Mental Health Support Society XVIII

I feel like I'm falling apart

Sertraline was giving me digestive issues so have been switched to citrolopram which appears to not have the same side effects. Hopefully it doesn't cause anything worse...

Last 2 exams today. Am nervous but am hoping my preperation has been sufficient.

I don'tthink so. I also think that even if you've gone through something, your situation is still going to be somehwta different.

I agree with Tiger Rag that even if the someone has been through the same sort of thing it'll still probably differ a lot.

That said, my wife does not understand at all. She has never had to deal with mental illness before she met me. She still has the attitude that I'm bringing things on myself and if I just tried hard enough things would be ok. :/

Yes of course they can. If somebody is willing to help, you have to be willing to accept. If you aren't willing to accept, then you may be in danger of pushing them away from you. Friends are there to support you, so let them support you

I
Definitely can be understanding and helpful in my experience. I have really good friends who haven't had any MH issues but that are amazing and fantastic when I'm really ill, having a wobbly day or just need a chat. They explained it to me as that they don't know exactly what I'm going through, but they know that I'm hurting and they know what it's like to hurt. And they look at everything with openness and feel comfortable to ask me stuff about the illness/what's going on. I'm super lucky to have them as friends.

Don't know if any of that was legible or helpful at all, I'm not the best with words.

Does anyone ever get days where they feel like almost a fraud? I keep thinking that. Maybe its because I have my ESA medical coming up and I keep thinking that I don't deserve help, benefits or anything because there are people worse off than me - mentally and physically and I must not be ill and I am just a liar and a fraud even when I know I'm not and I've been mentally ill on and off for most of my life. Maybe its my way of trying to cope by denying things or the way I've been brought up which was very much - you can't ever moan about a problem because someone is out there dying of cancer or something else really tragic. Feeling like this has been really getting to me lately and makes me feel like I should turn down all the help I am due to get from my doctors referral and I should just get off my arse and get a job and never speak of mental illness again. I've been stressed to **** lately and been having some setbacks so maybe this is my way of trying to cope, I dunno

I don't really get days like that; but I have a problem with taking myself/mental health (disorders) seriously in general and then there are those moments where I suddenly get a really intense and consuming feeling of thinking that I am just faking it or that I am just attention seeking and that it isn't worse enough, etc., etc., If that's what you mean/helps...
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Want a laugh? Guess who I am seeing tomorrow...my old therapist

My GP called me to let me know my original date with my therapist was still available and that I could go to the appointment tomorrow if I want to so I have decided to go and tell her what I really feel and ask for supporting evidence from her to go along with my ESA and PIP claims. Also, found out today that its a psychiatrist I have been referred to and not a psychologist. I don't really know what to expect seeing a psychiatrist as I don't take meds, do they do therapy type things as well as prescribing meds?

I'm assuming the therapist has been told by my GP what I have said about her so it could be a bit awkward tomorrow but I'm past caring now. I'll be as polite as I can be as I don't like hurting or offended anyone but be firm enough to get my points across. Even if she did say she will definitely do weekly therapy now, its too late for that as she just isn't the therapist for me and told me in the past she would help me find someone else if need be.