Boyfriend has never gotten a boner

hey everyone so im just curious, if you were dating a guy who couldnt get aroused due to depression/anxiety, what would you do and would it slightly worry you

Reply 1

username2471155

Original post by Anonymous

hey everyone so im just curious, if you were dating a guy who couldnt get aroused due to depression/anxiety, what would you do and would it slightly worry you

Kind of yes

Reply 2

Namita Gurung

Guess it's just hard for him
:colone:

Spoiler

Reply 3

TreeFellOnMe

Even depressed guys can be horny as ****. He's probably too anxious for some reason, you've got to talk to him about it.

Reply 4

Hefty11

Must be getting used to you i guess

Reply 5

Cremated_Spatula

Original post by Anonymous

hey everyone so im just curious, if you were dating a guy who couldnt get aroused due to depression/anxiety, what would you do and would it slightly worry you

If he has never ever had a boner before, there must be some other medical issue causing the impotence.

Reply 6

DanteTheDoorWot

Original post by Namita Gurung

Guess it's just hard for him
:colone:

Spoiler

It's been a long time

Reply 7

Wired_1800

Original post by Anonymous

hey everyone so im just curious, if you were dating a guy who couldnt get aroused due to depression/anxiety, what would you do and would it slightly worry you

Ask him to see a Doctor as soon as possible. If he has gotten a boner before. Maybe (this may sound harsh) he does not fancy you that well or he may just be stressed.

You should try to make him relaxed. Go away or have a couple time with him to get him in the mood. If it does not happen, then call a doctor.

Good luck :smile:

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Thanks for your help
just to clarify - we are both 18 and he has gotten a boner before (having been through puberty etc lol)

but since I met him he's always been depressed and said this has given him a really low sex drive, so he rarely gets boners and can't maintain them

we've been over each others houses a few times, dating for 4 months now and he's never been sufficiently aroused :/

Reply 9

username1726117

Medical/mental health issue. Is he on medication? If so he's going to have to come off them/try a different type as by the looks of things it effects his sexual drive.

Reply 10

Namita Gurung

Original post by DanteTheDoorWot

It's been a long time

Let's not hijack this thread with puns :teehee:

Spoiler

Reply 11

DanteTheDoorWot

Original post by Namita Gurung

Let's not hijack this thread with puns :teehee:

Spoiler

I guess we can't just cum on this poor girls thread and start making jokes, she might have a bone to pick with us

Reply 12

BKS

Yeah, he should see his GP

Reply 13

TheThiefOfBagdad

Guy who can't get an erection has a gf; meanwhile, I'm alone.

The is no justice in this world.

Reply 14

EricPiphany

Original post by Anonymous

Do it anyways.

Reply 15

Namita Gurung

Original post by DanteTheDoorWot

I guess we can't just cum on this poor girls thread and start making jokes, she might have a bone to pick with us

Reply 16

minimarshmallow

Original post by Anonymous

If he takes medication and this is affecting his sex drive in a way that he isn't happy about, then he absolutely can go back to his doctor and say that it isn't working for him. Some old fashioned doctors might try and say that that's one of those side effects you should just live with because they think sex carries absolutely no importance etc. but you don't have to stick with any side effect if you think it's a deal breaker.
I took a tablet that had the side effect of possibly making it harder/impossible for women to orgasm, I didn't find out if I had that side effect because I gave it up for the other side effects like restless legs and extreme tiredness at the same time so I wanted to sleep but couldn't, but it damn well would have been a deal breaker for me.

If he's not on medication and he is struggling when he is on his own as well as with you, there may be something physical at play, and he should see his doctor about this.

If he's not on medication and he's fine on his own but too anxious with you then this could be something that you'd have to work on together, or could be a sign that his mental health needs attention in response to anxiety in general - if he trusts you and is comfortable then this anxiety shouldn't really interfere.

Reply 17

Hopefully1

I have to be honest. I have two friends that something similar to this happened to. One friend dated a guy for 8-9 mos and he just had a low sex drive. My other friend dated this guy for four years (!) and as a good Christian he wanted to respect her so they never took their relationship to the next level beyond kissing and cuddling. It turns out that both guys are gay. I am not saying this is the situation in your case but you may have to consider this. Both guys, in my friends' case, felt that they needed to be traditional and tried to follow that track. They are now both 'out' - one friends has gone on to marry someone else and my other friend isn't married but she's dated several guys since then.

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

Thanks guys for your replies

Original post by Hopefully1

I did honestly think that he was gay but after speaking to him he just seems nervous
This sounds bad but I just don't think he's ready for a relationship, sometimes he won't talk to me properly for days because of his depression