22 and never had a boyfriend
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I'm 22 and haven't done anything either. I'm scared of having to kiss someone for the first time and screwing it up at my age.
I don't know where to meet people and I feel like I should just buy some cats and skip to the next stage of my life.
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I don't know where to meet people and I feel like I should just buy some cats and skip to the next stage of my life.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by theBranicAc
what if its written that she'll never have a bf?
Then she won't have a boyfriend and will mean it is best that she does not get one. However does not mean she can't try to get one or whatever.
Original post by ckfeister
Normal for studying nerds
You mean people with a brain, right?
Original post by Reda2
Then she won't have a boyfriend and will mean it is best that she does not get one. However does not mean she can't try to get one or whatever.
your just contradicitng yourself
you said its 'written and cannot be changed'
everyone human has got a brain
I wonder how many elderly virgins there are.
OP I'm 24 and never had a relationship, although I'm not totally inexperienced either. I'm not someone to want a relationship for the sake of it and the guys I've liked haven't wanted a relationship with me and tbh there haven't been that many guys attracted to me at all.
Original post by stefano865
Have you ever asked a guy out?
No I would not ask a guy out I would rather them approach me. I'd feel too keen plus my friends all got approached so I want that to happen to me to know that he was attracted.
Original post by 133221333123111
This is going to sound brutal but hopefully it is a wakeup call for you.
I know exactly what this (the quoted part) feels like and it's not nice but feeling sorry for ourselves is useless, even though it feels natural. I do feel sorry for myself to some exxtent, due to an annoying health condition that I have which I feel does not make me 'competitive' in the 'market' - I would say what it is but only people who suffer from it (can't remember the number, maybe 5% of the population) would understand how it makes you feel, but that is beside the point as this thread is about you.
You can't, can't, can't expect someone to come and find you if you don't put yourself out there, unless you're an absolute stunner, which most people aren't if looks/personaility were normally distributed. You need, need, need to put yourself out there. If you've been rejected over the course of your university years then you would have my sympathy. Maybe you would have been doing something wrong or it was out of your control.
However, by sitting there and doing nothing you are doing something wrong but that part is not out of your control. It is very easy to have a negative mindset, not put yourself out there, get stuck further into a negative mindset and have it as a vicious cycle, but that is something that you need to change. You just have to try or you will not succeed.
Also, anyone that tells you that 'you'll be happy one day' or 'you'll find someone' is just spewing wishy-washy nonsense. That's not how things work in life. Okay, they may be trying to make you feel better and it's the thought that counts, but you can't take on board what they say. If you want change, you have to take charge of things and do it for yourself.
I know exactly what this (the quoted part) feels like and it's not nice but feeling sorry for ourselves is useless, even though it feels natural. I do feel sorry for myself to some exxtent, due to an annoying health condition that I have which I feel does not make me 'competitive' in the 'market' - I would say what it is but only people who suffer from it (can't remember the number, maybe 5% of the population) would understand how it makes you feel, but that is beside the point as this thread is about you.
You can't, can't, can't expect someone to come and find you if you don't put yourself out there, unless you're an absolute stunner, which most people aren't if looks/personaility were normally distributed. You need, need, need to put yourself out there. If you've been rejected over the course of your university years then you would have my sympathy. Maybe you would have been doing something wrong or it was out of your control.
However, by sitting there and doing nothing you are doing something wrong but that part is not out of your control. It is very easy to have a negative mindset, not put yourself out there, get stuck further into a negative mindset and have it as a vicious cycle, but that is something that you need to change. You just have to try or you will not succeed.
Also, anyone that tells you that 'you'll be happy one day' or 'you'll find someone' is just spewing wishy-washy nonsense. That's not how things work in life. Okay, they may be trying to make you feel better and it's the thought that counts, but you can't take on board what they say. If you want change, you have to take charge of things and do it for yourself.
So how would you say putting myself out there is? I am so sociable, part of sports clubs, I work as well as study and I love nights out. I pretty much have put myself out there for years.
Original post by jroo
No I would not ask a guy out I would rather them approach me. I'd feel too keen plus my friends all got approached so I want that to happen to me to know that he was attracted.
You will need to take action yourself imo.
Original post by stefano865
You will need to take action yourself imo.
Such as? I'm a very sociable person.
Original post by jroo
Such as? I'm a very sociable person.
