Terrified of my driving lessons!
Hey everyone. Apologies if this post isn't supposed to be here, I did have a look to see if it could go anywhere else.
Okay, basically I'm doing driving lessons and have been since November and I absolutely hate every single one of them. I've now had 14 lessons in total and I am absolutey terrified.
I have had two instructors in the past. The first one rinsed me for my money and I didn't realise at the time because I was 19. I quit after about 9 lessons cause I ran out of money. Whilst with him, I had two vans come behind me at different times, who were absolute arses. They tailed me and kicked off in my mirror because I stalled and was taking too long. I was really scared, panicked and ended up upset. Stopped lessons with this guy as previously said and waited a year.
The next year I started up again, and again quit to lack of funds. This guy liked to throw you in the deep end which I didn't particularly like. After 3 lessons I was doing all sorts that I didn't like or feel confident doing, and he told me I'd pass in 15 lessons. Although he liked to throw his students in the deep end, he wasn't very nice. On two occasions on trying to do the correct thing, he grabbed the wheel, told me to pull over and called me stupid. I cried my eyes out and went home.
Now 2 years on, I started again and do have the funds to learn. My issue is that I am so so scared.
I opted for a female driver this time, and she's lovely, however my fear takes over and after a few lessons with her, I began to panick and had to come home twice sobbing. On both occasions was when I had made a mistake like stalling in the middle of a junction or something similar. She suggested I take kalms before my lessons to help me out.
Anyways, the kalms help to a degree, but throughout my lessons I'm constantly aware than I feel anxious, and my hands shake on the wheel. I stalled last week at some traffic lights and just panicked. My heart was racing, I wanted to cry, just wanted to run out of the car. I did drive myself home, but I was so scared. Every time I think of my lessons I feel sick. I have one tomorrow and would love to cancel it, but it's a bit late and I've already paid for a block.
I'm not sure if my driving instructor helps. She has a brand new Fiat 500 which she teaches in, and she hates pot holes. I've went over a couple and she gets really annoyed if that happens, sometimes she even reaches for the wheel to move me out of the way.
I am also dyslexic, and sequences are a struggle for me at times. She confuses me at round abouts when it comes to leaving at certain exits, and gets annoyed when I ask her to repeat herself, or as we go round ask her which one it is.
Ah I just hate them. I don't know if it's me or if I've just been unfortunate with my instructors.
Any kind of advice would be greatly appreciated. I was thinking of contacting another instructor but it's just annoying that it would be my 4th.
Thank you
Okay, basically I'm doing driving lessons and have been since November and I absolutely hate every single one of them. I've now had 14 lessons in total and I am absolutey terrified.
I have had two instructors in the past. The first one rinsed me for my money and I didn't realise at the time because I was 19. I quit after about 9 lessons cause I ran out of money. Whilst with him, I had two vans come behind me at different times, who were absolute arses. They tailed me and kicked off in my mirror because I stalled and was taking too long. I was really scared, panicked and ended up upset. Stopped lessons with this guy as previously said and waited a year.
The next year I started up again, and again quit to lack of funds. This guy liked to throw you in the deep end which I didn't particularly like. After 3 lessons I was doing all sorts that I didn't like or feel confident doing, and he told me I'd pass in 15 lessons. Although he liked to throw his students in the deep end, he wasn't very nice. On two occasions on trying to do the correct thing, he grabbed the wheel, told me to pull over and called me stupid. I cried my eyes out and went home.
Now 2 years on, I started again and do have the funds to learn. My issue is that I am so so scared.
I opted for a female driver this time, and she's lovely, however my fear takes over and after a few lessons with her, I began to panick and had to come home twice sobbing. On both occasions was when I had made a mistake like stalling in the middle of a junction or something similar. She suggested I take kalms before my lessons to help me out.
Anyways, the kalms help to a degree, but throughout my lessons I'm constantly aware than I feel anxious, and my hands shake on the wheel. I stalled last week at some traffic lights and just panicked. My heart was racing, I wanted to cry, just wanted to run out of the car. I did drive myself home, but I was so scared. Every time I think of my lessons I feel sick. I have one tomorrow and would love to cancel it, but it's a bit late and I've already paid for a block.
I'm not sure if my driving instructor helps. She has a brand new Fiat 500 which she teaches in, and she hates pot holes. I've went over a couple and she gets really annoyed if that happens, sometimes she even reaches for the wheel to move me out of the way.
I am also dyslexic, and sequences are a struggle for me at times. She confuses me at round abouts when it comes to leaving at certain exits, and gets annoyed when I ask her to repeat herself, or as we go round ask her which one it is.
Ah I just hate them. I don't know if it's me or if I've just been unfortunate with my instructors.
Any kind of advice would be greatly appreciated. I was thinking of contacting another instructor but it's just annoying that it would be my 4th.
Thank you
Hi!
