Got a First Class Degree but a lot of my family are extremely jealous. What to do?

Hi,

So I recently received my results and was awarded an overall First class degree. I was expecting this and I fully deserved it for all my hard work and effort and I was proud and happy for it.

After telling all my cousins and family about it - a lot of them were noticeably very jealous. They were saying "Oh" or even not congratulating me and this really annoyed me and upset me. The people who I have done favours for and the people who I thought would share the same love and support I had for them - just did not seem happy for me. A lot of my school friends, however felt happy for me.

The thing is, this in itself has already put me off. If the people who I call family, are noticably jealous of my success, what do I do in the future when I get married, get my first house and also go through my worries in my life? I don't think they will support me in tough times if they can't even simply congratulate me! It is shocking.

I know people will say "forget them" or "you don't need them" - but that is easier said than done.

What should I do?

Reply 1

999tigger

19

Why is it such a big deal? Is it the same by your parents and siblings or just cousins?
I wouldnt pay too much attention to extended family. they are what they are.

You sound to be making more of a drama than you need to.

If you cant forget it, then that means you either churn over it for the rest of your life or confront them all and decry them for not giving you support and the recognition you deserve. they arent really goung to pay you much attention and you will end up looking needy and insecure imo. Some things you just need to move on from and stop creating drama for yourself.

Reply 2

samklipas0

OP

1

Original post by 999tigger

Why is it such a big deal? Is it the same by your parents and siblings or just cousins?
I wouldnt pay too much attention to extended family. they are what they are.

You sound to be making more of a drama than you need to.

If you cant forget it, then that means you either churn over it for the rest of your life or confront them all and decry them for not giving you support and the recognition you deserve. they arent really goung to pay you much attention and you will end up looking needy and insecure imo. Some things you just need to move on from and stop creating drama for yourself.

Fair enough mate. It is just that whenever something good happens to them - I tend to shake their hands or hug them and I also give them money.

It is like a betrayal of trust. These people live near me and what not and the fact that they can't appreciate me for what I have become is sad.

I will of course get over it fairly quickly but it is still quite disappointing

Reply 3

doodle_333

19

Try and see it from their point of view as well, perhaps they've always worked hard and are frustrated that they can't acheive the same success... either way don't take it personally

Reply 4

999tigger

19

You have expectations, they behaved in a way yiou felt was disappointing. Adjust and remember. People let you down it juts happens. My point is dont beat yourself up about it, its a waste of your energy. I'd want my parents on my side and siblings, then would find it easy to ignore the others. Thats just me, but you are putting yourself into a situation where your disappointment is causing aggro only for yourself.

Reply 5

qwertypoiop

1

Original post by doodle_333

Try and see it from their point of view as well, perhaps they've always worked hard and are frustrated that they can't acheive the same success... either way don't take it personally

Well said.
OP can not do anything about it really, but what he/she can do is enjoy the 1st class hons for which they worked hard. :h:

Reply 6

ckfeister

19

Original post by samklipas0

Hi,

So I recently received my results and was awarded an overall First class degree. I was expecting this and I fully deserved it for all my hard work and effort and I was proud and happy for it.

After telling all my cousins and family about it - a lot of them were noticeably very jealous. They were saying "Oh" or even not congratulating me and this really annoyed me and upset me. The people who I have done favours for and the people who I thought would share the same love and support I had for them - just did not seem happy for me. A lot of my school friends, however felt happy for me.

The thing is, this in itself has already put me off. If the people who I call family, are noticably jealous of my success, what do I do in the future when I get married, get my first house and also go through my worries in my life? I don't think they will support me in tough times if they can't even simply congratulate me! It is shocking.

I know people will say "forget them" or "you don't need them" - but that is easier said than done.

What should I do?

Tell them to do the effort then they'll get it

Reply 7

Tw1x

21

Weren't you the one who posted the thread about your family being jealous because you're super rich? If so, same advice. Ignore them. If not - ignore them. Either that, or contact your uni and tell them you cheated and lose your first, then they won't be jealous?

Reply 8

samklipas0

OP

1

Original post by Tw1x

Weren't you the one who posted the thread about your family being jealous because you're super rich? If so, same advice. Ignore them. If not - ignore them. Either that, or contact your uni and tell them you cheated and lose your first, then they won't be jealous?

