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Girlfriend refusing to have sex with me...

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Maybe the relationship has just run its course? Which admittedly sounds harsher than I intended. Just approach her and request (or demand if need be) honesty, tell her it is starting to be a major concern to you. Regardless, I hope you get the best possible outcome!
No offence but maybe y'all should actually try and help this guy rather than debating over who's right, as this is happening to him right now.
Original post by asoftersin
I've been with my girlfriend around about 18 months now. At the start of the relationship we had sex often, however around the 6 month mark that slowed down and would only do it once a month and then at the nine month mark it stopped completely, unless we had a big massive argument about it and she felt obliged to do it. She says the reason she doesn't want to do it is because she does not trust contraception and first told me just to wait a few weeks until the Christmas holidays until she could go and see the doctor in her home town, but she didn't go. She then said that she would go at Easter. She didn't go then. She said that she's a bit on the overweight side to go on the pill right now but will slim down over this summer and then get it at the end of the summer. We are due to move in together at the end of August and it seems she's not been trying. I'm getting worried that she won't feel like she's lost enough weight to want to go on the pill to be told wait until next Christmas. I've been really fair and understanding but I told her that it would be the end if she didn't go on the pill. I'm not bothered about her going on the pill if she was fine using condoms. It's really bothering me and stressing me out and everytime I bring it up I get shut down and told it's fine stop worrying it will get sorted.


Turn her off and turn her back on again
Btw OP you are doomed. She's not into you anymore and will just find other excuses or ways to delay.
Original post by Lawliettt
1. So you're telling me that his reaction AFTER she has already made up her decision is the reason why she changed her decision in the first place?

No, whatever caused the initial decline wasn't dealt with in any helpful way (by him) and he's now where he is.

And read OP's post again. 12 months ago they were having sex once per month. 9 months ago it basically completely stopped. Do you seriously think that in those 12 months he hasn't tried to reason?


The critical period was the three months between those two. 'I think you should have sex with me because...' isn't reasoning.

And why would he be supportive?


You're not in a relationship, are you?
Original post by asoftersin
I've been with my girlfriend around about 18 months now. At the start of the relationship we had sex often, however around the 6 month mark that slowed down and would only do it once a month and then at the nine month mark it stopped completely, unless we had a big massive argument about it and she felt obliged to do it. She says the reason she doesn't want to do it is because she does not trust contraception and first told me just to wait a few weeks until the Christmas holidays until she could go and see the doctor in her home town, but she didn't go. She then said that she would go at Easter. She didn't go then. She said that she's a bit on the overweight side to go on the pill right now but will slim down over this summer and then get it at the end of the summer. We are due to move in together at the end of August and it seems she's not been trying. I'm getting worried that she won't feel like she's lost enough weight to want to go on the pill to be told wait until next Christmas. I've been really fair and understanding but I told her that it would be the end if she didn't go on the pill. I'm not bothered about her going on the pill if she was fine using condoms. It's really bothering me and stressing me out and everytime I bring it up I get shut down and told it's fine stop worrying it will get sorted.


No offense but she sounds like a *****. I don't like women who play games like that and refuse to have sex for long periods of time
You need to dump her cos if shes doing this now and your planning on moving in together or even worse if you get married she will do the same thing.
She likes being in control and refusing you sex is the perfect way to make you suffer
Find a girl that will sex you when ever you want or whats the point of being in a relationship ?
But although it might be hard to find someone new and that you have a connection with but do you really want to spend the rest of your life living like that ?
Tell her to get a coil fitted in her arm instead, tell her to ask her doctor about it or you can both ring up and make an appointment and go to a sexual health clinic to get it done
I do understand that the pill makes women put on weight because that happened to me when i was on it but i only took it to stop periods because i hated it but i had to stop taking the pill and when i did i lost all the weight
But she will always be fat and might never lose the weight anyway so you will have to put up with her mood swings and refusing you sex everytime she feels low or after an argument.

Or your best bet is to order one of those real sex dolls from America
Type Real Sex Dolls on You Tube and it will show videos of men who use them
It's hillarious. Threaten her with it and say if you don't get sex on a regular basis you will get one of those dolls.
She should count herself lucky that you don't mind her being over weight as lots of men prefer that.
Turn the light off before bedtime then she won't feel embarrassed
It sounds sick to me telling someone to wait a few weeks until the christmas holidays. She's taking the piss
Grow some balls and man up
Original post by Foo.mp3
Correction: why should one put the happiness of someone else above one's own if that someone else acts callously towards thee(?)*

We've been over this, you dated a couple of douchebros, that was your mistake

That's common to most people not specific to Christians, who believe in broader self-sacrifice/love of humanity

Sure, when we're young, but not otherwise


exactly my point. One should always protects one's interests because humans have the capability to betray or hurt you etc*

I get that but it wasn't my mistake,it's just one of those life lessons*

I do have love for humanity,no doubt about that :smile:*
Original post by Foo.mp3
Correction: why should one put the happiness of someone else above one's own if that someone else acts callously towards thee(?)*

We've been over this, you dated a couple of douchebros, that was your mistake

That's common to most people not specific to Christians, who believe in broader self-sacrifice/love of humanity

Sure, when we're young, but not otherwise


exactly my point. One should always protects one's interests because humans have the capability to betray or hurt you etc. Consider the feelings/opinions but never allow it to cloud your judgement or guilt trip into making certain decisions

I get that but it wasn't my mistake,it's just one of those life lessons*

I do have love for humanity,no doubt about that :smile:*
Original post by Judge Judy
Find a girl that will sex you when ever you want or whats the point of being in a relationship ?

