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My girlfriend acts like a child and its so unattractive

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Reply 40

Kwame502

Original post by Mrs.Grey

It is pretty funny since his gf thinks it's attractive to act like a child like what on earth...

Hey, it's got to be someone's fetish lol

Reply 41

Mrs.Grey

Original post by kwame502

hey, it's got to be someone's fetish lol

lmao what if she has daddy issues???

Reply 42

somemightsay888

OP for real this is relevant, does she watch anime?
Is your GF Asian?
Is she trying to be kawaii?

It sounds like I'm taking the piss here but fr, she's acting like an anime girl. Anime is the problem.

Reply 43

Missimperfect18

Original post by Anonymous

She acts like a five year old, presumably because she thinks its cute and ill like it. But I really dont, it makes me feel like a pedo and a babysitter and its soo uncomfortable. Even worse, shes losing a lot weight and starting to actually look like a kid and honestly I am very unattracted to her now.

sad thing is, it's not like this is how she is and I have to "accept" her or leave, we've been together a year now and shes started this new persona like 3 months ago and I just dealt with it. So really shes the one thats changed, Im guessing it's because shes more comfortable because we've been together a while.

She used to be so womanly and have such a powerful presence - which is why I went crazy for her in the first place and pursued her. And even now with other people she's confident and womanly but to me she acts like a five year old.

she basically puts on a child like voice and like mumbles and says random stuff and goes 'oooh im so sorry im weird teheheheehe' and you should get the picture by now. I just find it so fake and weird and I already have a baby sister I dont need another weird kid in my life right now.

I just feel like screaming to her 'stop it its not cute' But I have no idea how to communicate that to her without her getting upset offended and self concious.

please please can somebody help me, this is ruining what was once an amazing relationship. I still love her but shes really pushing me away.

the problem is many girls do that the fact that she might want to be different with you the girl who acts tough and womanly may want someone to tell her it's all right... that you are here whenever she needs and sometimes just need to be told that what they are doing is making it a negative impact to the relationship...and the fact her weight loss is unattractive some girls think they are fat and their bf's find that unattractive tell her how you feel trust me I AM SURE SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE...
you see if you confront her and tell her what exactly made you fall for her, mad about her might make her understand how you feel...perhaps she would understand or perhaps make it easier for you to make a decision...
bottling up would just lead to you exploding at the wrong time...
and the fact you don't want to hurt her means you really adore this girl and I am sure it will hurt her more when you tell her late and you both will lose all chances to hear eachother out because you'd end up saying something harsh and things will end...in a harsh and cold note whereas now you can solve things I am sure you'll get the girl you loved back....

Reply 44

Kwame502

Original post by somemightsay888

Anime is never the problem!
Well, maybe this once...

Reply 45

OGGUS

I think she thinks your her sugar daddy or something or she has a dirty fetish...

Reply 46

Betelgeuse-

Send her to the naughty step until she learns to be an adult?

Reply 47

Missimperfect18

Original post by penelopecrux

Slap her in the face and say stop. She ought to get the memo this way.

All I know is strength of your attitude describes how strong you are as a man
you don't deserve women if you don't know how to treat one.....

Reply 48

Yua

Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes

Yeah tbh I think it is daddy issues too...

Like she may see OP as a protective figure, and herself in a more vulnerable, child like fashion but of course she isn't a child so she enhances by using childish voices and maybe it could also be a reason for her weightloss, she may want to be smaller and more child like even if she doesn't say it out loud, I think it is subconscious.

A lack of a father figure during childhood may have lead to a gap in her emotions that she needs to fill, so she lets op 'play daddy' whilst acting like the daughter. Like you said, it must be subconscious because I highly doubt she is purposefully playing the role of a young daughter.

Reply 49

Anonymous #1

Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes

Original post by somemightsay888

No she doesnt know anything about anime and thank god for that, I hate anime.

Hey thats probably why i dont like the child like behaviour, cus it makes me think of that cringey Kawaii stuff lol

Reply 50

Anonymous #1

Original post by Twinpeaks

Psychological research does often suggest that over the course of evolution we've co-opted our adult pair bonding mechanisms from our care giver- child pair bonding. There's a big neural overlap, and many behavioural similarities between mother-child pair bonding and adult pair bonding, in terms of need to care for one another, close contact and even talking childlike sometimes, such as giving cute nicknames. So in a way there are similarities, but some are worse than others. My older sister and boyfriend tend to talk babyish to eachother sometimes. Her boyfriend is a very serious chemical engineer and I've seen him talk in baby speak.

I think it might be a lot more common than you think. And whilst some men might not be bothered by it, may even like it, it just doesn't work for you. You should try communication this with her, but if it comes really natural to her, it would be quite hard for her to change. She might end up feeling she can't be herself around you.

How do you react when she behaves like that?

I usually stay quiet or avoid being receptive to it, e.g not acting baby like back. Ive been doing this for a while hoping she'd kind of get the hint but she doesnt :frown:

Original post by Yua

Not sure why nobody is addressing this, the only right answer.

well it cant be the right answer because as I said she comes from a super healthy nuclear family.

Reply 51

penelopecrux

Original post by Missimperfect18

All I know is strength of your attitude describes how strong you are as a man
you don't deserve women if you don't know how to treat one.....

