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Family threatening to disown me, says I lack respect?

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It's sad they love their religion more than you. OP, move out, move on, live life on your terms.
Do you love them?

Would you like to maintain good relations with them?
Original post by 1010marina
It's sad they love their religion more than you. OP, move out, move on, live life on your terms.


Culture not religion. Religion states boys should be married off as soon as they reach puberty (15).




Culture nor reli
This is why I think religion is a bad idea, all these ****ing stupid rules and notions that bring more upset than anything. If you believe in God and want to please him, be a good person and focus on having morals. Whatever the supposed reward or punishment, I'm sure you wouldn't be overlooked for not following the golden rules despite the fact that you clearly have a good heart and don't do wrong by anybody.
Original post by Anonymous
Culture not religion. Religion states boys should be married off as soon as they reach puberty (15).
Culture nor reli


Alright then, it's painfully sad OP's family love the culture of another country more than their own child.

Have you ever heard the story about the chimpanzees and the ladder?
http://www.wisdompills.com/2014/05/28/the-famous-social-experiment-5-monkeys-a-ladder/

Please take from this what you will.
Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes
I told my mum I didn't believe in God and that God isn't real and if he was people wouldn't go through such awful things, she said that "God is teaching us all a lesson" and I said "What lesson is being taught when a woman is raped and develops a sexually transmitted disease and then it get passed on in the womb to her innocent child?"

She told me to "Shut up and stop being disrespectful" even though I was being respectful and asking for reasons to understand why she believes God is real.


Oh **** fam you're being bare rude innit
Ugh this that is so annoying. Although my Mum wouldn't go as far as disowning me, she would be really angry if I told her that I wasn't a Christian (Although she has got a few hints and is annoyed about that already). Either way, I wouldnt even feel threatened if she wanted to disown me over something like that especially if I was 24.
Original post by 1010marina
It's sad they love their religion more than you. OP, move out, move on, live life on your terms.


Perfect advice.
Original post by Multitalented me
So I had a bit of an argument with my family just because I stood up for my own beliefs & said that I don't like their religion or culture, & I didn't want to live a life that I didn't want just so they could be happy. Then they accuse me of disrespect & threaten to disown me. I honestly feel as if they were being totally unreasonable. They shouldn't be able to have the final word on my major life decisions, if they want to disown me for following the path that I believe will make me most happy then I really don't know what else to say to them. I live in the UK not in their country, why can't they accept that. I'm not dishonoring the family at all just because I like to go out to have a laugh & mix with some white guy/girl friends. Anyone else who can relate at all? It's just so frustrating how unreasonable they are on the issue :colonhash:

Tbh mate my parents are very religious Christians and they want me to be a good Christian and worship Jesus Christ and I do it not because they tell me to but because I actually believe in Him.

You basically just need to decide whether your parents beliefs are what you believe and, if they're not, then you'll have to live your life according to your beliefs. Sometimes your lifestyle choices can conflict with your parents' wishes for you but you need to sit down with them, have another chat, negotiate and try and settle a deal which benefits both of you. If it doesn't then you'll have to go your own way and live your life without satisfying your parents' wishes. That would probably sow discord in your relationship with your parents and I'd recommend trying to compromise first because parents are precious and they've probably done a lot for you and you've spent your life around them. You don't want to lose that connection so try and negotiate with them and persuade them.
Original post by loveleest
Perfect advice.


Except he'll regret it later on after he's had his fun and most likely join the sinking ship that is the public of GB. Drinking yourself to oblivion on a Friday night is a clear sign of a society in decline and an empire that is crumbling.
Original post by Zayn is Bae
What's religion got to do with the fact people's parent's hold pretty stupid views? That's more to do with lack of education/conservative views held from the era they grew up in.


Those views and that disdain for education are both reinforced by the religion though. That's the point of religion. Science changes its views based on evidence, faith is the denial of evidence so as to preserve ones views.

Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes
It is selfish to expect your children to abide by a set of out dated, discriminatory, extremely restrictive rules.

It's so irritating, I am glad I'm still young (18) and haven't hit 25/26 ish yet because that's when I expect to be bombarded with my mothers expectations of marrying me off to someone who ticks all her boxes :colonhash:


Yeeaaaah, you've definitely gotta prepare yourself for that. Heard the story many many times. It's really sad that parents could be so selfish tbh.
I would say move out, you're 24 so you can get a job and your own place, and then from there you can do whatever you want :smile: I've always seen it as whenever I'm living with my parents, they have authority on most matters which I have to respect, obviously not marriage like in your situation though but things like inviting friends over and staying out late etc :tongue: Their house their rules and all....

