How many friends do you still keep in contact with after university?

So I graduated today and I'm a bit worried that my friends will cease to keep in contact with me. I am willing to message them every now and then but it just won't be the same as at uni.

I'd like to know for you graduates, how many friends from uni do you still talk to since you graduated?

Reply 1

President J

Everyone is busy. Unless you make time to meet up or even text.... Also, someone that wants to stay in contact will, don't fall for "I'm busy", everyone is.

Reply 2

username1726117

I'll let you know in a few years. :wink:

If it's anything like college was, not many at all. :tongue:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by President J

Everyone is busy. Unless you make time to meet up or even text.... Also, someone that wants to stay in contact will, don't fall for "I'm busy", everyone is.

Meaning I'm busy is just an excuse?

Reply 4

Anonbabes

Aha😂. I'm only in touch with like 3 close friends from College. The rest gradually acted cold so had to let go

Reply 5

Bang Outta Order

Original post by UWS

Grats bruh. And I was constantly social at uni, had loads of acquaintances but a handful of actual connections, although they're not much like my mates outside of uni. So it's a text here and there, after term, as opposed to long intellectual conversations over lunch breaks, like during term. I btw didn't go away for uni so most people lived kinda close to campus so no one wouldn't really miss each other. But when term is over there's less of a reason to talk.

Reply 6

UWS

Sounds like what I expected then

Reply 7

sr90

Volunteer Team

Most uni friendships are simply formed out of convenience unfortunately. You'll keep in touch with a handful and the rest will just disappear from your life as quickly as they appeared into it.

Reply 8

MagicNMedicine

I don't meet up with them as much now if we are in different cities but I chat on whatsapp quite regularly to my better friends from university, its like we have our own different lives in different places so aren't "friends" on the same level (ie seeing each other a lot, going out and doing stuff) but we still chat about football, politics, life in general on Whatsapp and then a few times a year will arrange a meet up.

One of my old uni friends bought a house in a similar area to where we used to live as students so he invited a few of us up to spend a week with him and we revisited old times.

Reply 9

UWS

Original post by MagicNMedicine

That's good, you still talk occasionally and meet up. I would like that with my friends.

Original post by sr90

Most uni friendships are simply formed out of convenience unfortunately. You'll keep in touch with a handful and the rest will just disappear from your life as quickly as they appeared into it.

As much as I don't like it, you're probably right with what you said. It's sad because I feel that I made some good friends at uni, especially in the final year. I do try to make an effort to keep my friendship going though. In secondary school I probably only stay friends with 1 or 2 people, of which I meet up every few weeks.

I think post-uni will be different as everyone has their own career path and is working. Should I just accept that 99% of my friends will abandon me?

Reply 10

*Thedreaming*

None

Friends for life my back foot *

Reply 11

_Sinnie_

I think it very much depends on the nature of the friendship. A lot of the people you get to know and hang out with are just for convenience, often the first few people you meet. I have maintained very good friendships with several of the people I hung out with at university.

I graduated in 2010 and in this year alone I have visited a friend, with 6 others, who has had a baby. I was at a friends birthday 3 weeks ago. I'm going to visit another friend this weekend, with between 4 and 7 of us meeting up twice in August. We then have our first wedding in December. This has been a particularly active year, but there are usually 2 meet ups per year. My 'best friend' and I are very similar and share a lot of interests, so we Skype and meet up a lot.

We are spread out from Cornwall to Newcastle as well, so lots of road trips and train journeys.

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

None - graduated 4 years ago. But I have 2 on Facebook. One is on the otherside of the world, other lives other end of the country - we met up once or twice but drifted. I don't keep in touch with any one from college at all (hated most of them) and the only person I keep in touch with from high school is my the person who was my best friend but even though we were literally best friends and spent a lot of time together, that was a long time ago and now we live in different cities and have different jobs/friends. It's actually quite sad now I've thought about it...we're on facebook but we don't actively message each other, last saw them 3 years ago. Adulthood is a *****.

Reply 13

jacinto downer

I have contact with 5 friends after university. Duration depends on the nature of friendship

Reply 14

President J

Original post by Anonymous

Meaning I'm busy is just an excuse?

Bingo.

Reply 15

sr90

Volunteer Team

Original post by UWS

I think post-uni will be different as everyone has their own career path and is working. Should I just accept that 99% of my friends will abandon me?

It's the same as it is with school or college, or when you leave a job. You still talk to the people who matter but most will just disappear. You're right about working though, I come home at 7pm and i'm too exhausted to do anything. It's not like uni where everyone would just be sat on FB Chat all night..

Reply 16

YoungerHamii2014

I keep in touch with a couple of people from primary, secondary school, sixth form and Uni friends as of now. The post-Uni life is brutal af: my best friend, whom I went to the same primary and secondary school with and shared so many classes with, is a very career-driven person (more so than me) so doesn't really prioritise spending time with me and probably his other friends, my other primary/secondary school friend is another "Uni party" friend sadly because most of our interaction (however good and satisfying it was) have been at Uni and we didn't really talk back in school.

As with Uni friends, I agree that they're heavily based on convenience and I think they lack sentimental, as much as I believe the nature of the friendships can possibly make convenience less important, because you're coming from all different parts of the world and the very thing that brings everyone together at Uni when a Fresher is the very thing that ends up making them drift apart once your time at Uni is up, the same goes with school friends once you start Uni. You're lucky if any of your Uni friends live in the same town or city as you, even so they'll be too busy as a adult whether it's with having a job, seeing family, school friends or are so poor to even afford to travel down to meet you and have a drink. With the sentimental part it's from personal experience because one of my Uni friends has gone abroad for a year and we didn't even give it a thought that the massive Uni party we were long set on going to would be the last time we would see him for a long while, something that probably would happen if it was a secondary school friend.

I believe the strength of friendships are generally circumstantial: if you have friends you have common interests and personalities with, share a lot of memories together with and lived quite close to one another then those friendships will last the longest, once one of the factors are taken away the friendships become less "visible", as is the case with your "Uni" friends when the term finishes or you graduate for example. You're reduced to the odd text or two about something that's happened or keeping up with their statuses on Facebook (which I reluctantly do because of the drama Facebook can cause) or tweets on Twitter. That's it, plus as you get older and change as a person you'll eventually drift apart.

I'm starting my final year at Uni in October and It's very sad having given much thought about what's ahead of me, it's a pre-warning and the signs are there already but it's a fact of adult life and I'm starting to adjust to it all in the best way possible. Sorry about the long post, thought I'd break down some harsh realities

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 17

myblueheaven339

I have four close friends that I meet up with semi regularly. We usually get together in a fairly mutually convenient city for a day out. I haven't seen the girls I lived with for a long time.

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