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This boy at uni likes me but my friend had a crush on him?

So there is this boy who is always waving at me with a massive smile on his face and looks really keen when I'm around him. He looks at me when I'm not looking and then quickly looks away. I kind of figured out he likes me by the vibe he's given off.*

My close friend last year admitted she had a crush on him. So I never saw him other than an acquaintance. Now I'm still at uni and so is he and he may one day muster up the courage to ask me out, what is the best thing to do knowing my friend had feelings for him? It may create awkwardness between us so is it best to just nicely turn him down?*
Obviously the decent thing is to turn him down due to your friend liking him. I'd be pretty angry and drop you as a friend if you knew I liked him but went ahead anyway.

BUUUT if you REALLY like him back, why not? Selfish people live longer (sadly), and you need to put yourself first bc she could be a snake this time next year and you'll be kicking yourself for being nice. Have a chat with your friend, emphasise how guilty you feel about this but you do like him and hope she'll be okay with this. Don't ask for her permission, just explain in a sympathetic yet friendly way why you wanna go out with him.

Good luck!
Reply 2
Original post by ImagineCats
Obviously the decent thing is to turn him down due to your friend liking him. I'd be pretty angry and drop you as a friend if you knew I liked him but went ahead anyway.

BUUUT if you REALLY like him back, why not? Selfish people live longer (sadly), and you need to put yourself first bc she could be a snake this time next year and you'll be kicking yourself for being nice. Have a chat with your friend, emphasise how guilty you feel about this but you do like him and hope she'll be okay with this. Don't ask for her permission, just explain in a sympathetic yet friendly way why you wanna go out with him.

Good luck!


Thank you! Tbh he looks average to me but I can see why some girls like him. He has a cool dress sense and is a smart medical student along with a nice personality. Anyway I've never thought about him in that way but if he makes advances to me then I thought why not, had I not known my friend had a crush on him. I'm too nice to try dating someone she likes though, it won't make me feel comfortable as she will always be at the back of my mind. Should I tell this guy about my friend if he did ask me out?
Original post by Anonymous
So there is this boy who is always waving at me with a massive smile on his face and looks really keen when I'm around him. He looks at me when I'm not looking and then quickly looks away. I kind of figured out he likes me by the vibe he's given off.*

My close friend last year admitted she had a crush on him. So I never saw him other than an acquaintance. Now I'm still at uni and so is he and he may one day muster up the courage to ask me out, what is the best thing to do knowing my friend had feelings for him? It may create awkwardness between us so is it best to just nicely turn him down?*

If you're genuinely interested in him, then tell your friend about it and ask her permission. If you're not interested, then spare her feelings and just tell him no straight off. In the latter case, it might be a good idea to let him know that your friend likes him and see if he wants to ask her out instead.
Just because your friend has a crush on him doesn't mean that he belongs to her in some sense.
Sounds like he likes you so I say go for it (if you feel the same way) after telling your friend about it so she doesn't feel betrayed when she finds out later.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you! Tbh he looks average to me but I can see why some girls like him. He has a cool dress sense and is a smart medical student along with a nice personality. Anyway I've never thought about him in that way but if he makes advances to me then I thought why not, had I not known my friend had a crush on him. I'm too nice to try dating someone she likes though, it won't make me feel comfortable as she will always be at the back of my mind. Should I tell this guy about my friend if he did ask me out?


Ehh Im really not too sure. If your friend is confident and really badly wants him then yeah go ahead and tell him. Part of me also thinks you should just leave it at "one of my really good friends likes you, so this is wrong" aaaaaah so confusing

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