If I were you and I had such a toxic relationship with my parents I'd be out of the door for uni and never try to move back in ie get a job far away or something.
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Avatar for S1939
S1939
8
I assume they've raised you, fed you, sheltered you. It's not that hard man, just listen/take into account their advice. If you don't think it's right for- discuss that with them.
Don't be fooled by people on here who want to place doubts in your head. Your family may not be around for long, so please cherish and love them- even if it means sacrificing your own desires. I bet 100% that our families have sacrificed so much for us.
Don't hasten anything man. Relationships take time to build- sacrifice that time and energy.
Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes
I told my mum I didn't believe in God and that God isn't real and if he was people wouldn't go through such awful things, she said that "God is teaching us all a lesson" and I said "What lesson is being taught when a woman is raped and develops a sexually transmitted disease and then it get passed on in the womb to her innocent child?"

She told me to "Shut up and stop being disrespectful" even though I was being respectful and asking for reasons to understand why she believes God is real.


I know this probably has nothing to do with the thread, but since the problem of evil has been a hot-topic in religious discourse for centuries, I think we should look at some of the responses to the PoE that have been given by learned scholars and mystics from Sikh background, or better yet read what the Gurus had to say about it in their own words. In my experience most Sikhs today, including our parents and grandparents, have a very limited understanding of Sikhi; they merely believe what was taught to them in childhood, without having made an attempt to truly contemplate upon their beliefs and whether of not they're logically consistent. It's an interesting topic and I'd love to discuss it, if you're interested?
Original post by Dima-Blackburn
I know this probably has nothing to do with the thread, but since the problem of evil has been a hot-topic in religious discourse for centuries, I think we should look at some of the responses to the PoE that have been given by learned scholars and mystics from Sikh background, or better yet read what the Gurus had to say about it in their own words. In my experience most Sikhs today, including our parents and grandparents, have a very limited understanding of Sikhi; they merely believe what was taught to them in childhood, without having made an attempt to truly contemplate upon their beliefs and whether of not they're logically consistent. It's an interesting topic and I'd love to discuss it, if you're interested?


Sure, go ahead. I'd like to discuss it.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Multitalented me
So I had a bit of an argument with my family just because I stood up for my own beliefs & said that I don't like their religion or culture, & I didn't want to live a life that I didn't want just so they could be happy. Then they accuse me of disrespect & threaten to disown me. I honestly feel as if they were being totally unreasonable. They shouldn't be able to have the final word on my major life decisions, if they want to disown me for following the path that I believe will make me most happy then I really don't know what else to say to them. I live in the UK not in their country, why can't they accept that. I'm not dishonoring the family at all just because I like to go out to have a laugh & mix with some white guy/girl friends. Anyone else who can relate at all? It's just so frustrating how unreasonable they are on the issue :colonhash:


Honestly I wouldn't listen to the people saying stuff about how your family are awful for loving their religion more than you. Its a very self-centred, only-care-about-yourself attitude.
Look at your family's point of view:
If they are muslims they probably genuinely believe that you will go to Hell, not just for leaving the religion but for not obeying and respecting them (as Islam really focusses on the respecting and listening to your parents)
I am sure they do love you (hopefully!) and just don't want you to suffer in the afterlife. They want you to go to heaven!!
From what I've read kiddo, you obviously don't care about practising Islam.

I don't condone what your parents did or said to you but your attitude stinks as well as your reasoning for why partying / mixing with drinkers is OK. My advice isn't to read the Qur'an or go see your local Imam, it's to just flat out leave Islam and spare your family the ordeal of supporting an ungrateful Infidel. Maybe run away and after 20 years write some bs book demonizing your former religion and family thereby blanketing us all with the same ******** just for some £££ from book sales hence making the lives of 1 billion something Muslims much worse. kthanksbye.
Original post by Multitalented me
Exactly! I do respect my family but on key issues like religious/cultural ones I just can't, & hate how they try & guilt trip me. If they want to disown me for following my dreams & doing what I believe will make me feel happy then I'd probably better off not seeing them again, no matter how difficult it would be at the start.


How do you respect your family ? If your coming late their house which is something their unhappy about then its not respecting their rules if you live there is it. Do they know you go to pubs ? Which dreams do you want to follow ?
Original post by Anonymous
From what I've read kiddo, you obviously don't care about practising Islam.

I don't condone what your parents did or said to you but your attitude stinks as well as your reasoning for why partying / mixing with drinkers is OK. My advice isn't to read the Qur'an or go see your local Imam, it's to just flat out leave Islam and spare your family the ordeal of supporting an ungrateful Infidel. Maybe run away and after 20 years write some bs book demonizing your former religion and family thereby blanketing us all with the same ******** just for some £££ from book sales hence making the lives of 1 billion something Muslims much worse. kthanksbye.


gosh someone is clearly annoyed
I'm leaning to agnosticism atm and if I told my parents they would flip.

But then again, I'd rather be a good person who isn't sure if God exists rather than a religious filthy hypocrite.

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