Can't get a date/relationship

Reply 40

username1726117

14

Original post by TorpidPhil

Be more attractive - Speak more confidently, dress better.

Stuff like this doesn't work. Trust me.

Reply 41

TorpidPhil

19

It gets you attention in the first place for sure.

Whether or not that leads to a long lasting relationship is a different matter entirely.

Reply 42

username1726117

14

Original post by TorpidPhil

It gets you attention in the first place for sure.

Not in my experience. Not saying it doesn't work, just it doesn't always. :smile:

Reply 43

Earlylifecrisis

2

Original post by nonononononono

Hi

I am a 24 year old guy and I have had no luck at all with dating/relationships. I've been to university and I would have thought that my luck would change and that I would meet a woman there to date or get a girlfriend (because everybody and I mean everybody gets dates/girlfriends there). After uni, I have still not dated or had a girlfriend. I am a virgin, and I feel rubbish. I would not consider myself bad looking and I have got a good personality. I am kind, sensitive, good sense of humour, easy to talk to, down to earth,not arrogant, go to the gym etc. Whenever I have started talking to women (if it is in person or on dating websites), the conversation only goes so far and they seem to be stand offish. I am not saying that as a generalisation about women, but in my experience, they have been standoffish towards me. When talking to them, I can speak to them easily and am not creepy/desperate/awkward so I find it difficult to see why all of them are like that towards me.

When I was at uni, there was a massive drinking culture (as it is in every uni), but although I am not a socially inept person , I didn't drink and was not as extrovert as some drunk guys. I also think generally that it is supposed to be easy to meet someone on nights out, but could not do this due to the above. I also get the impression that women prefer the "jock" types , and I am not a jock. Although I am a perfectly nice person, I get the impression that they want somebody who isn't as nice which contradicts logic in my opinion.

Anyway, I feel like rubbish as I am a virgin and have not dated or had a relationship and I am in my mid twenties! I was wondering if anybody could give me advice to improve my situation and is it really stupid that I am still a vrgin?

You say you're confused as to why women always come across quite standoff-ish and you being a nice guy but all that post does it make me think the opposite! Just because you feel the conversation went well doesn't mean they were feeling the same.

However, I'm sure it is just a case of being unfortunate. The world of online dating is not a good atmosphere! Good luck in the future!

Reply 44

TorpidPhil

19

Nothing always works. It's about increasing your chances.

Reply 45

ImNotReallyMe

15

Original post by nonononononono

Hi

I am a 24 year old guy and I have had no luck at all with dating/relationships. I've been to university and I would have thought that my luck would change and that I would meet a woman there to date or get a girlfriend (because everybody and I mean everybody gets dates/girlfriends there). After uni, I have still not dated or had a girlfriend. I am a virgin, and I feel rubbish. I would not consider myself bad looking and I have got a good personality. I am kind, sensitive, good sense of humour, easy to talk to, down to earth,not arrogant, go to the gym etc. Whenever I have started talking to women (if it is in person or on dating websites), the conversation only goes so far and they seem to be stand offish. I am not saying that as a generalisation about women, but in my experience, they have been standoffish towards me. When talking to them, I can speak to them easily and am not creepy/desperate/awkward so I find it difficult to see why all of them are like that towards me.

When I was at uni, there was a massive drinking culture (as it is in every uni), but although I am not a socially inept person , I didn't drink and was not as extrovert as some drunk guys. I also think generally that it is supposed to be easy to meet someone on nights out, but could not do this due to the above. I also get the impression that women prefer the "jock" types , and I am not a jock. Although I am a perfectly nice person, I get the impression that they want somebody who isn't as nice which contradicts logic in my opinion.

Anyway, I feel like rubbish as I am a virgin and have not dated or had a relationship and I am in my mid twenties! I was wondering if anybody could give me advice to improve my situation and is it really stupid that I am still a vrgin?

I think you should study up and read about this stuff to get a better understanding if you're serious about it, understanding women will help a lot, for example, the reason girls don't always go for the nicest guy is because we're in tune with our emotions more, we like guys who give us the ability to experience a whole range of emotions, the 'bad' guys usually have more excitement and unpredictability to them that help women feel all the different emotions, at the same time we do like the good guys, that's why many get confused about what girls want and why they say they like nice guys but never choose them. It doesn't mean you have to be a rebel, you just got to tap into that side by whatever methods those dating gurus teach out there

So studying this stuff helps!

Reply 46

Analyst89

20

Original post by Anonymous

I'm similar to OP but my problem is that I can't approach and say hi. I get panic attacks if i see a pretty girl even looking at me. I honestly wanna hang myself sometimes. If someone else makes the first move then i'll go along but i've been feeling a paranoid level of anxiety over the past month and i don't know why.

Volunteer, in this way, you are in an environment where you have to talk to women, however, you will not be judged, you are just providing a service to them or causal talk.

I know it's tough, however, change your beliefs about women in general, what beliefs do you have? Your not good looking enough, not smart enough, not interesting enough?

You also have a fear of rejection, however, these women do not know you, just keep going, there are plenty of women. Just don't expect nothing, you might be thinking too much of the outcome where you should just stop thinking and let it be.

Start small, then keep going, what you find hard know will become easier later, don't wait to approach, approach today. also make good eye contact.

Integrate these steps one at a time, make eye contact, smile and say hi, have a conversation, ask about their plans for their day, what they are planning to do, what they are about, be charming. Speak with a clear, deep voice, stay calm and centred, do things slowly.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 47

username1726117

14

I'VE FINALLY DISCOVERED IT! THE SECRET TO ATTRACTING WOMEN!

DON'T DO ANYTHING WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!!

Obviously a joke, but sadly I legit got told yesterday that because it looked as if I had my life together it intimated this person and it's why they wouldn't consider ever dating me. GG WP.

Anyway, OP, don't fret; just stick your neck out there and see what happens. You seem a good guy, so you'll sweep someone off their feet in no time.

Reply 48

Anonymous #2

You know i read something similar on male dominated forum. Basically being on top of your **** intimidates people and makes you seem less human. It's what I do to try and deal with the fact that I feel inferior and defective even though everyone around me likes me and thinks im cool.

When i was a layabout with nothing going for myself I struggled with women, now when i'm racing to get my life in order, it comes across as snobbish as my cousins have commented. You just can't win.

Reply 49

Profesh

20

Original post by nonononononono

As I said in my post, I do not have social difficulties. I am just not extrovert in comparison to say some drunk guys. I can actually go out clubbing, enjoy myself, talk to women in situations when I am not drunk, so I don't think its got anything to do with social difficulties. I have the confidence to do this.

Also, I would not consider myself to be "nice" as in so nice, you're in the friend zone. What I meant was I am nice in the sense that I have nice qualities such as the ones mentioned above, but not so nice over the top that its cringeworthy. I was trying to illustrate that I am not a completed tool who treats women like rubbish. Anyway, its not in my nature to be a knob towards women, and I think doing so would worsen my chances with them.

Why don't you drink?

Reply 50

Anonymous #3

Yep same boat here. You can't fake being 'bad' because it'll come across as trying too hard but can't be passive because they gets you nowhere. Saying certain things to girls only work if you're the 'right' type of person; being socially unpopular or ugly will just mean you having to deal with more problems than you started out with

Reply 51

sy!Â¡

19

Original post by Anonymous

Yep same boat here. You can't fake being 'bad' because it'll come across as trying too hard but can't be passive because they gets you nowhere. Saying certain things to girls only work if you're the 'right' type of person; being socially unpopular or ugly will just mean you having to deal with more problems than you started out with