Can't get a date/relationship

I never said treat women like rubbish.

But too much respect is worse than being a knob if you want results. We can all see this.

I don't have much to go on but I already get the impression that you wouldn't be particularly fun to talk to. Don't take this the wrong way. It is often not what you say but how you say it. I suspect you lack any kind of charisma. Luckily this can be fixed to an extent.

You never answered my question. Have you ever asked anyone out directly?

this is good stuff I went from being you OP back when I was 14/15 and now I have to virtually bat women away then again maybe it the diamonds, or the Rolexes even

I think it may be a combination of social difficulties and 'nice guy' attitude.


Firstly, have you actually ever asked anyone out directly? If you don't ask you don't get. Perhaps you are too passive.

I think you may be held back by your respect for women. There is often at least a hint of misogyny in most men that do well with women. Being 'nice' will not get you anywhere at this stage in your life. Unfair but true.

This sounds exactly like future me - I'm going to university this September and hope/hoped my luck would change there, as I've always been rejected so far, but I'm increasingly scared that it won't be the case. Like OP, I don't drink so won't be extremely extroverted on nights out.

I won't take what you have said the wrong way, but it is another assumption, assuming that I would not be fun/lack charisma. Just like the assumption that all women like men who don't treat them well (or act like that to an extent). I have plenty of friends that like me for who I am. Surely, if I lacked charisma, or was boring, I wouldn't have a chance of making any friends, let alone getting a girlfriend. My approach towards women is not being over the top nice, as you have described. I am my normal self. No OTT nice but not a idiot either. I don't see what's wrong with that.

Hi

I am a 24 year old guy and I have had no luck at all with dating/relationships. I've been to university and I would have thought that my luck would change and that I would meet a woman there to date or get a girlfriend (because everybody and I mean everybody gets dates/girlfriends there). After uni, I have still not dated or had a girlfriend. I am a virgin, and I feel rubbish. I would not consider myself bad looking and I have got a good personality. I am kind, sensitive, good sense of humour, easy to talk to, down to earth,not arrogant, go to the gym etc. Whenever I have started talking to women (if it is in person or on dating websites), the conversation only goes so far and they seem to be stand offish. I am not saying that as a generalisation about women, but in my experience, they have been standoffish towards me. When talking to them, I can speak to them easily and am not creepy/desperate/awkward so I find it difficult to see why all of them are like that towards me.

When I was at uni, there was a massive drinking culture (as it is in every uni), but although I am not a socially inept person , I didn't drink and was not as extrovert as some drunk guys. I also think generally that it is supposed to be easy to meet someone on nights out, but could not do this due to the above. I also get the impression that women prefer the "jock" types , and I am not a jock. Although I am a perfectly nice person, I get the impression that they want somebody who isn't as nice which contradicts logic in my opinion.

Anyway, I feel like rubbish as I am a virgin and have not dated or had a relationship and I am in my mid twenties! I was wondering if anybody could give me advice to improve my situation and is it really stupid that I am still a vrgin?

Honestly I prefer nice "boring" guys over the "jock" type. They were so high school, Im done with them now. Anyways you sound nice and the type of guy I would date minus going on dating websites and actively seeking out girls to date and feeling bad because you're a virgin. I'm a model and the shiit thing is nice guys think they're not my type and that I prefer the kind of guys you're talking about all the other girls prefer and find me intimidating to approach, and those cocky "jock" types think they could woo me when really i want nothing to do with them. The only way Id ever be with one is if I wanted a one night stand and some kinky hot sex which even then I wouldn't fucck them. Look point is, if you just want a **** buddy, it won't be too hard to find one, just be confident I suppose. But if you're looking for proper relationship, stop looking and it'll come to youu. And if it's just about losing your virginity, just go have a one night stand. Thats just my personal opinion though.

But if you're looking for proper relationship, stop looking and it'll come to youu..

Out of interest how would you ask someone out directly?

I will try to help you.

PM me a copy/paste of some of your conversations, or even PM me for my Skype so you can send me screenshots.

Then I can see where you are going wrong in these conversations and steer you in the right direction.

It is quite ridiculous how much a few words can turn someone on to you... Or off to you...

Approach women and just have a conversation, it doesn't have to lead to anywhere, the more you acclimatise yourself to this, the easier it will get. You've got nothing to lose, the worst will happen is just a bad reaction, there are plenty of women out there and you have the option of dating someone older, same age or younger than younger than you.

Girls don't like nice guys, be nice, but confident and as a user stated, women prefer 'jocks'. You need confidence, don't care what people think, accept yourself, do things that make you happy, focus on your goals, make friends, do things you enjoy, believe in yourself, be optimistic, take risks, be proud of yourself, achieve.

Keep going to the gym, dress sharp, have a good hairstyle, smell well. This all effects the way you feel and how you are perceived.

When talking to women, be jovial, interested in them, be charming. Just take the initiative and talk.

Join clubs of interest or classes, it could be anything and you may just find that someone. You could do internet dating, speed dating, have job and meet someone through work, these all increase the possibilities of a date or relationship happening.

Stranger or friend?

Just casual ask a friend if they are free for a coffee this weekend or whenever. Don't be explicit about it.

If a stranger a good method is the "hey, there, could you help me for a moment? I'm looking for... *scratch head, look confused, eye them up a little* your number. I've been searching for it for so long... Could you help me out? Then of course compliment them on their dress and just be humble in why you approached (read - well I just thought you looked really pretty and that I may as well try and see if you would be interested!). That works about 30% of the time for me. Confidence and attractiveness of both you and the girl will affect it though. But if you just do it for an hour you're gonna easy get one number and the more you do it the more confident you get.

How to raise the odds? For strangers?