Ex bf replies to texts but never initiates them? Watch

User1536861
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What's going on in his head?

He is really responsive when I text him, replies within minutes, texts are longer than mine and he seems eager to talk to me. But I've started all 3 convos (after 2 weeks of no contact). It's been 4 days since we last talked :/ It just hurts that I guess he doesn't care anymore. I don't intend to take him back but the last convo we had before NC started ended on a positive (as positive as it can be anyway) note with mutual understanding and we share lots of mutual friends so I want to stay friends with him. Also strange as it sounds talking to him is really helping with the healing process

P.S. He broke up with me (lots of times in one month) but then went through great lengths to try and win me back. He said he still loves me and it was fear of commitment because he was cheated on in the past etc but says he's changed now. I was willing to risk being hurt again to see this "change" but I kept finding out lots of disrespectful/hurtful things he did to me behind my back during our relationship which led to the relationships demise...
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stargirl63
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(Original post by cajach)
What's going on in his head?

He is really responsive when I text him, replies within minutes, texts are longer than mine and he seems eager to talk to me. But I've started all 3 convos (after 2 weeks of no contact). It's been 4 days since we last talked :/ It just hurts that I guess he doesn't care anymore. I don't intend to take him back but we ended it on a positive (as positive as it can be anyway) note with mutual understanding and we share lots of mutual friends so I want to stay friends with him. Also strange as it sounds talking to him is really helping with the healing process

P.S. He broke up with me (lots of times in one month) but then went through great lengths to try and win me back. He said he still loves me and it was fear of commitment because he was cheated on in the past etc but says he's changed now. I was willing to risk being hurt again to see this "change" but I kept finding out lots of disrespectful/hurtful things he did to me behind my back during our relationship which led to the relationships demise...
Why do you want to give him a chance?
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Kevin De Bruyne
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Trick question, you shouldnt be texting or in contact with your ex given what you have written in your post. It is not easy I know, but you're better off when that happens.
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Paracosm
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(Original post by SeanFM)
Trick question, you shouldnt be texting or in contact with your ex given what you have written in your post. It is not easy I know, but you're better off when that happens.
Yeeessssssssssss!!!
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User1536861
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(Original post by SeanFM)
Trick question, you shouldnt be texting or in contact with your ex given what you have written in your post. It is not easy I know, but you're better off when that happens.
Fair point. He didn't treat me right but I don't think it was intentionally to hurt me either. He is a good guy and we share lots of friends. Also talking to him is helping me get over him strange as it sounds. But his lack of effort makes me feel like he never cared and was just using me. Was hoping someone would give me some insight into the male psyche hah
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User1536861
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(Original post by stargirl63)
Why do you want to give him a chance?
I'm not giving him another chance at us. But I do want to remain friends. According to daily mail that makes me a psychopath? Haha
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Ajsc
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(Original post by cajach)
I'm not giving him another chance at us. But I do want to remain friends. According to daily mail that makes me a psychopath? Haha
Funny thing is I have a similar thing with my ex lol, I want to remain friends with her as it helps rather than forgetting all the memories we have had together.
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sadixx
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(Original post by cajach)
What's going on in his head?

He is really responsive when I text him, replies within minutes, texts are longer than mine and he seems eager to talk to me. But I've started all 3 convos (after 2 weeks of no contact). It's been 4 days since we last talked :/ It just hurts that I guess he doesn't care anymore. I don't intend to take him back but we ended it on a positive (as positive as it can be anyway) note with mutual understanding and we share lots of mutual friends so I want to stay friends with him. Also strange as it sounds talking to him is really helping with the healing process