So you have sex with your partner(s) whenever they want it, regardless of whether or not you do?

You mention Real Dolls later - I didn't realise at least one had a TSR account...

Tell her to get a coil fitted in her arm instead


Snort.

Coil - goes in the uterus.
Implant - goes in the arm.

Both are up to her, not him.
Original post by Foo.mp3
Sure, random mere mortals do, but not so much close friends, and certainly not your Lord and keeper :jebus:

Definitely not, never let yourself down

Bit of both chick (you can't have been expected to know but you could have spotted the warning signs/acted on them sooner

True, but we aspire to Christ's humanity, do we not? :smile:


yup but it's not like it's unheard of for close friends and family to betray.

I choose my own happiness,I will never let others dictate *

There weren't really any if I'm honest...*

Ofcourse! 100%*
Reply 69
Avatar for _MILLI_
_MILLI_
1
hit the gym. make her wantcha. if she still dont, she's cheating.
I will give you a woman's point of view.
If I didn't want to have sex with my boyfriend it would be because I lack that connection we had, how about try and romance her? I mean in a way of getting her flowers, telling her she's beautiful, or squeeze in the "I love you".
It could also be the lack of confidence, as you say she's gained a bit of weight, I understand that gaining weight is a confidence knockers because when I gained weight in the past I didn't want my boyfriend looking at me naked. I felt insecure about myself, but with a little time and with my boyfriend telling me he loved me for who I am I felt confident again.
Try and ask her if she is feeling insecure about something, it might help.
And with the contraception side of things, i know how she feels, not everything is 100 %. i didn't have sex for three weeks because I knew my coil was getting to the stage of not being the best so I waited for my depo. She may be worried about getting pregnant at an early age therefore adding more stress and loosing her sex drive.
I hope it helps.

And i do apologise if its hard to understand what I've written, I'm dyslexic.

Good luck :biggrin:
Either she's cheating on you or isn't attracted to you. End it amicably.
Original post by unprinted
So you have sex with your partner(s) whenever they want it, regardless of whether or not you do?

You mention Real Dolls later - I didn't realise at least one had a TSR account...



Snort.

Coil - goes in the uterus.
Implant - goes in the arm.

Both are up to her, not him.


Oh, get over yourself. Your not the only one that has an opinion
This is about him and how to deal with it, not about you
Did you write this thread asking for advice or him ?
You seem very patronising and taking it way too personal
It's only a bit of advice, he can take it or leave it but any man who stays in that kind of relationship for a long time is clearly a pussy
Original post by Foo.mp3
Hahaha. Sure hun :rolleyes:

Would you like a refresher, or to gracefully concede the point? :curious:

Good, expect to see this in evidence, at some point.. :erm:


honestly! I would consider the opinions but if it meant me giving up my happiness then certainly not!

Yes,sir :smile: I shall concede*

I have always tried to follow the true teachings of Christ and in time I could improve on areas I'm not so good at *
Original post by Foo.mp3
That's a qualifying statement, which was not inherent in your former proclamation about being dictated to. We both know that you're capable of taking instruction from a unique, older male :sexface:

Good girl :emog:

Hmm


oh don't worry,he knows who he is and is probably the only person I would ever make an exception for when it comes to my happiness :u:

Hmm?*
Original post by Foo.mp3
Remain to be convinced re: your Christian virtue, my love


I'm as Christian as they get and you also know what role God plays in my life*
Original post by The Roast
She's cheating on you.

So many ******** excuses...


Doesn't mean she's cheating at all, some people just arn't big on sex.
Original post by indigofox
Doesn't mean she's cheating at all, some people just arn't big on sex.


OP said for the first few months they were having sex "often" only for it to drop to ONCE A MONTH lol.
Original post by The Roast
OP said for the first few months they were having sex "often" only for it to drop to ONCE A MONTH lol.


Yea but it could be because at the start of relationships people tend to go that extra mile to please their partner, it's the honeymoon period where people get caught up in the excitement of their relationship. Then after the initial few months true personalities start to show.
have you had a proper conversation? like not 'I'm thinking of ending it' but 'I don't think you've given me a genuine reason not to have sex, I want to know what the actual problem is' because if it's just birth control that could have been easily fixed if she actually wanted to sleep with you (and the pill isn't the only option, there's implant, injection, coil etc and she can see someone at a local GP practice). If you know what the actual problem is then you can make an informed decision, if she doesn't enjoy sex or isn't attracted to you then you can make the call to end it because that's not changing but it might be that she has built up a lot of anxiety about sex, had a pregnancy scare, is conscious of her body, lost her sex drive etc which could all be overcome if you support her.

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