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I feel guilty over leaving my mother when I go to uni?

Me and my mother have never really gotten along very well and I really value my own independence and so I applied for my accommodation at uni but I'm feeling torn up with guilt. She was all hyped up and nervous while I was filling out forms and applying for funding and she outright refused to help me and my father sort out the details.

My father lives and works in Newcastle and comes home on weekends. I personally think their marriage is in crisis as they are living separately and when they are both home it's pandemonium. They always fight and it's complete chaos as they can't seem to function together. Originally they weren't going to let me live away from home but I eventually convinced them to let me go into halls for a variety of reasons. Ever since then my mum has kept saying that I can't "survive alone" and am "helpless". I'm the one alone in the house most days as she's at work and I keep the house tidy and well maintained while she's out so her claims are obviously not true at all. I feel she's making a conscious effort to keep me at home and I feel awful for leaving her alone with no one but my younger brother (who is a complete ******** by the way) and I worry she'll be the one struggling in her own. I'm worried something happens to her while I'm gone because we live in a high crime area and have been burgled three times in the past two years. I'm only going to Glasgow uni (hopefully. If I don't meet my conditions I'll be going to Stirling) which is about 30 miles or so away from home and we live right next to the train station so it's not as if I'm moving across country or would struggle to get home but I'm still so worried about leaving her. None of my friends seem to be feeling this kind of guilt so how do I get over it and maybe make her feel more comfortable about me living away?
Original post by TinyPhasma
Me and my mother have never really gotten along very well and I really value my own independence and so I applied for my accommodation at uni but I'm feeling torn up with guilt. She was all hyped up and nervous while I was filling out forms and applying for funding and she outright refused to help me and my father sort out the details.

My father lives and works in Newcastle and comes home on weekends. I personally think their marriage is in crisis as they are living separately and when they are both home it's pandemonium. They always fight and it's complete chaos as they can't seem to function together. Originally they weren't going to let me live away from home but I eventually convinced them to let me go into halls for a variety of reasons. Ever since then my mum has kept saying that I can't "survive alone" and am "helpless". I'm the one alone in the house most days as she's at work and I keep the house tidy and well maintained while she's out so her claims are obviously not true at all. I feel she's making a conscious effort to keep me at home and I feel awful for leaving her alone with no one but my younger brother (who is a complete ******** by the way) and I worry she'll be the one struggling in her own. I'm worried something happens to her while I'm gone because we live in a high crime area and have been burgled three times in the past two years. I'm only going to Glasgow uni (hopefully. If I don't meet my conditions I'll be going to Stirling) which is about 30 miles or so away from home and we live right next to the train station so it's not as if I'm moving across country or would struggle to get home but I'm still so worried about leaving her. None of my friends seem to be feeling this kind of guilt so how do I get over it and maybe make her feel more comfortable about me living away?

Even if you did stay at home while studying at uni it would only be prolonging the inevitable. You have to leave home at some point, and you'll still be living at home when it isn't term time, so it's not like she won't see you the whole time :smile: call her regularly at first, and then gradually decrease it as she starts to get used to you being away

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