P.S. He broke up with me (lots of times in one month) but then went through great lengths to try and win me back. He said he still loves me and it was fear of commitment because he was cheated on in the past etc but says he's changed now. I was willing to risk being hurt again to see this "change" but I kept finding out lots of disrespectful/hurtful things he did to me behind my back during our relationship which led to the relationships demise...
seriously that is so rude, you need to get rid of him 👋🏿
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User1536861
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(Original post by Ajsc)
Funny thing is I have a similar thing with my ex lol, I want to remain friends with her as it helps get over her.
Right?! It seems so illogical but it helps so much. I guess that person was your emotional pillar for so long that personally it was more destructive than helpful to suddenly cut them from my life completely in a time where you need that emotional support more than ever.
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User1536861
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(Original post by sadixx)
seriously that is so rude, you need to get rid of him 👋🏿
It is I genuinely don't want to take him back but I don't want to cut him out completely. He's made some mistakes (well a lot actually) but he is a good guy.
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sadixx
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(Original post by cajach)
It is I genuinely don't want to take him back but I don't want to cut him out completely. He's made some mistakes (well a lot actually) but he is a good guy.
don't message him again, let him come to you
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User1536861
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(Original post by sadixx)
don't message him again, let him come to you
Yeah I wasn't planning on starting another one. Don't want to give him the impression I want him back. If he doesn't message I guess I'll just take the hint and leave him be. Thank you
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Kevin De Bruyne
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(Original post by cajach)
Fair point. He didn't treat me right but I don't think it was intentionally to hurt me either. He is a good guy and we share lots of friends. Also talking to him is helping me get over him strange as it sounds. But his lack of effort makes me feel like he never cared and was just using me. Was hoping someone would give me some insight into the male psyche hah
You're jumping to conclusions there which doesn't help, when you say that his lack of effort now suggests he 'never cared' - that's a bit of an overstatement, no? I don't know anything about either of you and I don't know what things he 'unintentionally' did so I can't comment on whether he never cared or not. Whether there is any 'insight' that someone can give about this guy, I don't know. Maybe one of your mutual friends who knows about these things can give you a much more well-informed opinion.

Also, you say that it's helping with the healing process. That may be true to some extent but you'd be surprised - perhaps subconsciously there'll be a part of you that isn't letting go, even if you cannot see that for yourself. If it's more trouble than it's worth though you should just slowly fade out from his life.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by User1536861)
What's going on in his head?

He is really responsive when I text him, replies within minutes, texts are longer than mine and he seems eager to talk to me. But I've started all 3 convos (after 2 weeks of no contact). It's been 4 days since we last talked :/ It just hurts that I guess he doesn't care anymore. I don't intend to take him back but the last convo we had before NC started ended on a positive (as positive as it can be anyway) note with mutual understanding and we share lots of mutual friends so I want to stay friends with him. Also strange as it sounds talking to him is really helping with the healing process

P.S. He broke up with me (lots of times in one month) but then went through great lengths to try and win me back. He said he still loves me and it was fear of commitment because he was cheated on in the past etc but says he's changed now. I was willing to risk being hurt again to see this "change" but I kept finding out lots of disrespectful/hurtful things he did to me behind my back during our relationship which led to the relationships demise...
He's messing with you. Don't text him anymore, no matter how tempted you are. It's for the best
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hykha
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(Original post by User1536861)
What's going on in his head?

He is really responsive when I text him, replies within minutes, texts are longer than mine and he seems eager to talk to me. But I've started all 3 convos (after 2 weeks of no contact). It's been 4 days since we last talked :/ It just hurts that I guess he doesn't care anymore. I don't intend to take him back but the last convo we had before NC started ended on a positive (as positive as it can be anyway) note with mutual understanding and we share lots of mutual friends so I want to stay friends with him. Also strange as it sounds talking to him is really helping with the healing process

P.S. He broke up with me (lots of times in one month) but then went through great lengths to try and win me back. He said he still loves me and it was fear of commitment because he was cheated on in the past etc but says he's changed now. I was willing to risk being hurt again to see this "change" but I kept finding out lots of disrespectful/hurtful things he did to me behind my back during our relationship which led to the relationships demise...
well to be honest i dont really know what you have been through in your relationship and all the mistakes that he has done to you and how much he has hurt you. I've just got one question for you, would u have done what he did to you? why or why not?
Last edited by hykha; 1 month ago
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MarkieMarkIE
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Wah Wah Wah just because you dont give me some mad head. 8 ball pool?
(Original post by User1536861)
What's going on in his head?

He is really responsive when I text him, replies within minutes, texts are longer than mine and he seems eager to talk to me. But I've started all 3 convos (after 2 weeks of no contact). It's been 4 days since we last talked :/ It just hurts that I guess he doesn't care anymore. I don't intend to take him back but the last convo we had before NC started ended on a positive (as positive as it can be anyway) note with mutual understanding and we share lots of mutual friends so I want to stay friends with him. Also strange as it sounds talking to him is really helping with the healing process

P.S. He broke up with me (lots of times in one month) but then went through great lengths to try and win me back. He said he still loves me and it was fear of commitment because he was cheated on in the past etc but says he's changed now. I was willing to risk being hurt again to see this "change" but I kept finding out lots of disrespectful/hurtful things he did to me behind my back during our relationship which led to the relationships demise...
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texet
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split up with you + wants you back = he's having life issues right now but due to his condition, probably can't be in a relationship. if you asked, he'd probably say yes, but it won't take long for another break up because he's going through ****. once the second break up happens, then you begin a spiral.

happened with my mom and dad, don't do it. drop him, talk to him in 6-12 months. IN PERSON, never on a text if you want to reconnect.
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Anonymous #2
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This. Me and my ex are now friends (not super close, but we can talk just the two of us without too much awkwardness) but this was only after pretty much 0 contact except for awkward forced situations (lots of Mutual friends, but even then we didn't say anything to eachother) for 12 months. Now it's been so long, we've both moved on, theres no pain left, or any feelings. Now she's just another girl I get along with.

