Weird relationship with my teacher??

Original post by Anonymous

If the student is under 18 surely this is more serious for him to be making inappropriate comments?

It's illegal no matter the age of the student. Of course it is unacceptable if the student is under eighteen. It is also unacceptable if the student is over eighteen. It is illegal no matter the ages of the people involved.

Reply 24

Original post by Fenice

I'm not sure this is correct actually. I think the situation changes once the student turns 18. I think as a mod advising young people you should be informed of the facts so I am tagging someone who knows what they're talking about here to clarify.

the student clearly isn't over eighteen (or if they are, they are incredibly naive) and even though I may be wrong about it being illegal, it is against policy in almost all institutions in the country, as outlined by the website below.

https://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/AskSam/School/Stress/Pages/Why-would-a-teacher-lose-their-job-of-they-had-an-affair-with-a-student.aspx

Therefore the teacher could lose their job and be unable to teach in any future institution.

Reply 25

steffparker0506

1

Original post by Anonymous

Its so embarrassing typing this.

Basically, today he asked me a question and then he went on to tap my hair like i am a dog.

Also he sometimes asked inappropriate questions which i think are personal to be discussed in front of the whole class.

Its just really wierd.

You need to report him
ASAP, anything that's marking you feel uneasy or creeped out needs to be reported, especially if it's by your teacher.

Reply 26

nulli tertius

Original post by georgiaswift

the student clearly isn't over eighteen (or if they are, they are incredibly naive) and even though I may be wrong about it being illegal, it is against policy in almost all institutions in the country, as outlined by the website below.

https://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/AskSam/School/Stress/Pages/Why-would-a-teacher-lose-their-job-of-they-had-an-affair-with-a-student.aspx

Therefore the teacher could lose their job and be unable to teach in any future institution.

It certainly is not a criminal offence once the young person is 18 unless there is a mental capacity issue to bring the young person within the safeguarding vulnerable adults regime.

Institutional policies vary. Many institutions have no policy at all either because they simply haven't addressed an issue that has not yet really arisen for them or because they cannot face the complexities of different circumstances. Institutions with a clearly defined young age group for their student body are much more likely to have complete "no fraternisation" policies. Other institutions impose reporting obligations on the staff member. Yet others have what amount to "go easy, and don't make someone uncomfortable" policies.

Most people would feel uneasy about the 35 year old VIth form teacher making a play for a barely 18 year old girl. They would feel much less uneasy about the 23 year old PhD student and part-time lecturer going out clubbing with the 19 year old second year undergraduate. They would think the world had lost a grip on reality if there was a problem with the 45 year old evening class language student inviting his 40 year old tutor out to dinner.

It is fairly difficult for disciplinary action or a professional conduct charge to be brought in the absence of a clear policy.

Reply 27

AmazingArry

Oh dear... no it isn't inappropriate. Physical contact below the shoulders is classed as inappropriate unless necessary e.g. a fight, first aid etc. A pat on the head, shoulder, a high five, a poke on the shoulder to tell you to move. Completely fine. Unless your teacher is feeling your leg up on purpose or makes any sexual advances, then you've got nothing to worry about. Not every teacher is a perve and you could destroy their career by just making the complaint even if it's got no grounds or theirs lack of evidence. Don't blow things out of proportion, you could damage so much if it isn't actually true, that teacher will never stop being watched and the school will dehumanise them. Not to mention the dreaded rumour mill. There's teachers are there to give you the opportunity at a better quality of Lillie in the future. Stop looking for trouble where there is none and study hard so you can get somewhere.

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Reply 28

AmazingArry

Original post by AmazingArry

Oh dear... no it isn't inappropriate. Physical contact below the shoulders is classed as inappropriate unless necessary e.g. a fight, first aid etc. A pat on the head, shoulder, a high five, a poke on the shoulder to tell you to move. Completely fine. Unless your teacher is feeling your leg up on purpose or makes any sexual advances, then you've got nothing to worry about. Not every teacher is a perve and you could destroy their career by just making the complaint even if it's got no grounds or theirs lack of evidence. Don't blow things out of proportion, you could damage so much if it isn't actually true, that teacher will never stop being watched and the school will dehumanise them. Not to mention the dreaded rumour mill. There's teachers are there to give you the opportunity at a better quality of Lillie in the future. Stop looking for trouble where there is none and study hard so you can get somewhere.

