please mark this! thanks

It is OK but you've missed the points for some bits, do you want me to PM you my A* response for q4 that my teacher marked? Just so you can get an idea for what to write

It is OK but you've missed the points for some bits, do you want me to PM you my A* response for q4 that my teacher marked? Just so you can get an idea for what to write

Hi this is the English language AQA November 2015 paper, can somebody please mark this question 4 response below and give me some tips thank-you

In the 3rd text “Gorilla track” the headline sets the tone of the piece straight away. The tone is fast paced, exciting and scary. Similarly the headline of the source 2 (Pandering to the crowd” also sets the tone - a light hearted, humorous tone. Two completely different tones but both established by the language used.
In the first sentence in source 2 by using humour “Hopes that tiny panda paws would be seen in the world’s first live-broadcast cub delivery have been dashed after Chinese experts suggested the ‘mother’ may have been focusing more on extra bun rations than giving birth” the writer creates a light hearted comedic effect. However, in source 3, using the sophisticated vocabulary in the first sentence “The sun begins to rise pink and gold and resolute over the lush green hillsides of Uganda” the writer creates an intriguing effect, due to the writer making simple things such as the sun sound exciting and complex.
Language is used for effect throughout the rest of both pieces. Source 2 has a more mainstream audience due to it being in a newspaper. This means that the language has to be appropriate for the audience with more simplistic vocabulary and not a large array of technical vocabulary. This is presented throughout the article with the only technical vocabulary being “phantom pregnancy” By using simple vocabulary the reader can understand the article much more. By the term “phantom pregnancy” being explained; the contents of the article are less complex for the reader to comprehend.
However, source 3 uses much more technical vocabulary, mostly used in describing the animals. The language is different because this is taken from a story and people reading this have probably got understanding of the animals being described in it.
Another example of language used for effect is when katherine uses a short sentence to convey the fast paced scenario that they encountered “The gorilla moves forward” By using a short sentence, the intensity of the situation is increased and introduces suspense allowing the reader to feel similar emotions as the person experiencing it.
Finally, source 2 uses facts to add purpose to the article. This is shown where it says “Six-year-old Ai Hin showed reduced appetite, less mobility and a surge in hormones when her ‘pregnancy’ was first detected, the news agency said, before further observations concluded it was fake” the article was about ali hins pregnancy and by actually stating what happened to her the article is reaching its purpose
In conclusion, I think that in source 3, the writer's vocabulary is technical with complex language devices to match the target audience of the story. Whereas, source 2’s vocabulary and language is simplistic due to its target audience being a newspaper which its readers are of different ages with different comprehension abilities.