I hated driving manual cars. I had a similar problem that you have - stalling and being uncomfortable and being scared and anxious and that made me hate driving. I decided enough was enough and went with an instructor with an automatic car in January and that has really built my confidence and now I love driving. If you fear driving (and it's because you fear stalling a manual car or you can't do sequences etc) and need to/want to do it I would recommend trying an automatic out. It was what I needed, it might be what you need to! I don't know where you live but if you are in the Norwich area, XL Driving Tuition has been good for me. I'm sure you can find one in your area.
If your fear is to do with other cars being on the road or you just don't like the feel of driving then I'd still suggest trying an automatic but just be aware that it won't reduce the amount of traffic or anything like that, it will just take some of the pressure off driving a bit if you are scared about stalling etc.
Or what you may need to do if the problem is with your instructor is just to get to know her better. Tell her you're nervous and it's scary for you and if she's any good she should understand and try to make things better for you. There are countless instructors out there, you can get another one if you find you don't get on with her. Ask friends and peers who they were taught by and get details for their instructors. I wouldn't worry too much about whether the instructor is male or female. Driving does take patience and practice too - nobody gets it first time, so if you want to stick with manual then keep at it and one day you will get it. Your instructor will sometimes grab the wheel too - you have to expect things like that I'm afraid. You may not think what you are doing is dangerous, but your instructor may disagree.
Let me know whatever you choose to do. I really hope one day you find your confidence.
I hated driving manual cars. I had a similar problem that you have - stalling and being uncomfortable and being scared and anxious and that made me hate driving. I decided enough was enough and went with an instructor with an automatic car in January and that has really built my confidence and now I love driving. If you fear driving (and it's because you fear stalling a manual car or you can't do sequences etc) and need to/want to do it I would recommend trying an automatic out. It was what I needed, it might be what you need to! I don't know where you live but if you are in the Norwich area, XL Driving Tuition has been good for me. I'm sure you can find one in your area.
If your fear is to do with other cars being on the road or you just don't like the feel of driving then I'd still suggest trying an automatic but just be aware that it won't reduce the amount of traffic or anything like that, it will just take some of the pressure off driving a bit if you are scared about stalling etc.
Or what you may need to do if the problem is with your instructor is just to get to know her better. Tell her you're nervous and it's scary for you and if she's any good she should understand and try to make things better for you. There are countless instructors out there, you can get another one if you find you don't get on with her. Ask friends and peers who they were taught by and get details for their instructors. I wouldn't worry too much about whether the instructor is male or female. Driving does take patience and practice too - nobody gets it first time, so if you want to stick with manual then keep at it and one day you will get it.
Your instructor will sometimes grab the wheel too - you have to expect things like that I'm afraid. You may not think what you are doing is dangerous, but your instructor may disagree. Let me know whatever you choose to do. I really hope one day you find your confidence.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by JasonBrown2K14
Hi!
I hated driving manual cars. I had a similar problem that you have - stalling and being uncomfortable and being scared and anxious and that made me hate driving. I decided enough was enough and went with an instructor with an automatic car in January and that has really built my confidence and now I love driving. If you fear driving (and it's because you fear stalling a manual car or you can't do sequences etc) and need to/want to do it I would recommend trying an automatic out. It was what I needed, it might be what you need to! I don't know where you live but if you are in the Norwich area, XL Driving Tuition has been good for me. I'm sure you can find one in your area.
If your fear is to do with other cars being on the road or you just don't like the feel of driving then I'd still suggest trying an automatic but just be aware that it won't reduce the amount of traffic or anything like that, it will just take some of the pressure off driving a bit if you are scared about stalling etc.
Or what you may need to do if the problem is with your instructor is just to get to know her better. Tell her you're nervous and it's scary for you and if she's any good she should understand and try to make things better for you. There are countless instructors out there, you can get another one if you find you don't get on with her. Ask friends and peers who they were taught by and get details for their instructors. I wouldn't worry too much about whether the instructor is male or female. Driving does take patience and practice too - nobody gets it first time, so if you want to stick with manual then keep at it and one day you will get it. Your instructor will sometimes grab the wheel too - you have to expect things like that I'm afraid. You may not think what you are doing is dangerous, but your instructor may disagree.
Let me know whatever you choose to do. I really hope one day you find your confidence.
I hated driving manual cars. I had a similar problem that you have - stalling and being uncomfortable and being scared and anxious and that made me hate driving. I decided enough was enough and went with an instructor with an automatic car in January and that has really built my confidence and now I love driving. If you fear driving (and it's because you fear stalling a manual car or you can't do sequences etc) and need to/want to do it I would recommend trying an automatic out. It was what I needed, it might be what you need to! I don't know where you live but if you are in the Norwich area, XL Driving Tuition has been good for me. I'm sure you can find one in your area.