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*life ffs

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Reply 29

Danny the Geezer

Original post by Passion Fruit

Nobody has the right to put their hands on you.

Report him to the school :smile:

Oh please.

I "hate" being touched but people do it all the time in a friendly way, like putting their hand on your back or patting your shoulder-there's nothing in it tbh.

Reply 30

Little Popcorns

Original post by JavaScriptMaster

This thread is...

Spoiler

You're clearly the teacher then

Reply 31

tnk191

14

Well I hug my female teachers like my head of year and tutor. They were happy got me coz i won something and hugged me. I didnt feel creeped out...it was nice..

However depending on questions he might just be a weird question asker who's a bit random , and that's not an offence, just makes him an odd man....

If he pats OP on head, just tell him sir don't mess my hair up or sometnong and it's a gentle reminder to A. Stop and B. Stop I don't like it. Without putting his career in danger.

To me, He doesn't seem like a creep, he's just probably an awkward Guy, that happens.

I'd say it'd be brutal and cruel to report him on something, it's quite insubstantial.

Then again, I'm not you OP, the situation may be worse than you describe it.

Reply 32

Twinpeaks

18

He tapped you on the head...

You're being ridiculous.

Reply 33

Twinpeaks

18

The reactions in this thread to a tap on the head is concerning.

Reply 34

Reue

20

Original post by georgiaswift

Completely irrelevant. Anything between a student and a teacher is illegal, no matter the age gap, as the teacher is in a position of power over the student.

Unbelievable overreaction

Reply 35

Original post by Reue

Unbelievable overreaction

Apologies if I caused a misunderstanding - I meant anything sexual. Nothing wrong with a tap on the head but I think sexual activity between a teacher and a student is wrong. Once the student has graduated they're free to do what they like, but many schools have policies that would/could cause the teacher to lose their job

Reply 36

Elivercury

Original post by georgiaswift

Apologies if I caused a misunderstanding - I meant anything sexual. Nothing wrong with a tap on the head but I think sexual activity between a teacher and a student is wrong. Once the student has graduated they're free to do what they like, but many schools have policies that would/could cause the teacher to lose their job

Glad you clarified that, because suggesting that you should try to get a teacher reported/sacked over a pat on the head and a few oddball non-sexual questions is rather extreme.

I think everyone would agree that inappropriate/sexual interaction with someone under 18 (and anyone in your charge over 18) is something that should be immediately reported to the school and possibly the police.

Reply 37

Original post by Elivercury

Glad you clarified that, because suggesting that you should try to get a teacher reported/sacked over a pat on the head and a few oddball non-sexual questions is rather extreme.

I think everyone would agree that inappropriate/sexual interaction with someone under 18 (and anyone in your charge over 18) is something that should be immediately reported to the school and possibly the police.

Yep, I completely agree. A pat on the head isn't sexual at all, and trying to get a teacher sacked for that is ridiculous. If the op is really that uncomfortable then they could talk to the teacher and explain that they don't like physical contact.

I think that if someone is responsible for another person (teacher, guardian etc) then sexual contact is inappropriate, even if they are over 18.

Reply 38

Elivercury

Original post by georgiaswift

Yep, I completely agree. A pat on the head isn't sexual at all, and trying to get a teacher sacked for that is ridiculous. If the op is really that uncomfortable then they could talk to the teacher and explain that they don't like physical contact.

I think that if someone is responsible for another person (teacher, guardian etc) then sexual contact is inappropriate, even if they are over 18.

Agreed, it is, and most/all institutions of learning (including university) will frown heavily on it and it will be a sackable offense. Although it isn't illegal.

Reply 39

nulli tertius