You're in the safe as long as you don't feel Islam isn't for you, OP.
Most of us teens go through this phase, asthaghfirullah rn I am too, and my ex starting to question islam didn't help me a lot either.
We all sin, none of us are perfect. You don't have to refrain from music altogether, as your adolescent feelings will make you want to escape this world, live in a fantasy, etc, and music is an easy route to forget about this world. It feels nice, but hs i just realised its exactly what Islam warned us about lmao, straying from the truth.
I'm finding it hard to pray regularly too, so does my brother and my nephews, but the ladies in our household pray without leaving a single wakt and sometimes its so inspiring it makes you pray too.
And ramadan - it's not about starving, it's about staying away from entertainment - so music is a no-no. I'm not sure if listening to it would invalidate your saum, but it surely would reduce its value. Start praying now, at least make an effort.
Most important thing to remember is this is fitnah. I may some dumb to some people but its shaytaan giving you doubts. Please don't fall for this, become "enlightened" like some of my friends in the UK and attain the state of atheism. Some people think they know everything but they don't, it's best leaving the truth to the maker, no?
Please don't fall for fitnah. This is new-age fitnah.
This is a sign of weak imaan. You questioning, it's because you are straying away from your prayers sister. If you actively make an effort to pray, at least ask someone to aggressively remind you to pray, and pray for a few weeks it would become a habit.
There is no use asking other humans. We are all imperfect. Lay down in sujud and cry to Allah. There really is something very calming about that...
In sha allah, if you regain your strength in Imaan, it would help you avoid these questions. And it will help you regain your emotional strength too. you're broken!
Islam has all the answers. When we feel like there is something missing, we just need to look further. We probably never will understand everything in this lifetime, us being such short lived people, but it's there - the truth.
It's really inspiring to see your attitude in your environment. I understand what you mean by "want to be a good muslim, not want to be seen as a good muslim" - I've noticed that doing good deeds and doing prayer alone, and not for attention, like in places where nobody will see you, would help a lot to get rid of that feeling. You need to be confident in yourself that you are a good muslim - you really shouldn't care what the rest of the world thinks, because that is worldly, after all.
Oh and - include me in your duas. I don't want to lose the rest of my Imaan either. I keep forgetting to pray, I just remembered. Going for isha now thx kbye
Please don't look to start arguments with me for the things I've said. They're my beliefs, and I would love if the internet would start to respect my beliefs too without trying to attack it at every possible opportunity. You guys respect people with frankly weird opinions, so why not theists and muslims?
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