Boyfriend Letdown
So recently I found myself my first boyfriend (honestly thought it would never happen) we'd been talking for a little before he asked me to be his girlfriend however I honestly do think we rushed things a little but we arrange for him to come up to mine and stay the weekend (never met him before, but facetimed every night) anyway he paid £50 for train tickets to come up and see me last weekend and all was well my family took him out for a meal just as a little ice breaker thing (it was cute) to my knowledge the weekend went really well dare I say it I'm gutted but he did take my virginity in ways I regret it now but in ways I'm thinking it was just experience or a learning curve, he was a very confident person which is sort of the opposite to me but maybe that would of helped me, he was talking about future situations and plans we could make in all honesty I said if he was comfortable with he idea he was more than welcome to come over 2 weekends later and come with me as a plus 1 to a wedding he seemed well up for it at the time however he got on the train to go back home at the end of the weekend (Sunday) but by Tuesday he decided he no longer wanted to be in the relationship as you can imagine I was 100% gutted especially after not being together for so long, he blamed it on the distance, said it was annoying and wasn't prepared to put the effort or work into the relationship which basically just tore me to pieces. So anyway I'm one week down the line and just want to wipe things away but needed to get things of my chest, however my question is was I the cause the relationship ending? I'm afraid I wasn't good enough for him and it was just an excuse for him to get out of the relationship quick, however I am also thinking he had the whole situation planned he was just going to come up and use me then leave anyway!! I just don't really know what to do with myself its forever on my mind and I just want it forgotten :/
Thankyouu, it's nice to hear others point of view!! I do think he just used me tbf but it's in the past now id change it if i could. Thankyouu for you input 
X
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X Posted from TSR Mobile
Wow....I am so sorry that happened to you. No, you did not do anything wrong that caused him to move on. As the previous poster said long distance dating can be too much effort for some people.
You don't say how old you are or how you met this guy so that you were facetiming with him. (You're family sounds very kind to taking him to dinner - all very appropriate). I am going to guess you're still rather young. I want to say to you that you did nothing wrong and you showed him kindness and nice hospitality. However, it is unfortunate that you gave up your virginity. But, it is not the end of the world. I like that you feel that you can chalk it up to life experience because that is what is was. Just that simple. Your next experience will still be very special. Going forward I'd suggest you have an understanding that you're in a relationship w/ the guy before sleeping with him. It will save a lot of regret later - and misunderstanding. Definitely go on a few dates with the guy before getting so intimate again to prevent regret and misunderstanding. Well that is my opinion.
I guess no one but that guy will know the reason he changed his mind, whether it was for premeditated sex or if it legitimately was the distance. Don't let it keep you down though. Move on, be confident, and learn from this experience. Good Luck.
You don't say how old you are or how you met this guy so that you were facetiming with him. (You're family sounds very kind to taking him to dinner - all very appropriate). I am going to guess you're still rather young. I want to say to you that you did nothing wrong and you showed him kindness and nice hospitality. However, it is unfortunate that you gave up your virginity. But, it is not the end of the world. I like that you feel that you can chalk it up to life experience because that is what is was. Just that simple. Your next experience will still be very special. Going forward I'd suggest you have an understanding that you're in a relationship w/ the guy before sleeping with him. It will save a lot of regret later - and misunderstanding. Definitely go on a few dates with the guy before getting so intimate again to prevent regret and misunderstanding. Well that is my opinion.
I guess no one but that guy will know the reason he changed his mind, whether it was for premeditated sex or if it legitimately was the distance. Don't let it keep you down though. Move on, be confident, and learn from this experience. Good Luck.
Original post by Hopefully1
Wow....I am so sorry that happened to you. No, you did not do anything wrong that caused him to move on. As the previous poster said long distance dating can be too much effort for some people.
You don't say how old you are or how you met this guy so that you were facetiming with him. (You're family sounds very kind to taking him to dinner - all very appropriate). I am going to guess you're still rather young. I want to say to you that you did nothing wrong and you showed him kindness and nice hospitality. However, it is unfortunate that you gave up your virginity. But, it is not the end of the world. I like that you feel that you can chalk it up to life experience because that is what is was. Just that simple. Your next experience will still be very special. Going forward I'd suggest you have an understanding that you're in a relationship w/ the guy before sleeping with him. It will save a lot of regret later - and misunderstanding. Definitely go on a few dates with the guy before getting so intimate again to prevent regret and misunderstanding. Well that is my opinion.
I guess no one but that guy will know the reason he changed his mind, whether it was for premeditated sex or if it legitimately was the distance. Don't let it keep you down though. Move on, be confident, and learn from this experience. Good Luck.
You don't say how old you are or how you met this guy so that you were facetiming with him. (You're family sounds very kind to taking him to dinner - all very appropriate). I am going to guess you're still rather young. I want to say to you that you did nothing wrong and you showed him kindness and nice hospitality. However, it is unfortunate that you gave up your virginity. But, it is not the end of the world. I like that you feel that you can chalk it up to life experience because that is what is was. Just that simple. Your next experience will still be very special. Going forward I'd suggest you have an understanding that you're in a relationship w/ the guy before sleeping with him. It will save a lot of regret later - and misunderstanding. Definitely go on a few dates with the guy before getting so intimate again to prevent regret and misunderstanding. Well that is my opinion.
