How normal is it to not use a condom when having sex?
I've never had sex before and my friend was saying how 'most guys don't like using a condom'. This is news to me.
Say, you were in a relationship and the girl was on contraception... Do most people not use a condom? Personally, I'd 100% want to use a condom simply because no contraception is 100% so I just don't want to take that risk...
I'm probably naive to think this, but I always thought the only time people didn't use a condom was when they wanted to have children. I didn't realise it was a 'thing' to not use a condom - I thought you'd use one regardless of whether the girl was taking contraception or not.
Is there a BIG difference in how it feels or something?
Say, you were in a relationship and the girl was on contraception... Do most people not use a condom? Personally, I'd 100% want to use a condom simply because no contraception is 100% so I just don't want to take that risk...
I'm probably naive to think this, but I always thought the only time people didn't use a condom was when they wanted to have children. I didn't realise it was a 'thing' to not use a condom - I thought you'd use one regardless of whether the girl was taking contraception or not.
Is there a BIG difference in how it feels or something?
I would argue that yes, most guys don't like using a condom. The reasons being;
A) Reduction in sensitivity/pleasure (more notably with circumcised males)
B) Not comfortable (either due to feeling "restricted" or because it doesn't feel natural)
C) They want to be close to their partner (literal barrier between both partner's genitals)
The decision to use a condom is up to the individuals involved. I'll throw up a few scenarios;
A couple who have been only with each-other sexually, with the female being on contraception, may be happy with the odds against pregnancy and have sex without a condom.
A monogamous, STI-tested couple may also feel the same way.
A couple may not particularly care (under the influence of drugs/drinks, arguable lack of responsibility, ignorant to the consequences etc).
Personally speaking when my ex partner did temporarily use different forms of contraception we tried intercourse without a condom on a few occassions, however the contraception made her feel unwell and we preferred the extra safeguard so we continued use of them. When we made the decision to not use them we were happy with solely relying on the contraception she was using.
Bear in mind that condoms are the only way to protect against disease, hence why they are most commonly used. Otherwise, other forms of contraception have a similar success rate to condoms. Also, bear in mind when having sex that there is no 100% way to protect against pregnancy (unless you have an operation or whatever, but I'm sure that's fairly obvious to most).
I noticed very little difference between the feeling using a condom or without, but other men claim differently. It's an individual thing.
A) Reduction in sensitivity/pleasure (more notably with circumcised males)
B) Not comfortable (either due to feeling "restricted" or because it doesn't feel natural)
C) They want to be close to their partner (literal barrier between both partner's genitals)
The decision to use a condom is up to the individuals involved. I'll throw up a few scenarios;
A couple who have been only with each-other sexually, with the female being on contraception, may be happy with the odds against pregnancy and have sex without a condom.
A monogamous, STI-tested couple may also feel the same way.
A couple may not particularly care (under the influence of drugs/drinks, arguable lack of responsibility, ignorant to the consequences etc).
Personally speaking when my ex partner did temporarily use different forms of contraception we tried intercourse without a condom on a few occassions, however the contraception made her feel unwell and we preferred the extra safeguard so we continued use of them. When we made the decision to not use them we were happy with solely relying on the contraception she was using.
Bear in mind that condoms are the only way to protect against disease, hence why they are most commonly used. Otherwise, other forms of contraception have a similar success rate to condoms. Also, bear in mind when having sex that there is no 100% way to protect against pregnancy (unless you have an operation or whatever, but I'm sure that's fairly obvious to most).
I noticed very little difference between the feeling using a condom or without, but other men claim differently. It's an individual thing.
Thanks for this, is was very informative as I find most people don't talk about this topic so it's interesting to know this sort of stuff. So thank you 
Say, two people were in a relationship and neither had any STIs and the woman was taking contraception... Then correct me if I'm wrong here, neither can get an STI? As an STI is only caught one person has it and it's passed onto the other people...?
In this case... The ONLY reasons for that couple to use a condom when a woman is on contraception is 1) lower the risk even more of the woman getting pregnant 2) the messy issue but NOT the risk of STIs as neither person has one?
Say, two people were in a relationship and neither had any STIs and the woman was taking contraception... Then correct me if I'm wrong here, neither can get an STI? As an STI is only caught one person has it and it's passed onto the other people...?
In this case... The ONLY reasons for that couple to use a condom when a woman is on contraception is 1) lower the risk even more of the woman getting pregnant 2) the messy issue but NOT the risk of STIs as neither person has one?
Yes, STIs are not magically created - one of you has to have it before the other one can catch it from them.
There are lots of reasons for using condoms. In addition to those two is that it greatly reduces the risk of STI transmission if one party has an STI but either doesn't know it or knows and thinks that there would be a problem if they were honest.
In a committed relationship where there is testing and trust, not using condoms can be very nice emotionally: it's a way of eroticising trust. (When I lost my 'without a condom' virginity years after the 'with a condom' one, it was the emotional difference that was most noticeable.)