Approaching guys.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/catherine-chen-phd/operation-charisma_b_3561493.html
Original post by stefano865
It just feels a lot nicer because if they approach you, you know they are interested.
(edited 7 years ago)
Have you tried online dating, there are a lots of online dating websites and I'm sure guys will make advances towards you. Also you should try speed dating, joining clubs of interest and going out a bit more.
If you see a guy you like, make eye contact with him!
Be more attractive, work out at the gym, wear sexy clothes, smell well, groom well, smile more, have confident body language, be more bubbly and interesting!
Good luck!
If you see a guy you like, make eye contact with him!
Be more attractive, work out at the gym, wear sexy clothes, smell well, groom well, smile more, have confident body language, be more bubbly and interesting!
Good luck!
@jroo
I'll start off by saying that as an individual I find a woman with no experience whatsoever very appealing, and I can imagine the same could be said for a lot of other men. The innocence you possess is an attractive quality, and one you shouldn't be ashamed of. I can understand your frustration and disappointment, but I believe that when you go find someone you click with you'll be very appreciative of having waited.
Now, I could have missed it as I skimmed the thread, but the first and foremost thing that comes to mind is; are you physically attractive? I know it's all very superficial but it's the one thing us men instinctively notice first. If you want honest feedback then by all means post a picture, send one to me or perhaps someone else. You may look intimidating ("resting *****" face?), you may be so attractive men believe you will be out of their league...any number of things.
You pursue hobbies, you're social and you work. That's great! You have a life of your own! Perhaps it is just a case of starting to approach men. I understand it is generally expected of us to do the approaching, but believe me we have our own fears and we have been rejected ourselves, and let's face it if you're Facebook page is anything like my own women do have a tendency to label men with even the slightest bit of confidence/assertiveness as "**** boys". Case in point; it's difficult for us because of how we're portrayed, and good men may not want to step up in fear of being shut down. Step up yourself, show people you're approachable, and then it will begin to work both ways.
Not sure what to suggest. You seem intelligent and mature, so you've got that going for you. Try not to fret, and most importantly love yourself.
I'll start off by saying that as an individual I find a woman with no experience whatsoever very appealing, and I can imagine the same could be said for a lot of other men. The innocence you possess is an attractive quality, and one you shouldn't be ashamed of. I can understand your frustration and disappointment, but I believe that when you go find someone you click with you'll be very appreciative of having waited.
Now, I could have missed it as I skimmed the thread, but the first and foremost thing that comes to mind is; are you physically attractive? I know it's all very superficial but it's the one thing us men instinctively notice first. If you want honest feedback then by all means post a picture, send one to me or perhaps someone else. You may look intimidating ("resting *****" face?), you may be so attractive men believe you will be out of their league...any number of things.
You pursue hobbies, you're social and you work. That's great! You have a life of your own! Perhaps it is just a case of starting to approach men. I understand it is generally expected of us to do the approaching, but believe me we have our own fears and we have been rejected ourselves, and let's face it if you're Facebook page is anything like my own women do have a tendency to label men with even the slightest bit of confidence/assertiveness as "**** boys". Case in point; it's difficult for us because of how we're portrayed, and good men may not want to step up in fear of being shut down. Step up yourself, show people you're approachable, and then it will begin to work both ways.
Not sure what to suggest. You seem intelligent and mature, so you've got that going for you. Try not to fret, and most importantly love yourself.
Original post by jroo
So how would you say putting myself out there is? I am so sociable, part of sports clubs, I work as well as study and I love nights out. I pretty much have put myself out there for years.
If you had mentioned that in your first post I would have replied differently - rather, you suggested the opposite by saying '...I don't go looking....'.
In that case. you have to think about what happened/happens in each of those situations and what you could be doing better. You could put yourself out there further by being the person who makes the effort to approach people, initiate the first few things and see where they lead (and if they don't make the effort back then just move on). I don't know if you do this already (it is a huge ask and might not instinctively feel like the right thing to do as a girl for some, but there you go). I don't know if you do this already as you have not said. But whether you do or don't, just always keep in mind what you can be doing better. If there is really nothing more to be done then I am sorry.
I really hate the everything happens for a reason stuff. Cayse and effect, then maybe, but some idea of fate, then thats a load of baloney.
OP everyone else has already said it, dont worry etc.
Go about enjoying your life and focusing on your confidence.