I guess no one but that guy will know the reason he changed his mind, whether it was for premeditated sex or if it legitimately was the distance. Don't let it keep you down though. Move on, be confident, and learn from this experience. Good Luck.
Hey, thankyouu for the total honestly it's nice to hear other people's point of view I understand it was wrong the way things went but all I am say is it was a learning curve because there is nothing else I am do. It's hard to believe the situation thinking back on it because i'm the type of person that believes there isn't anyone out there for me but what's happened has happened and sadly I can't changed that however I really appreciate your input.
Thankyouu 🙂X
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I don't think you were at fault at any point. From a guy's point of view, I definitely think he was just out to get free sex and took advantage of your inexperience as a result. He used the whole "relationship" ploy as bait and as you can guess, you fell for it. You're not the first so don't worry about it too much, honestly could have ended up much worse. The fact that he cut things off so quickly just gives it all away really and just shows that he wasn't really interested in keeping things going in the first place.
Best bet to is get to know the guy a bit more next time before, taking it slow is always best if you're uncertain but also remember to be direct with your intentions. If you think it's going a bit too fast next time, be sure to be vocal and say that you want things to slow down.
On a more positive note, treat this as valuable experience and be sure to keep a lookout for guys like him in the future. Try engaging in other activities, hobbies or just going out for a run will help break the inertia after a mistake like this and will get you back on your feet in no time!
Just remember that there are always plenty better guys that are out there and you just have to know where to look.
Best of luck
Best bet to is get to know the guy a bit more next time before, taking it slow is always best if you're uncertain but also remember to be direct with your intentions. If you think it's going a bit too fast next time, be sure to be vocal and say that you want things to slow down.
On a more positive note, treat this as valuable experience and be sure to keep a lookout for guys like him in the future. Try engaging in other activities, hobbies or just going out for a run will help break the inertia after a mistake like this and will get you back on your feet in no time!
Just remember that there are always plenty better guys that are out there and you just have to know where to look.
Best of luck
Hey it sucks and you sound as though youve thopugh about it and responded quite well.
I probably wouldnt have slept with him so quickly and that way its easier to guage what he is like irl. Nothing wrong with it though, personal choice, but it can cloud matters.
Hard to say whether he planned it all along, he just might be a very flakey person. If he wasnt prepared to do the journey then what was he thinking all that time. It might not seem like it, but he did you a favour showing his cards so early. Youve also learnt a few lessons, that you can use in future. Dont let it put you off it was him not you. He wasnt good enough for you.
I probably wouldnt have slept with him so quickly and that way its easier to guage what he is like irl. Nothing wrong with it though, personal choice, but it can cloud matters.
Hard to say whether he planned it all along, he just might be a very flakey person. If he wasnt prepared to do the journey then what was he thinking all that time. It might not seem like it, but he did you a favour showing his cards so early. Youve also learnt a few lessons, that you can use in future. Dont let it put you off it was him not you. He wasnt good enough for you.
Original post by -Katee-
Hey, thankyouu for the total honestly it's nice to hear other people's point of view I understand it was wrong the way things went but all I am say is it was a learning curve because there is nothing else I am do. It's hard to believe the situation thinking back on it because i'm the type of person that believes there isn't anyone out there for me but what's happened has happened and sadly I can't changed that however I really appreciate your input.
Thankyouu 🙂X
Posted from TSR Mobile
Thankyouu 🙂X
Posted from TSR Mobile
You're not anonymously.....
It can be a problem LDR but you gave your virginity away on first night. Hate to say it but he may just have been after that. It's not the end of the world, afterall at the time you had fun, I suppose that's a litte comforting, but you learn.
In future just be more cautious, sime lads are one track minded.
You did nothing wrong.
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hey how are are you? not to be blunt but are you sure he didn't just kind of use you for sex? Its good that you look at it in a positive light I suppose
Original post by -Katee-
Thankyouu 🙂X
I was totally honest in my first response and I am going to be totally honest here too. You have been through a lot and you trusted someone who didn't deserve your trust. I wish this was a unique situation but, sadly,it does happens and I'm not downplaying what happened to you at all. But...when you said, "
"i'm the type of person that believes there isn't anyone out there for me".... that simply isn't true!!!
Please don't believe that! Dating is hard and it is hard to find 'the right one' but when you don't believe there is anyone out there for you it send the signal that you don't feel worthy. You are worthy and you do deserve to find your special someone!! You have to believe that!! You are more apt to attract the wrong person with that belief as well. You will present yourself as someone down on herself and that opens the door for others to take advantage of you. Don't give into negative thinking!! You deserve to be treated well, with respect and I think you will find that. But before you'll ever find someone who respects and values you, YOU have to have respect and value for YOURSELF!! You deserve a wonderful, kind, loving guy! Believe it and treat yourself like you believe it! It may take a while but I think it will all work out for you. Again, I'm sorry you had to go through that disappointment.
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