In a more casual relationship, or where people's STI status isn't known for certain or there isn't complete trust - there are plenty of people who will lie to get the sex they want - then condoms are great.
There are lots of reasons for using condoms. In addition to those two is that it greatly reduces the risk of STI transmission if one party has an STI but either doesn't know it or knows and thinks that there would be a problem if they were honest.
In a committed relationship where there is testing and trust, not using condoms can be very nice emotionally: it's a way of eroticising trust. (When I lost my 'without a condom' virginity years after the 'with a condom' one, it was the emotional difference that was most noticeable.)
In a more casual relationship, or where people's STI status isn't known for certain or there isn't complete trust - there are plenty of people who will lie to get the sex they want - then condoms are great.
Been with partner 5 years, only been without condom once. That was based on emotional reason for me.
To be fair, I had never used a condom before him. I didn't care enough about myself to stop taking those risks. When we first started sleeping together, I thought he was the weird one for being so safety conscious! I do really appreciate his respect of me and him now though. It would have been so easy to go along with what I was saying but he cared enough to be safe.
To be fair, I had never used a condom before him. I didn't care enough about myself to stop taking those risks. When we first started sleeping together, I thought he was the weird one for being so safety conscious! I do really appreciate his respect of me and him now though. It would have been so easy to go along with what I was saying but he cared enough to be safe.
Having only ever been with one girl, I don't use them - they're not great if you want to be spontaneous and neither of us find it appealing to plan ahead for sex. However, it is always useful to keep a few if you're going out and about because you don't know what might happen, and who it might happen with
My boyfriend and I use condoms more often than not, and at the least half the time because we don't want to risk pregnancy even if I am on the pill. He has no issue using one and says he actually prefers it sometimes because if he doesn't have one he won't finish in me (which isn't as fun apparently 
).
It's a personal choice, as we prefer to use them as an extra safe guard (definitely don't have STIs) against pregnancy, but my friend and her boyfriend don't use them and just chance the risk of pregnancy, so it's all about what you two decide.
). It's a personal choice, as we prefer to use them as an extra safe guard (definitely don't have STIs) against pregnancy, but my friend and her boyfriend don't use them and just chance the risk of pregnancy, so it's all about what you two decide.
Not using a condom has everything to do with him and nothing to do with your welfare it's selfish at the end of the day... If you're not on contraception he won't be the one dealing with an early star abortion. Condom and/or other forms of contraception until you know you both definitely want babies. Always condom if you do not know the guys sexual history... His sensitivity and all that bull is much less important than you preventing yourself catching anything if he's not interests he can go and **** himself 
I've only used a condom once and that was when I came off the mini pill and started taking the combined pill (the pill takes a week to become effective, so we used a condom then).
It's a personal decision. The sexual relationships I've been in have all been monogamous. I lost my virginity without a condom (I was taking the contraceptive pill). The guy was a virgin too, so no STDs to worry about. Other guys, I've requested full STD tests (and provided my own results). Might seem over the top to some people but STDs aren't something you want, especially as some are incurable. Guys were cool with taking tests; sometimes you don't know when you have an STD (as with chlamydia). Testing is quick and easy. Switching sexual partners = STD test.
If I had a one night stand (no plans, but speaking theoretically), I would definitely use a condom because you haven't got to know them well enough, there's not enough time to get a conclusive STD test and, unfortunately, people do lie about what they have and haven't got.
Guys say that bareback feels a lot better than with a condom. As a girl, I personally feel the same way. It also feels more sexy and there's the added benefit of the guy being able to pull out quickly and come wherever I want it.
I take my pill at the same time every single day (I skip the pill-free week every month). I have an alarm on my phone to remind me. I set a reminder on my phone's calendar two weeks before I'm due to run out of pills so I can book an appointment at my local sexual health clinic and pick up more pills (I go every 18 weeks). I have never had an unplanned pregnancy - or even a pregnancy scare - since I started having sex. The combined pill is more than 99% effective when taken correctly; condoms are 98% effective. So, provided you take the pill correctly (which surprisingly a lot of girls don't), you are extremely unlikely to get pregnant. I do keep a pregnancy test in my drawer just in case. I have never once needed to use it.
Despite everything I've said, I am not against condoms. I don't hate them. I'm a firm believer in people being safe. When I go to the sexual health clinic to get my pill prescription, I get free condoms as well. You never know when you might need one (forgotten pill, antibiotics reducing effectiveness of pills, vomiting cancelling out effects of the pill, etc.)... or if somebody else might need one!
It's a personal decision. The sexual relationships I've been in have all been monogamous. I lost my virginity without a condom (I was taking the contraceptive pill). The guy was a virgin too, so no STDs to worry about. Other guys, I've requested full STD tests (and provided my own results). Might seem over the top to some people but STDs aren't something you want, especially as some are incurable. Guys were cool with taking tests; sometimes you don't know when you have an STD (as with chlamydia). Testing is quick and easy. Switching sexual partners = STD test.