If your fear is to do with other cars being on the road or you just don't like the feel of driving then I'd still suggest trying an automatic but just be aware that it won't reduce the amount of traffic or anything like that, it will just take some of the pressure off driving a bit if you are scared about stalling etc.
Or what you may need to do if the problem is with your instructor is just to get to know her better. Tell her you're nervous and it's scary for you and if she's any good she should understand and try to make things better for you. There are countless instructors out there, you can get another one if you find you don't get on with her. Ask friends and peers who they were taught by and get details for their instructors. I wouldn't worry too much about whether the instructor is male or female. Driving does take patience and practice too - nobody gets it first time, so if you want to stick with manual then keep at it and one day you will get it.
Your instructor will sometimes grab the wheel too - you have to expect things like that I'm afraid. You may not think what you are doing is dangerous, but your instructor may disagree. Let me know whatever you choose to do. I really hope one day you find your confidence.
Hello! Thank you so much for your advice! I was thinking of doing automatic lessons. If you do them, can you go back and learn to drive a manual?
I'll give it ago, and I live in Liverpool, but I'll ask around the area. I just worry that I'd be wasting money to a degree. If you learn to drive a manual then you an drive an automatic. But it might raise my confidence? Ah haha, it's all so stressful!
Thank you again
Original post by Anonymous
Hello! Thank you so much for your advice! I was thinking of doing automatic lessons. If you do them, can you go back and learn to drive a manual?
I'll give it ago, and I live in Liverpool, but I'll ask around the area. I just worry that I'd be wasting money to a degree. If you learn to drive a manual then you an drive an automatic. But it might raise my confidence? Ah haha, it's all so stressful!
Thank you again
I'll give it ago, and I live in Liverpool, but I'll ask around the area. I just worry that I'd be wasting money to a degree. If you learn to drive a manual then you an drive an automatic. But it might raise my confidence? Ah haha, it's all so stressful!
Thank you again
Hi there,
If you take automatic lessons you can of course stop having them and go back to manual, however if you take your test in an automatic (like me), then you can only legally drive automatic cars. However, once you've passed in an automatic then there's nothing stopping you doing your lessons and tests again in a manual. Going automatic may be what you need to get used to the road. For me, I hated driving because I had a pathological fear of stalling but since going automatic I've really enjoyed driving and it's not something I'm scared about doing like I was in a manual. It's one of those things you have to bite the bullet and do I think.
There are limitations to going with automatic only, mainly to do with 'what if you need to drive a company car or van or somebody else's car', but if you only need to drive your own car then I don't see any issues with that. Pretty much every car you see on the roads these days is available in an automatic variety and modern automatics are reliable and economical. I've had friends who have had clutches and things go wrong with their manual cars but so far my automatic is OK (touch wood! But there's lots of factors involved in determining what goes wrong - really you get what you pay for and manual cars are not always more reliable. They're less complex to mend when they do go wrong, but they're not always more reliable).
At the end of the day do you what you need to do to get confident, whether that's passing in an automatic and maybe thinking about manual later or passing in the automatic and sticking with automatics. More and more cars are becoming available in automatic now and your automatic licence is valid for any vehicle with two pedals (an accelerator and a brake), so you can also drive semi-automatics (gearboxes that allow you to change gears manually without the need for you to manually clutch - still only two pedals!) on an automatic licence. My Fiesta is a semi-automatic, however it also has a fully automatic mode too (most semi-automatics including most of the sports cars you see with 'flappy padal' gearboxes, which are semi-automatics, do).
Before you take the plunge and go with automatic though I would maybe talk to your current instructor and just explain that you are nervous and this is a scary experience for you and see if she can do anything to help calm your nerves. If she's any good she should understand because driving a car does not come naturally to most people! We aren't born knowing how to drive or how to act on the road.
I hope this helps!
(edited 7 years ago)
i’ve just had my first ever driving lesson yesterday and i did roundabouts and drove on a dual carriage way?!? surely i shouldn’t have been doing this on my first ever time in a car?!? i feel so sensitive but i just hated every minute of it and now i don’t even want to go on my next one in case he makes me do something big again 
Original post by moooopie
i’ve just had my first ever driving lesson yesterday and i did roundabouts and drove on a dual carriage way?!? surely i shouldn’t have been doing this on my first ever time in a car?!? i feel so sensitive but i just hated every minute of it and now i don’t even want to go on my next one in case he makes me do something big again
Roundabouts on lesson 1 isn't bad, I did that. I assume your instructor had dual controls which means that they can control the car almost as well as you. My instructor told me that he could drive all around my area from the passenger seat.
Dual carriageways though, I had done at least 5 lessons by then. Maybe ask them why or tell them that you don't feel comfortable progressing quite so fast. After my first lesson I went round a car park for a few hours with my parents, then we found a really quiet area (a round ring of offices basically in a circle with no through route) and went there in the evening once everyone was home
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