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Muslim girl who wants to stay at uni

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You'll go further in life living at a good uni than staying at home to commute to and from a bad one. Even if it's close, the journey is just an added burden and time that could be spent working. Unless your parents are paying for your tuition, I don't think they get a say in where you live, it's your future not theirs and they need to understand and accept that.
[QUOTE=Anonymous;65859201 How would I find a Muslim
Girl house??

The thing is for my course as well there are no good unis close by, the ones that are good have ridiculously high grades which I won't get, so if I move I'll get more choice



Does it have to be a muslim girl house?

I mean what's wrong with Christian girl's or Atheist girls?

Don't segregate yourself, life's bigger than that.
Original post by Anonymous
How would I find a Muslim
Girl house??

The thing is for my course as well there are no good unis close by, the ones that are good have ridiculously high grades which I won't get, so if I move I'll get more choice


Make a couple Muslim friends. Get a house with them (if you all decide live out). Your parents may feel more at ease with that.

Work hard, do your best and maybe you will get those grades. Look for local uni access schemes which lower the grade requirement for some (local) students etc...
Original post by SeanFM
Harsh for a few reasons.

OP is in a difficult situation where you can't apply logic or really win or get out of it.

You're one of the luckier ones that have okay parents. She is not, and is most likely looking for advice from someone who has been in a similar situation.

Okay, stereotyping is wrong but I don't think that is what the OP is trying to do.

It is sad that people have to live like this in the 21st century, but a teenager who doesn't know of a life differen to that will feel very restricted and lost and helpless, so I think it's worth seeking advice. A shame it can often be difficult to do due to 'culture' and communities and religion and all of that stuff.


Thank you yes your right, I'm really unsure what to do because uni will also be good for my personal development
Where I live there is not enough room and peace and quiet for me to work, in addition it brings bad memories for me from before my parents separated , I tried to explain these things to my mum but she doesn't understand
Original post by Calmness
Does it have to be a muslim girl house?

I mean what's wrong with Christian girl's or Atheist girls?

Don't segregate yourself, life's bigger than that.


A lot of non-Muslims bring alcohol, haram meat, their girlfriends/boyfriends (for the odd night) into the house etc...

Way less hassle (and better for religious reasons) to keep to housemates who are Muslim because we are similar.
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Why do some Asian parents distrust their kids so much, is there a high incidence of drug taking, drunkenness, promiscuity, criminal activity or anti-social behavior amongst Asian kids?
Original post by Seleukidai
Make a couple Muslim friends. Get a house with them (if you all decide live out). Your parents may feel more at ease with that.

Work hard, do your best and maybe you will get those grades. Look for local uni access schemes which lower the grade requirement for some (local) students etc...


I think it's too late now for me to get good grades
Also the UNIs that I want to go to are the other side of the U.K. So I can't travel there everyday for first year
Lol it's not as simple as "Do what you want!" Smh.

Your parents aren't evil. These racial/religious stereotypes are getting annoying. They obviously care enough to do this but I'm not saying you shouldn't talk to them.
Firstly, I'm really sad to see some of the aggressive replies on here. PLEASE Don't let that put you off asking for help and advice.

Can you speak to someone at the uni? Or do you have a previous teacher/tutor you contact?

You may have to make some very tough decisions about doing what you want versus what your parents want you to do. Bearing in mind what you said about the phone, I think if you feel able to, it would be a good idea to try and speak to an organisation aimed at helping women in your family life situation (have a Google, you can call and speak in confidence and I'm sure you wouldn't even need to leave your name etc)

could you try and get your parents to go to the uni and look round? Could you study at uni but stay living at home?

Fundamentally, you have to make this about want and I know that must seem so easy for me to say when I'm not in your shoes.

Please take care and be careful, I hope you can find a way to study and keep your family happy but there is no shame in wanting to make yourself the best you can be through education.

If you speak to the uni they may be able to advise of ways to support you with/without your family.
Original post by Seleukidai
A lot of non-Muslims bring alcohol, haram meat, their girlfriends/boyfriends (for the odd night) into the house etc...

Way less hassle (and better for religious reasons) to keep to housemates who are Muslim because we are similar.




I know muslims who do the same thing, even worse.

Like I said, I have a friend from Saudi Arabia, a muslim girl and she drinks curses and sleeps around like it's nothing.

