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Why are girls like this?

I suffer from anxiety and depression. I've had suicidal thoughts and tried to kill myself once.I no longer disclose those things to girls I date or want to date (though after some time, it becomes impossible not to). Because it seems quite a few have a burning desire to "fix" you. I don't know why that is. Even though I'm clearly not stable, I want a stable girl for myself and I don't know of any guy who would want an unstable or "broken" girl. And yet I am certain some girls have dated me only because they thought they'd make me a better man. They all failed and one of them who I had really strong feelings for, broke my heart and made me feel worse than I've ever felt.Why do girls do this? I mean, maybe I'm wrong and they don't but I've experienced it many times myself. I know no guys who'd like a girl version of myself (unless she was hot which I'm not) so I can't find a parallel case with males.
Original post by Anonymous
I suffer from anxiety and depression. I've had suicidal thoughts and tried to kill myself once.I no longer disclose those things to girls I date or want to date (though after some time, it becomes impossible not to). Because it seems quite a few have a burning desire to "fix" you. I don't know why that is. Even though I'm clearly not stable, I want a stable girl for myself and I don't know of any guy who would want an unstable or "broken" girl. And yet I am certain some girls have dated me only because they thought they'd make me a better man. They all failed and one of them who I had really strong feelings for, broke my heart and made me feel worse than I've ever felt.Why do girls do this? I mean, maybe I'm wrong and they don't but I've experienced it many times myself. I know no guys who'd like a girl version of myself (unless she was hot which I'm not) so I can't find a parallel case with males.


Maybe because by then, they like/liked you for other things and this was something that they wanted to support you? It's either that or they leave you - you're right - they wouldn't want to be with someone unstable that they can't 'fix' (or help you to help yourself), just like a guy wouldn't want a girl like that.
I think they like the initial idea of having a value, in that they wish to help fix you, they want the sense of achievement knowing they can make you feel better, but if it's too hard for them then I guess they won't pass on ;-; Good luck to you though :biggrin: I hope things get better :biggrin:D
I've dated girls out of pity for their situation before, so men do it as well. It doesn't work incidentally, as you've noticed.

That said, I think that blaming them because things didn't work out is really shifting the blame from yourself. Two people enter a relationship and two people are required to make one work. Saying "I'm a mess and they shouldn't have dated me if they didn't want a mess" is simply absolving yourself of the responsibility for things failing.
Well they were trying to help you.
It sounds like you didnt really show them enough attention really.
It was all about you.
Im sorry to hear about your past experiences!
Is there anything you can do? Anyone you can see?
These girls tried to help you out and turn you into a stable man but it sounds like they couldnt so they had no choice but to move on.
Youre lucky to have dated so many girls! Ive never been on a date before! Not one!
But youll find someone soon!
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I suffer from anxiety and depression. I've had suicidal thoughts and tried to kill myself once.I no longer disclose those things to girls I date or want to date (though after some time, it becomes impossible not to). Because it seems quite a few have a burning desire to "fix" you. I don't know why that is. Even though I'm clearly not stable, I want a stable girl for myself and I don't know of any guy who would want an unstable or "broken" girl. And yet I am certain some girls have dated me only because they thought they'd make me a better man. They all failed and one of them who I had really strong feelings for, broke my heart and made me feel worse than I've ever felt.Why do girls do this? I mean, maybe I'm wrong and they don't but I've experienced it many times myself. I know no guys who'd like a girl version of myself (unless she was hot which I'm not) so I can't find a parallel case with males.


They are going to try to help you get better if they love you because they would want you to be happy. Its not to make you a "better man " but if they love someone they aren't going to want to watch you be sad and want to die. I was in your position a couple years ago and my boyfriend of the time was so supportive. He really wanted to help but didn't know how so i just told him what i needed him to do and he did :smile: It kinda sounds like you don't want to get better a little. These girls aren't doing this to hurt you so if you don't want them helping you, let them know :smile: they are only doing it because they like you and want you to love yourself as much as they love you :smile: It sounds like you might want to focus on getting yourself better before dating so that you don't have to worry about keeping it secret from girls or getting annoyed when they want to help you. :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
I suffer from anxiety and depression. I've had suicidal thoughts and tried to kill myself once.I no longer disclose those things to girls I date or want to date (though after some time, it becomes impossible not to). Because it seems quite a few have a burning desire to "fix" you. I don't know why that is. Even though I'm clearly not stable, I want a stable girl for myself and I don't know of any guy who would want an unstable or "broken" girl. And yet I am certain some girls have dated me only because they thought they'd make me a better man. They all failed and one of them who I had really strong feelings for, broke my heart and made me feel worse than I've ever felt.Why do girls do this? I mean, maybe I'm wrong and they don't but I've experienced it many times myself. I know no guys who'd like a girl version of myself (unless she was hot which I'm not) so I can't find a parallel case with males.


Are you getting help for this? If you're having suicidal thoughts please call your GP or 999 ASAP
"Girls you've dated (both of them)" don't equal all girls on the planet.
Don't think 999 deals with that stuff - the Samaritans would probably be better.

Original post by Anonymous
I suffer from anxiety and depression. I've had suicidal thoughts and tried to kill myself once.I no longer disclose those things to girls I date or want to date (though after some time, it becomes impossible not to). Because it seems quite a few have a burning desire to "fix" you. I don't know why that is. Even though I'm clearly not stable, I want a stable girl for myself and I don't know of any guy who would want an unstable or "broken" girl. And yet I am certain some girls have dated me only because they thought they'd make me a better man. They all failed and one of them who I had really strong feelings for, broke my heart and made me feel worse than I've ever felt.Why do girls do this? I mean, maybe I'm wrong and they don't but I've experienced it many times myself. I know no guys who'd like a girl version of myself (unless she was hot which I'm not) so I can't find a parallel case with males.


I'm a guy, and I'd probably do the same if there were a very intelligent, but troubled, girl, who I fancied. Probably not 'only' to fix her, however, but even then, I could see myself potentially doing that, if I felt I could really help them
Maybe they liked you and then realised they didnt?
girls have cuties
it really depends how you see ur self tbh

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