very successful, it's very naive to think that there is a good chance of success. 90% of start ups crash within the first three years and the ones that make it usually don't give a salary to the owner for a few years. Whilst it's a great thing to do I really don't think that it's the best advice to be giving someone who's parents value education so much.


i feel more experienced than you on this one i have had my business running for 18 months now started on £2,000 and yet i have £25,000 in purchased stock in my safe worth £60,000
Original post by jamesthehustler
i feel more experienced than you on this one i have had my business running for 18 months now started on £2,000 and yet i have £25,000 in purchased stock in my safe worth £60,000


I've no doubt that you're more experienced in this, just playing devils advocate. I don't think advising someone to not go to uni and start their own business is always the best approach, it's clear that you've got a mixture between great skill at what you do and a huge serving of right place right time. No doubt you've work very hard to get where you are but don't ignore the stats. Your success is not the benchmark, statistcally almost all start ups fail and that includes people who have attempted it after already working in business. You're the tip of the iceberg and there are hunders beneath you who didn't make it. As I said, just playing devil's advocate and don't want OP to ignore the realities of it.
Original post by geolowiser
I've no doubt that you're more experienced in this, just playing devils advocate. I don't think advising someone to not go to uni and start their own business is always the best approach, it's clear that you've got a mixture between great skill at what you do and a huge serving of right place right time. No doubt you've work very hard to get where you are but don't ignore the stats. Your success is not the benchmark, statistcally almost all start ups fail and that includes people who have attempted it after already working in business. You're the tip of the iceberg and there are hunders beneath you who didn't make it. As I said, just playing devil's advocate and don't want OP to ignore the realities of it.


okay i'll admit i was lucky that i found a niche market and had people to advertise and sell to before my stock arrived
Original post by jamesthehustler
okay i'll admit i was lucky that i found a niche market and had people to advertise and sell to before my stock arrived


No doubt a very hard thing to do though
Original post by geolowiser
No doubt a very hard thing to do though


surprisingly no i just happen to know a few rich people who know other rich people and so on and so forth
i mean i have a scientist on my books, 6 national advertising agents and a major uk film director
Original post by jamesthehustler
surprisingly no i just happen to know a few rich people who know other rich people and so on and so forth
i mean i have a scientist on my books, 6 national advertising agents and a major uk film director


hahaha oh **** nice
If you don't want to go to university you don't have to. You do have to do something though, so you should find a job or an apprenticeship.
Original post by geolowiser
hahaha oh **** nice


i was lucky on who my dad worked for with those

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