Girlfriend refusing to have sex with me...

I've been with my girlfriend around about 18 months now. At the start of the relationship we had sex often, however around the 6 month mark that slowed down and would only do it once a month and then at the nine month mark it stopped completely, unless we had a big massive argument about it and she felt obliged to do it. She says the reason she doesn't want to do it is because she does not trust contraception and first told me just to wait a few weeks until the Christmas holidays until she could go and see the doctor in her home town, but she didn't go. She then said that she would go at Easter. She didn't go then. She said that she's a bit on the overweight side to go on the pill right now but will slim down over this summer and then get it at the end of the summer. We are due to move in together at the end of August and it seems she's not been trying. I'm getting worried that she won't feel like she's lost enough weight to want to go on the pill to be told wait until next Christmas. I've been really fair and understanding but I told her that it would be the end if she didn't go on the pill. I'm not bothered about her going on the pill if she was fine using condoms. It's really bothering me and stressing me out and everytime I bring it up I get shut down and told it's fine stop worrying it will get sorted.

There are more things to do than have intercourse.

If you were to have intercourse with her knowing that she really doesn't want to - and 'unless we had a big massive argument about it and she felt obliged to do it' comes very close to that - what does that make you?

A young relationship where one of the parties is refusing to have sex is obviously a problem. Sex is a massive part of a healthy relationship. And you're trying to blame him for wanting sex?

Are you an idiot? A young relationship where one of the parties is refusing to have sex is obviously a problem. Sex is a massive part of a healthy relationship.

With someone who doesn't want to? Yes.

It's up to her when she wants sex, not him. If that means the end of the relationship as far as he's concerned, fine.

Actually no it isn't. It may be very important for you or even 90% of the population but that doesn't mean that the other 10% are a problem.

I myself have found my self less and less interested in sex with anyone not just my partner (I don't look at anyone and feel attraction). My partner, who enjoys sex, is totally fine with this and doesn't particularly care. We are very happy and affectionate together.

I would understand if he said "I'm sorry I want a sexual relationship we should break up" but the idea that not wanting sex is a problem in every relationship is completely false. I think the OP should be up front as to whether this is a real issue for them and possibly break up (definitely decide if your okay with this before moving in!).

You're an oddity. Usually if one person totally loses their sex drive while the other still has it, problems are ahead. And losing sexual interest in your partner is generally a sign other things are wrong too. You can't just say "this isn't a problem" when OP is clearly stating it is a problem for him.

You said it was a problem in a "healthy relationship" therefore implying that us "oddities" can only have unhealthy relationships. Unlike communication (for example), sex isn't a requirement for a healthy relationship.

It's pretty offensive to asexual people, survivors of sexual abuse, people with medical issues preventing sex to say they can't have healthy relationships (not all people in these groups won't have sex but they have good reasons that have nothing to do with their partner to not do so).

I also advised the OP try discussing it again and accepting that if she is really uninterested in sex that he move on. I'm not ignoring his problem I'm disagreeing with your generalization.