I'M A GIRL!!!! I hit my bf in a jokey way, chill yourself.

Reply 52

Yua

Original post by Anonymous

I usually stay quiet or avoid being receptive to it, e.g not acting baby like back. Ive been doing this for a while hoping she'd kind of get the hint but she doesnt :frown:

well it cant be the right answer because as I said she comes from a super healthy nuclear family.

you can't be very healthy if you're around radiation

Reply 53

Athy_Obelia

Original post by Anonymous

if she really loves you, even if she gets upset, she'll definitely take your view into account and act normally.
I'm sure she loves you anyway, if i was a boy and had a girlfriend, I would say it confidently to her.
I hope your relationship continues further into the future!

Reply 54

Anonymous #1

Original post by Yua

you can't be very healthy if you're around radiation

thats as TSR as a joke can get

Reply 55

TheonlyMrsHolmes

I just came back to this because a thought popped into my head.

You said she is "Losing a lot of weight". Did she need too? It could be a side effect of an eating disorder, or just disordered eating patterns. This is common among people with ED's.

I learnt this when I saw this documentary a couple of years back, like look at her child-like behaviour towards her boyfriend!

https://youtu.be/UY5Y5rsUs60?list=PL2BF2D5C9C288082F&t=168

It is an actual thing, look it up for more info.

Reply 56

Missimperfect18

Original post by penelopecrux

I'M A GIRL!!!! I hit my bf in a jokey way, chill yourself.

perhaps you are unaware of the stats of women undergoing such torment of abuse and physically abusing someone and ,tapping as a joke there is a difference I hope you understand...and comparing this to your scenario is odd I hope nothing of that sort ever happens to YOU or any other girl or boy its bad both ways...

Reply 57

penelopecrux

Original post by Missimperfect18

of course, I'm absolutely aware of that, it is horrible.

Reply 58

Antilope.Juice

Hi,
I actually have a lot of experience with research concerning child-like behaviour in relationships and relationships in general. being a woman myself having studied phychology, I think I can help you out.

1) why everyone's talking about "daddy issues"? there is a huge misconception about this topic and basically 'daddy issues' is referring to the fetish whereby the female lacks a father figure and uses their partner as a substitute.
You do not have to have 'daddy issues' to have a 'daddy fetish'; there are a lot of girls who have this fetish due to the fact they like the 'Dom/Sub fetish' (which the majority of women like, it's in our genes) whereby the male is always dominant to the female during sex. this may have branched off and created this new 'daddy fetish' in your girlfriend which then creeped into everyday to day lifestyles with you and her.
This may or may not be the case with your girlfriend but is a VERY common cause.

however she may just want to be cute because she wants to be presented or expressed that way to you now.
or she's grown more comfortable with expressing her true-self and now she's showing it to you.
or another reason, which I think MAY be the underlying cause, rather than the "daddy fetish", leading me to..

2) identity crisis
when someone can't define who they are because they have been told otherwise or they have been triggered someday which leads to an alter in their persona. this may have happened to your girlfriend whereby when you told her you love your sister a lot more she was 'triggered' by this as a result, causing her to act more like a child to solve that problem where she thinks you don't love her enough.

my conclusion, what I think you should do, and questions to ask to further help you:
As I said before, I think she's going through an identity crisis, I have had my own experience with this where I had trouble understanding who I was and changed my persona to fit what I thought was best to impress. this is the same situation with your girlfriends where she's having trouble understanding why you don't love her enough and that's why she's changed her persona to fit what you think is an 'ideal girlfriend'; to match your preferences basically.
I think you should text her after exams (good time to tell her) and tell her you've noticed her change over the 3 months. now, when you put a woman through a situation like this by texting her all this, she will inevitably be sad of course but to solve this you have to understand women don't want you to make the situation better by attempting to change her perception, they want you to solve it! to solve it, you gotta say this in short: • say you've noticed the change • tell her you love her a lot still but you don't want this to ruin it all • tell her you don't know if this is to do with the fact you said your sister was better, but family love and relationship love is completely different and just because you love your sister unconditionally, it doesn't mean you don't love her more than anything and would do anything to prevent breaking up (you may not believe this but this will sure get to her heart) • DONT tell her you don't like the whole child-like persona, tell her you feel "a little uncomfortable" and you just miss the way she was before • don't make it sound like she can't change her ways. compliment her, tell her "I know you're a strong woman that has an incredibly bright personality and a stunning appearance, you always are, so why the change? :frown:

" the "are" is incredibly important because it implies she still is the person you love and her old-self is still down there somewhere and she can easily return. additional emoticons " :frown:

" are really useful because it gives a visual portray of how you're feeling and I know that sounds really unprofessional and obvious but people underestimate their effect on others, it differs an sad person from a blank person who doesn't care.
• tell her you have concerns for her health because you truly care and love her and she needs to eat properly as its noticeable and worrying to you.
affection is incredibly important because you don't want to ever sound like this situation can't be solved. overwhelming love is always the key to a future long duration relationship together in the hard-times.
questions:
does she act cute with you in bed? this may be evidence to the fact she likes daddy fetishes if not an identity crisis
how old is she? identity crisis' are most commonly in people aged 11-20