Original post by Kinkajou93Hey there,
As I am writing this, my girlfriend is away in a hotel right now doing god knows what with any man who can pay what she charges, and it hurts so much.
We were quite deep into our relationship when I found out what she does in the worst possible way, when I came home one day to hear her in the bedroom with another man. I already had suspicions as to what she did and this just confirmed it.
Well, as much as you may judge me for it, i stayed with her, because I see the best in her, and I know she doesnt want to do it but she has been doing it for a few years ever since she moved to England from the Czech Republic and she feels financially dependent on it. We are both studying at uni as of September and so I cant see her stopping any time soon as she will need to support herself through her education.
Now I dont judge girls who choose to sell sex. Thats their choice and it is very rewarding finanically, but when a commited relationship is thrown into the mix, it obviously creates huge problems.
She does ensure her safety, including health related, and I enforce it by making sure she takes precautions when dealing with these guys shes going to sleep with, such as having an alarm with her, messaging me when she is safe, and being selective in who she chooses to see. She also doesnt do the worst things sexually, she always uses protection and doesnt kiss etc.
Emotionally, it wrecks me. To know that tons and tons of mainly older guys are using the girl i want to marry as nothing but sex makes me sick. I cant help but visualise what shes doing, and it torments me to think about it.
I guess its comparable to being cheated on every single day, just that money is exchanged, but to me it doesnt change the emotional impact of it.
Its also made me more protective and territorial. Its as if I have a public girlfriend, and so I try to ensure that when I'm with her, I feel like shes mine and im hers, because when your having to share your girlfriend every day it makes you question whether she is just your partner or a girlfriend for hire.
Sadly, there is nothing I can do to get her out of it atm, I dont have much money for as long as im a student and although she wants to stop, she wont make anything near what she makes now from working in a bar, although for me, id rather be poor as hell but still have each other over having material possessions and being cheated on every day.
Ive tried to ask for help in dealing with it on escort forums, but it just seems that a vast majority of escorts and punters have such deluded outlooks on relationships and sex, and they make out that I am unfair, possessive and wierd because I have a problem with my girlfriend getting screwed by other men 3 times a day. Well yes! I think it would be more of a problem if I didnt care at all, i mean seriously who the hell wouldnt find this difficult?? And i think i deserve credit for standing up and loving my partner where most other men couldnt, but instead they just criticise me.
And so I turn to here.
Has anybody else ever had a similar experience that they could share? How do I cope with this? I love her so much and dont want to leave her, but its so painful.
Thanks in advance.
J