Confused, lost, Muslim Girl, all help and advise would be good

Hi everyone
I'm at an all time low right now and seeking some help and advise to get through this.
I would like to remain anonymous for now, I'm just worried I may know someone on here so need to protect my identity.

Okay here is my story

8 years ago I starting dating a none Muslim guy, I was 17 at the time and he was 21. We dated for 5 years and got so strong. He was my first true love. I dated other men before (Muslim ones and hated it) where as with this guy, I loved him (still do)
Anyways he knew what my family were like, I used to lie all the time to my family, stay at his house everyday and come home at 11, it's like I lived my 5 years with him as a lie to my family.

One day my mother found out, she was hatred towards me, very bitter, told me to forget him and find a Muslim. She cursed him all the time, she hated it. My brothers eventually found out and then 5 years later in the relationship I ended it. During the 4th year dating he did start at looking to convert but it started to get complicated and was questioning things in the religion. It was in the 5th year he said to me he cant do it. He doesn't want to be Muslim. He wants to be accepted for who he is. Then I decided to end things. I was a mess and then 1 year passed and I heard he was dating again. My heart was in pieces. I couldn't breathe when I found out. Total knife in my heart. I started dating to help keep me distracted. I was a mess and yes I dated a none Muslim again to try heal me.

Anyways 2 years have now passed and this month (3weeks ago) I got a message from my ex. It was a song that said he will never forget me.
We exchange emails and caught up! It was nice to hear from him. He is doing so well in his life, owns a Lamborghini, is a business owner and so successful (all happened after we broke up)

He is still in his relationship and so am I.

A few days ago we decided to meet up secretly. One thing lead to another and flame was reignited. We slept with each other, it felt comfortable. But then a few days later we both regretted it as we are both in relationships.

I know what we done was bad, but we both still love each other. It was because I stopped loving him we broke. We stopped because of religion.

Now we Both are confused and we have spoken and agreed that this can be no more. He said we won't work at all, he doesn't want to be a Muslim and he doesn't want my family to disown me. He told me I need to find the right man.

So now I'm here, crying, hating the fact it was my religion that made us not be together.
If religion wasn't a part of it then we would be married by now, had kids and a lovely house.

What do I do?

Family: so mum has been to haaj and has become very religious, she's very culture orientated. She tells me tirelessly that I'm getting old '26 and I need to get married and settle down with a Muslim. My brothers are strong believers too.

What do I do?
Has anyone been in the situation

If you care about religion, block him on all platforms, make tauba and move on (which will take some time), make positive changes in your life, get married the proper way and stop this dating rubbish.

If you don't care about religion, then I have nothing to advise you other than the above.

May Allah guide you and us all.

Hi everyone
I'm at an all time low right now and seeking some help and advise to get through this.
I would like to remain anonymous for now, I'm just worried I may know someone on here so need to protect my identity.

Okay here is my story

8 years ago I starting dating a none Muslim guy, I was 17 at the time and he was 21. We dated for 5 years and got so strong. He was my first true love. I dated other men before (Muslim ones and hated it) where as with this guy, I loved him (still do)
Anyways he knew what my family were like, I used to lie all the time to my family, stay at his house everyday and come home at 11, it's like I lived my 5 years with him as a lie to my family.

One day my mother found out, she was hatred towards me, very bitter, told me to forget him and find a Muslim. She cursed him all the time, she hated it. My brothers eventually found out and then 5 years later in the relationship I ended it. During the 4th year dating he did start at looking to convert but it started to get complicated and was questioning things in the religion. It was in the 5th year he said to me he cant do it. He doesn't want to be Muslim. He wants to be accepted for who he is. Then I decided to end things. I was a mess and then 1 year passed and I heard he was dating again. My heart was in pieces. I couldn't breathe when I found out. Total knife in my heart. I started dating to help keep me distracted. I was a mess and yes I dated a none Muslim again to try heal me.

Anyways 2 years have now passed and this month (3weeks ago) I got a message from my ex. It was a song that said he will never forget me.
We exchange emails and caught up! It was nice to hear from him. He is doing so well in his life, owns a Lamborghini, is a business owner and so successful (all happened after we broke up)

He is still in his relationship and so am I.

A few days ago we decided to meet up secretly. One thing lead to another and flame was reignited. We slept with each other, it felt comfortable. But then a few days later we both regretted it as we are both in relationships.

I know what we done was bad, but we both still love each other. It was because I stopped loving him we broke. We stopped because of religion.

Now we Both are confused and we have spoken and agreed that this can be no more. He said we won't work at all, he doesn't want to be a Muslim and he doesn't want my family to disown me. He told me I need to find the right man.

So now I'm here, crying, hating the fact it was my religion that made us not be together.
If religion wasn't a part of it then we would be married by now, had kids and a lovely house.

What do I do?

Family: so mum has been to haaj and has become very religious, she's very culture orientated. She tells me tirelessly that I'm getting old '26 and I need to get married and settle down with a Muslim. My brothers are strong believers too.

What do I do?
Has anyone been in the situation

Hi everyone
I'm at an all time low right now and seeking some help and advise to get through this.
I would like to remain anonymous for now, I'm just worried I may know someone on here so need to protect my identity.

Okay here is my story

8 years ago I starting dating a none Muslim guy, I was 17 at the time and he was 21. We dated for 5 years and got so strong. He was my first true love. I dated other men before (Muslim ones and hated it) where as with this guy, I loved him (still do)
Anyways he knew what my family were like, I used to lie all the time to my family, stay at his house everyday and come home at 11, it's like I lived my 5 years with him as a lie to my family.

One day my mother found out, she was hatred towards me, very bitter, told me to forget him and find a Muslim. She cursed him all the time, she hated it. My brothers eventually found out and then 5 years later in the relationship I ended it. During the 4th year dating he did start at looking to convert but it started to get complicated and was questioning things in the religion. It was in the 5th year he said to me he cant do it. He doesn't want to be Muslim. He wants to be accepted for who he is. Then I decided to end things. I was a mess and then 1 year passed and I heard he was dating again. My heart was in pieces. I couldn't breathe when I found out. Total knife in my heart. I started dating to help keep me distracted. I was a mess and yes I dated a none Muslim again to try heal me.

Anyways 2 years have now passed and this month (3weeks ago) I got a message from my ex. It was a song that said he will never forget me.
We exchange emails and caught up! It was nice to hear from him. He is doing so well in his life, owns a Lamborghini, is a business owner and so successful (all happened after we broke up)

He is still in his relationship and so am I.

A few days ago we decided to meet up secretly. One thing lead to another and flame was reignited. We slept with each other, it felt comfortable. But then a few days later we both regretted it as we are both in relationships.

I know what we done was bad, but we both still love each other. It was because I stopped loving him we broke. We stopped because of religion.

Now we Both are confused and we have spoken and agreed that this can be no more. He said we won't work at all, he doesn't want to be a Muslim and he doesn't want my family to disown me. He told me I need to find the right man.

So now I'm here, crying, hating the fact it was my religion that made us not be together.
If religion wasn't a part of it then we would be married by now, had kids and a lovely house.

What do I do?

Family: so mum has been to haaj and has become very religious, she's very culture orientated. She tells me tirelessly that I'm getting old '26 and I need to get married and settle down with a Muslim. My brothers are strong believers too.

What do I do?
Has anyone been in the situation

Wait so you were both in other relationships and slept with each other ?

This is really stupid. Just quit your 'religion'. Do you honestly think that God will reward you for making yourself miserable (if he even exists)..........

That's unhelpful and insensitive, she can't just tear off a part of her identity like a sticking plaster.