No one is perfect and not everyone is the way you think they are.
Original post by loveleest
Aww poor Mummy. Rebel and tell her you are an adult and you will do whatever you want. You are not a baby anymore, you make grown up decisions yourself.

The issue is that she still relies on Mummy's money.

Original post by Calmness
Hey, I'm pretty sure that the whole point of University is to be Independent.


It kinda defeats the whole purpose of sending you to University if your parents still dictate everything to you

I'm pretty sure that the whole purpose of going to university is to get an education. Also, the concept of parents 'sending' their children to uni is mildly offensive. People tend to choose to go to uni...

Original post by HAnwar
Then listen to her and respect her choice.
It is easy to get caught up in a lot of haram there.

I commute and I'm doing just fine. Made great friends Alhamdulilah, it's not such a big deal.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Surely those who are comfortable in their religion can avoid the temptation of 'haram'? Whilst she is bound to conform to her parents' choices, she does not need to respect the fact that they're attempting to oppress her autonomy.
That's weird usually Asian/Muslim parents encourage their kids to go uni. Well what you could do is live with them and study at a nearby university. What else you suppose to do if you dont go uni? Get married?
Original post by Calmness
I know muslims who do the same thing, even worse.

Like I said, I have a friend from Saudi Arabia, a muslim girl and she drinks curses and sleeps around like it's nothing.

No one is perfect and not everyone is the way you think they are.


They'd be the Muslims I'd tell the OP to avoid.

I never said everyone is perfect. Nor did I claim to know how everyone is. I gave general advice which a lot of Muslims at uni follow.
Original post by nerdygeek101
This is such rubbish lol- it's not 'tradition' - I'm a muslim pakistani girl and my parents WANT me to go to uni and most of my friends who are muslim and girls- they're parents WANT them to go to uni. Don't blame it on religion and stop stereotyping. Our culture isn't as mysoginistic as you are making it out to be- probably just your parents. Surely also you should sort it out with them- what are a bunch of people who don't know you or your parents going to do to help. Stupid.


Did you read her OP? She said that her parents have a problem with her staying at uni (i.e uni halls) not going to uni. Which a lot of Muslim parents do a have an issue with.
Original post by IFoundWonderland



I'm pretty sure that the whole purpose of going to university is to get an education. Also, the concept of parents 'sending' their children to uni is mildly offensive. People tend to choose to go to uni...




Yes get an education, which you've been doing all your life, the difference here is that you're doing it independently and not relying on your parents to wake you up, make you food, do your laundry etc.

That's down to yourself.
Original post by Anonymous
I think it's too late now for me to get good grades
Also the UNIs that I want to go to are the other side of the U.K. So I can't travel there everyday for first year


If push comes to shove and you don't get the grades - try to resit the year and reapply to the good unis. I don't mean this in a bad way but job wise, going to good uni and commuting is better than moving to the other end of the country for a rank 60 uni.

What course is it?
Original post by alexschmalex
You'll go further in life living at a good uni than staying at home to commute to and from a bad one. Even if it's close, the journey is just an added burden and time that could be spent working. Unless your parents are paying for your tuition, I don't think they get a say in where you live, it's your future not theirs and they need to understand and accept that.


That's what I thought that it would help me be a much more successful person and my mum know that but she still didn't care I've tried explaining loads
People here blaming Islam like it says in the Quran "Dear parents, please don't let your child go university"
Original post by Calmness
Yes get an education, which you've been doing all your life, the difference here is that you're doing it independently and not relying on your parents to wake you up, make you food, do your laundry etc.

That's down to yourself.

A degree is the process of fine-tuning and furthering that education so that you can become an expert in your field and make yourself more valuable to the job market. Beginning to lead an independent life can be just as easily done by leaving home and starting to work.

Independence and going to university are mutually exclusive.

I know people who live out at uni and are far from being independent.
Original post by IFoundWonderland
A degree is the process of fine-tuning and furthering that education so that you can become an expert in your field and make yourself more valuable to the job market. Beginning to lead an independent life can be just as easily done by leaving home and starting to work.

Independence and going to university are mutually exclusive.

I know people who live out at uni and are far from being independent.



Yes and I also know a lot of graduates who know next to nothing about their degree and either switch courses for a masters or go into hard labour. Not everyone who goes to university is doing it for the perks of being a graduate.

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