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How do you know if you're just hurt or if you're actually heartbroken?

I became close with a guy and due to a series of unfortunate events and miscommunication it all ended messily, I had felt let down and he felt I didn't trust him. We were only friends but it was pretty deep, I think I had a bit of a crush.

*Now it's been a month since we argued but 2 months since we saw each other in person. I miss him terribly, I think about him far more than I should. I went through a tough time prior to all this due to the death of my mother, amongst other things.

*I feel so hurt by it all, I was heartbroken by my mother's death. But I'm also really struggling to move on from this person, I'm worried that I'm heartbroken and that implies that I loved my friend? I don't think I did love him but it's like he is ingrained in my mind.

*I'm just feeling so lost at the moment. I don't know what advice I'm asking for, just to vent I guess. :frown:
Reply 1
Just go talk to him and tell him you're sorry


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
I became close with a guy and due to a series of unfortunate events and miscommunication it all ended messily, I had felt let down and he felt I didn't trust him. We were only friends but it was pretty deep, I think I had a bit of a crush.

*Now it's been a month since we argued but 2 months since we saw each other in person. I miss him terribly, I think about him far more than I should. I went through a tough time prior to all this due to the death of my mother, amongst other things.

*I feel so hurt by it all, I was heartbroken by my mother's death. But I'm also really struggling to move on from this person, I'm worried that I'm heartbroken and that implies that I loved my friend? I don't think I did love him but it's like he is ingrained in my mind.

*I'm just feeling so lost at the moment. I don't know what advice I'm asking for, just to vent I guess. :frown:


It bites that you are having quite a tough time in life at the moment.

I think you may feel like you're heartbroken, there's no doubt about that, but I think it's because you are / were infatuated with this guy in your life. I don't know the ins and outs but I would surmise that you clung on to him emotionally for reasons x y z (even if you don't realise it, I didn't when I did something similar) because of your mum and the stress and the grief etc, and now all of that has been let go and it hurts, similar to a break up I guess. But I would be hesitant to describe your feelings towards that guy as love - only a strong infatuation.
Reply 3
Original post by pk789
Just go talk to him and tell him you're sorry


Posted from TSR Mobile


I have apologised but he hasn't responded.*
Reply 4
Original post by SeanFM
It bites that you are having quite a tough time in life at the moment.

I think you may feel like you're heartbroken, there's no doubt about that, but I think it's because you are / were infatuated with this guy in your life. I don't know the ins and outs but I would surmise that you clung on to him emotionally for reasons x y z (even if you don't realise it, I didn't when I did something similar) because of your mum and the stress and the grief etc, and now all of that has been let go and it hurts, similar to a break up I guess. But I would be hesitant to describe your feelings towards that guy as love - only a strong infatuation.
*

Yeah I don't see how I could have loved him because even though I have never experienced romantic love, I understand the love I had for my mother and the depth of that and how I was willing to sacrifice anything to keep her alive...

But this doesn't feel the same even though it's painful and its showing no signs of easing. What happened was in summary was that he encouraged me to open up, seemed incredibly sincere and we would spend so much time talking about everything including the traumatic stuff I have been through. But he was around then next moment he wasn't and it went on and on which left me feeling hurt and lost. I mean he said it wasn't intentional he just got caught up with uni work. And so I felt I lost him then even though I guess I hadn't really until we exchanged cross words.

He seemed so disappointed in me that I wasn't able to trust him anymore :-/ but then is that altogether surprising given what I've been through? I feel awful for trying to justify what I said but I don't know.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
*

Yeah I don't see how I could have loved him because even though I have never experienced romantic love, I understand the love I had for my mother and the depth of that and how I was willing to sacrifice anything to keep her alive...

But this doesn't feel the same even though it's painful and its showing no signs of easing. What happened was in summary was that he encouraged me to open up, seemed incredibly sincere and we would spend so much time talking about everything including the traumatic stuff I have been through. But he was around then next moment he wasn't and it went on and on which left me feeling hurt and lost. I mean he said it wasn't intentional he just got caught up with uni work. And so I felt I lost him then even though I guess I hadn't really until we exchanged cross words.

He seemed so disappointed in me that I wasn't able to trust him anymore :-/ but then is that altogether surprising given what I've been through? I feel awful for trying to justify what I said but I don't know.


I'm not gonna pretend to be an expert on love but believe me there is no on you will ever love more than your mother so you can't really compare. Plus the love between a child and her/his mother is not in the slightest like romantic love and from your symptoms it does seem like you loved this guy.
If possible try to meet him face to face and tell him how you feel. Our time on this earth is to short to waste it wondering what could have happened


Posted from TSR Mobile
There's different types of heart broken, I think you're also heart broken by this guy. But it's a different kind to the heartbroken you felt by your mum's death because you loved your mum and had a different kind of feeling towards your mum than towards this guy.
They both go hand in hand.

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