Well, losing the first - I am not too sure about that LOL :P.

This whole result thing however extends past family too. I am so so so happy with my result but it just doesn't feel good when say one of your closest cousin is not so happy for you - even though you were happy for them.

I will of course get over it at some point - but I may not react so well when they become successful #KARMA

Reply 9

Tw1x

21

Original post by samklipas0

Well, losing the first - I am not too sure about that LOL :P.

This whole result thing however extends past family too. I am so so so happy with my result but it just doesn't feel good when say one of your closest cousin is not so happy for you - even though you were happy for them.

I will of course get over it at some point - but I may not react so well when they become successful #KARMA

Lol, I was only joking. You've worked hard for it, be proud - you have every right to shout it from the rooftops if you did genuinely work for it and didn't get it by luck.

Like another poster said, other people might be bitter because they felt they deserved a first and didn't get it. At the end of the day, everybodies number one priority is themselves, so for you to achieve it and them not is gonna stir bad feelings. If they really care about you I'm sure they don't mean it. If not, forget them and be happy.

Reply 10

username738914

21

#humblebrag

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 11

?Hannah

14

You have done brilliantly!
Your family should be supporting you! Since they are obviously not, don't let that hold you back! Go out there and put your degree to use - get a good job that you enjoy and that hopefully pays well!
Hopefully, your family will soon change their ways regarding your degree.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 12

InvestmentBankin

10

So what did you do at university?

Reply 13

Claire461

21

You can't choose your family. Be proud of your achievement and sod them.

Reply 14

AndrewSCO

20

Original post by Tw1x

Weren't you the one who posted the thread about your family being jealous because you're super rich? If so, same advice. Ignore them. If not - ignore them. Either that, or contact your uni and tell them you cheated and lose your first, then they won't be jealous?

Sounds like stealth "look at me" threads to me

Reply 15

Eugenie Grandet

10

Original post by samklipas0

Hi,

So I recently received my results and was awarded an overall First class degree. I was expecting this and I fully deserved it for all my hard work and effort and I was proud and happy for it.

After telling all my cousins and family about it - a lot of them were noticeably very jealous. They were saying "Oh" or even not congratulating me and this really annoyed me and upset me. The people who I have done favours for and the people who I thought would share the same love and support I had for them - just did not seem happy for me. A lot of my school friends, however felt happy for me.

The thing is, this in itself has already put me off. If the people who I call family, are noticably jealous of my success, what do I do in the future when I get married, get my first house and also go through my worries in my life? I don't think they will support me in tough times if they can't even simply congratulate me! It is shocking.

I know people will say "forget them" or "you don't need them" - but that is easier said than done.

What should I do?

I understand where you're coming from, as I had similar experience with my family, but most likely they do really love you and are proud, it's just having their relative jump into the room all radiant and beaming about their first when they're feeling rubbish about themselves and their lives may be irksome. Sure, they should overcome this and be happy for you, but of course human beings are flawed and you don't always get the response you need/want from them. As for when you go through tough times, remember you do have your friends who will be rooting for you and I am sure a couple of reliable family members too.

Reply 16

username1494226

19

A first class in WHAT though? Not all degrees are created equal at the end of the day

Reply 17

Betelgeuse-

19

Original post by samklipas0

Hi,

So I recently received my results and was awarded an overall First class degree. I was expecting this and I fully deserved it for all my hard work and effort and I was proud and happy for it.

After telling all my cousins and family about it - a lot of them were noticeably very jealous. They were saying "Oh" or even not congratulating me and this really annoyed me and upset me. The people who I have done favours for and the people who I thought would share the same love and support I had for them - just did not seem happy for me. A lot of my school friends, however felt happy for me.

The thing is, this in itself has already put me off. If the people who I call family, are noticably jealous of my success, what do I do in the future when I get married, get my first house and also go through my worries in my life? I don't think they will support me in tough times if they can't even simply congratulate me! It is shocking.

I know people will say "forget them" or "you don't need them" - but that is easier said than done.

What should I do?

People are aids. Welcome to life