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French A-level Essay help!!!!

I can't seem to get more than 28/45 for my essays when marked by my teachers, and it is making me stressed as no matter what I seem to do it never changes, has anyone got any essay tips at all?

I will link one of my essays here for reference...
energy in brittany essay.docx17.0KB
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Hopkinss
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Have a clear structure with paragraphs. start with an intro explaining what your going to talk about and have a clear strong conclusion. Apart from that your grammar and use of vocab was good (there were some mistakes). Also add more personnel points, you stated most of your personnel points near the end. Keep up the good work!!!!
Original post by Elen11
I can't seem to get more than 28/45 for my essays when marked by my teachers, and it is making me stressed as no matter what I seem to do it never changes, has anyone got any essay tips at all?

I will link one of my essays here for reference...

why have you written this essay - is it on the syllabus?
good though - I know how you feel!

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