But if you try when you've just broken up, all you're doing is clinging on to something that's gone. If you need them for support, sorry but that means you shouldn't use them for support. If you're not over it, then there's still some connection there. You have to break that connection before it can be a friendship again.

Trust me, it'll be easier to go cold turkey and then become friends again than try to stay friends and things still be awkward in 6 months,12 months, 18 months, because neither of you have let go yet.

He probably is just trying to let go but texting back because he still has feelings.
(Original post by texet)
split up with you + wants you back = he's having life issues right now but due to his condition, probably can't be in a relationship. if you asked, he'd probably say yes, but it won't take long for another break up because he's going through ****. once the second break up happens, then you begin a spiral.

happened with my mom and dad, don't do it. drop him, talk to him in 6-12 months. IN PERSON, never on a text if you want to reconnect.
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Shadow17!
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Hi, hope you are doing fine.
I think old has to make way for new ones, try to meet different people and yes if he did disrespectful things he doesn't deserve your attention to that extent. He even broke up with you many times maybe if you guys had issues you would have fought the problem together. Always remember, whenever you have a problem it is not you against your friend, bf or your loved ones but you both are against the problem ( heard my teacher saying)
Do talk to him but he if he never initiates then it is clear enough ... move on, give him the amount of attention he "deserves" and not the amount of attention you " want " to give him.
It is our life and it always wants our best so it will test us every time we are in a relationship, with yourself (our inner conflict) or with a different human.
As you talked of commitment he is not ready for any serious relationship and if this is what you wanted, a serious relationship, he is not the right person.
Accept your feelings, don't convince yourself you don't feel hurt and soon the intensity of the emotion will be less and you will be fine. There is this psychological fact that if you write down your emotions on a piece of paper and after you have filled the whole page with emotion, throw it in dustbin then you will feel light.

let me tell you about myself...I have had many failures in friendship it hurts badly but the only thing that kept me going was the thought " everything happens for a reason and it is my life and it wants my good." Probably I won't ever get my friends back but I now know my mistakes and I will b careful( but be who i am ) in future when I meet new people.
If you wanna talk about this, feel free to reply back.

(Original post by User1536861)
What's going on in his head?

He is really responsive when I text him, replies within minutes, texts are longer than mine and he seems eager to talk to me. But I've started all 3 convos (after 2 weeks of no contact). It's been 4 days since we last talked :/ It just hurts that I guess he doesn't care anymore. I don't intend to take him back but the last convo we had before NC started ended on a positive (as positive as it can be anyway) note with mutual understanding and we share lots of mutual friends so I want to stay friends with him. Also strange as it sounds talking to him is really helping with the healing process

P.S. He broke up with me (lots of times in one month) but then went through great lengths to try and win me back. He said he still loves me and it was fear of commitment because he was cheated on in the past etc but says he's changed now. I was willing to risk being hurt again to see this "change" but I kept finding out lots of disrespectful/hurtful things he did to me behind my back during our relationship which led to the relationships demise...
HH
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Lxllipop
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(Original post by User1536861)
What's going on in his head?

He is really responsive when I text him, replies within minutes, texts are longer than mine and he seems eager to talk to me. But I've started all 3 convos (after 2 weeks of no contact). It's been 4 days since we last talked :/ It just hurts that I guess he doesn't care anymore. I don't intend to take him back but the last convo we had before NC started ended on a positive (as positive as it can be anyway) note with mutual understanding and we share lots of mutual friends so I want to stay friends with him. Also strange as it sounds talking to him is really helping with the healing process

P.S. He broke up with me (lots of times in one month) but then went through great lengths to try and win me back. He said he still loves me and it was fear of commitment because he was cheated on in the past etc but says he's changed now. I was willing to risk being hurt again to see this "change" but I kept finding out lots of disrespectful/hurtful things he did to me behind my back during our relationship which led to the relationships demise...
Block him, delete the thread. You deserve better than that! Give yourself some self love and try to move on, if he’s done hurtful things behind your back then he isn’t worthy of your love.
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