I can see your frustration. I definitely place a lot of importance on the person and their mindset before anything else but I'd be lying if I said looks didn't matter, as would any human unless they're physically incapable of noticing looks. Even then, an idea would be made based on voice and sounds. We all look at physical features, we're programmed to.
I found a quote some time ago on Facebook or something, and as gay (yes, that word has MULTIPLE definitions, look it up before you flame me) as it sounds, I think I swear by it. It goes along the lines of "When you start to fall in love with a person's personality, everything else about them becomes beautiful" and I think it's very accurate. Looks are entirely subjective and I'm sick of others telling me what I should and shouldn't find attractive.
Wow, that's turned into a rant, sorry.
In conclusion, yeah I get annoyed when people act like looks mean nothing because that's a blatant lie but I understand people who say they're less important than other factors. I wouldn't date someone based entirely on how they look and I don't think many others would either.