It doesnt do you any harm if you are sociable, you learn a little bit about flirting or feeling confident when you chat to people or even a bit about dating. I wouldnt wnat to get weightist but going down the gym and knowing how to make the best of yourself doesnt do you any harm either. It wouldnt do you any harm if instead of being too reserved then you engaged someone in conversation if you liked them or just as practice and if you really cnat wait, then its not a bad thing to ask someone out.
The only slight warning I have is that lots of bfs are rubbish, immature and selfish, so if they behave that way to you, then please dont hesitate to dump them. Do not become a prisoner of settling for a sub standard bf on the basis of any bf being better than none. Its just a rights of passage of kissing a lot of frogs first. Lots of people are in the same position. Just focus on you imo and be a bit patient.
OP everyone else has already said it, dont worry etc.
Go about enjoying your life and focusing on your confidence.
It doesnt do you any harm if you are sociable, you learn a little bit about flirting or feeling confident when you chat to people or even a bit about dating. I wouldnt wnat to get weightist but going down the gym and knowing how to make the best of yourself doesnt do you any harm either. It wouldnt do you any harm if instead of being too reserved then you engaged someone in conversation if you liked them or just as practice and if you really cnat wait, then its not a bad thing to ask someone out.
The only slight warning I have is that lots of bfs are rubbish, immature and selfish, so if they behave that way to you, then please dont hesitate to dump them. Do not become a prisoner of settling for a sub standard bf on the basis of any bf being better than none. Its just a rights of passage of kissing a lot of frogs first. Lots of people are in the same position. Just focus on you imo and be a bit patient.
Original post by jroo
Hi everyone,
Just wondering if someone can help me overcome this because I've tried to and don't understand why it has affected me so much. As the title says, I'm not 22, graduated university and never been in a relationship. When I say this, I mean no one has ever liked me, I've never had a thing with anyone or got intimate and been in love and it's starting to hurt a little. All of my friends have boyfriends, my best friend is so much in love that she will probably get engaged soon. It just hurts because obviously I've loads of time but when friends say they are having cuddles, going on dates etc as much as I'm pleased they're happy I also wish I had it. My best friend has been telling me for the last 3 years that it 'will happen one day' .. I don't go out looking for it because I know that'll just result in disappointment but the thought of never being in a relationship makes me feel like am I not good enough as a person or what am I doing wrong.
Thanks
Just wondering if someone can help me overcome this because I've tried to and don't understand why it has affected me so much. As the title says, I'm not 22, graduated university and never been in a relationship. When I say this, I mean no one has ever liked me, I've never had a thing with anyone or got intimate and been in love and it's starting to hurt a little. All of my friends have boyfriends, my best friend is so much in love that she will probably get engaged soon. It just hurts because obviously I've loads of time but when friends say they are having cuddles, going on dates etc as much as I'm pleased they're happy I also wish I had it. My best friend has been telling me for the last 3 years that it 'will happen one day' .. I don't go out looking for it because I know that'll just result in disappointment but the thought of never being in a relationship makes me feel like am I not good enough as a person or what am I doing wrong.
Thanks
I'm 20 and I never had a girlfriend in my life. I think its a better idea to think about relationships after your education is finished. Because, you don't have any stress of studying and you will have more time to think about relationships. Cheer up, you'll find someone a one day
.
Original post by Bear_123
I'm 20 and I never had a girlfriend in my life. I think its a better idea to think about relationships after your education is finished. Because, you don't have any stress of studying and you will have more time to think about relationships. Cheer up, you'll find someone a one day .
.You then end up with the stress of work soon enough!
Original post by jroo
Hi everyone,Just wondering if someone can help me overcome this because I've tried to and don't understand why it has affected me so much. As the title says, I'm not 22, graduated university and never been in a relationship. When I say this, I mean no one has ever liked me, I've never had a thing with anyone or got intimate and been in love and it's starting to hurt a little. All of my friends have boyfriends, my best friend is so much in love that she will probably get engaged soon. It just hurts because obviously I've loads of time but when friends say they are having cuddles, going on dates etc as much as I'm pleased they're happy I also wish I had it. My best friend has been telling me for the last 3 years that it 'will happen one day' .. I don't go out looking for it because I know that'll just result in disappointment but the thought of never being in a relationship makes me feel like am I not good enough as a person or what am I doing wrong. Thanks
(edited 5 years ago)
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