If I had a one night stand (no plans, but speaking theoretically), I would definitely use a condom because you haven't got to know them well enough, there's not enough time to get a conclusive STD test and, unfortunately, people do lie about what they have and haven't got.
Guys say that bareback feels a lot better than with a condom. As a girl, I personally feel the same way. It also feels more sexy and there's the added benefit of the guy being able to pull out quickly and come wherever I want it.
I take my pill at the same time every single day (I skip the pill-free week every month). I have an alarm on my phone to remind me. I set a reminder on my phone's calendar two weeks before I'm due to run out of pills so I can book an appointment at my local sexual health clinic and pick up more pills (I go every 18 weeks). I have never had an unplanned pregnancy - or even a pregnancy scare - since I started having sex. The combined pill is more than 99% effective when taken correctly; condoms are 98% effective. So, provided you take the pill correctly (which surprisingly a lot of girls don't), you are extremely unlikely to get pregnant. I do keep a pregnancy test in my drawer just in case. I have never once needed to use it.
Despite everything I've said, I am not against condoms. I don't hate them. I'm a firm believer in people being safe. When I go to the sexual health clinic to get my pill prescription, I get free condoms as well. You never know when you might need one (forgotten pill, antibiotics reducing effectiveness of pills, vomiting cancelling out effects of the pill, etc.)... or if somebody else might need one!
[QUOTE=Little Popcorns;65049637]Not using a condom has everything to do with him and nothing to do with your welfare it's selfish at the end of the day... If you're not on contraception he won't be the one dealing with an early star abortion. Condom and/or other forms of contraception until you know you both definitely want babies. Always condom if you do not know the guys sexual history... His sensitivity and all that bull is much less important than you preventing yourself catching anything if he's not interests he can go and **** himself
OP said nothing about a bf selfishly wanting to not use a condom. And my gfs too have preferred and wanted sex without a condom once we were in an established relationship. This said I agree with you that a women has more to lose and about the sexual history - the later point cuts both ways.
OP said nothing about a bf selfishly wanting to not use a condom. And my gfs too have preferred and wanted sex without a condom once we were in an established relationship. This said I agree with you that a women has more to lose and about the sexual history - the later point cuts both ways.
It's really a myth that condoms stop spontaneity. It takes seconds to put one on. They come off if you want to finish on someone. Yeah sure there's the psychological thing about going without - girls can have that too. I've really wanted to go without condom because the idea was sexy but safety is important
I've only had sex with a condom whilst I was with my boyfriend and had to have antibiotics as they cancel out contraception and tbh, the sex was still good. It's just something extra you have to get rid of after.
It didn't ruin the mood, although it was hard to remember as we were so used to sex without one, but if we wanted sex it wasn't stopping us. I am not a fan of condoms as to me, it dulls the sensation which is hard enough to come by anyway as a girl who can only orgasm when on top, but I still managed it which is win win to me. No babies and an orgasm hooray
It didn't ruin the mood, although it was hard to remember as we were so used to sex without one, but if we wanted sex it wasn't stopping us. I am not a fan of condoms as to me, it dulls the sensation which is hard enough to come by anyway as a girl who can only orgasm when on top, but I still managed it which is win win to me. No babies and an orgasm hooray
Original post by abc101
I'm not on any contraception but I've never used condoms. We rely on the pull-out method, and he only finishes inside me if I'm on or just before/just after my period. I know it's not the most reliable method but I've never got pregnant.
Presumably you being pregnant wouldn't be the worst thing ever - different people have different attitudes to risk.
In practice, when done consistently withdrawal is about as effective as condoms. You can improve that by having better awareness of your fertility than looking at the calendar, for example by monitoring your cervical mucus and/or your temperature on waking.
My partner and I were until recently always used condoms. On holiday we decided to go without. We lost our virginity to each other. Am on the pill and we decided it was the right time for us to move forward. It has made our sex life, easier and enable as to maintain the mood. We only made the change due to us, being together for a number of years. But safety was always important to us, which why we always used condoms before but now neither of us wants to go back to them.
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If you both don't have any STD's and she is on the pill then I'd happily have sex without a condom.
I have a coil and my boyfriend and I don't use them (monogamous and neither of us have STIs). I did use them with him at the start of the relationship and with my ex as I wasn't on any contraception then. I've never had casual sex but hypothetically if I did I'd use a condom regardless of being on contraception or not. I'd say it's common to not use a condom in a relationship if the girl is on contraception and they know that neither of them have STIs.
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As a male I don't like wearing condoms, to me you do loose some of the natural feeling, but I would only ever not wear one if I was in a long term relationship and we both agreed to it. It is just not worth not wearing one otherwise.
bb all he way, the pill sorts it
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