Mental Health Support Society XVIII

btw this was me, damn auto anon.

Thanks for your reply I am not sure if it's really paranoid delusion as, especially for the visual things, I do know that they are not there, but I am just afraid that they are actually there - if that makes sense. Like, somewhere I know that it is unlikely that the door handle really got pushed down, but I am afraid that it did actually get pushed down. (So I can tell reality and imagination apart I guess - I have never really looked into paranoid delusions but just looked into it and it said that the person was unable to tell those two apart, but tbh, I don't know a lot about this, so I could be wrong.)

I am not sure if I am more stressed - logically, I would be less stressed because school is over, although I do still have a ton of (important) schoolwork to do. But I think it's more like fretting/worrying/panicking.

I am not really a big fan of talking to my doctor about my mental health and tbh I feel a bit ashamed about this, but my mum has been trying to get me to go to my doctor for a psychiatrist referral to go on meds for other things anyway so if that appointment gets made, I will talk about this to her too. I'd rather not go on meds, especially not for depression and anxiety, but like I said, this is getting a bit out of hand and taking a toll on my sleep and wellbeing and thus health and other things.

My fave Geezer!

How are things?

(I've stolen my mum's laptop for a few days whilst she's away, so I can actually interact with people, mwahahaha)

How are things?

Well... do you really want to know? I feel a rant coming on! . OK here goes:

Saw my psych the other day (routine appointment) and he gave the usual introductory question, which was actually "How're things?" Funnily enough. To which I said up and down short term long term-grim.

Which is true. I don't really see a clear future for myself.

So I said well I don't have a gf and I don't have a job and I don't have any mates or social interaction. Why would I be happy? And he was like "well 6/10 people in the world are in your position, maybe you'll get those things in a couple of years time" A couple of years? So what do I do until then? And will I for sure? And why does it have to be so long for things I want now and things I've already waited years and years for?

Well... do you really want to know? I feel a rant coming on! . OK here goes:

Saw my psych the other day (routine appointment) and he gave the usual introductory question, which was actually "How're things?" Funnily enough. To which I said up and down short term long term-grim.

Which is true. I don't really see a clear future for myself.

So I said well I don't have a gf and I don't have a job and I don't have any mates or social interaction. Why would I be happy? And he was like "well 6/10 people in the world are in your position, maybe you'll get those things in a couple of years time" A couple of years? So what do I do until then? And will I for sure? And why does it have to be so long for things I want now and things I've already waited years and years for?

I'm sorry you feel things are so grim - that must be really hard I'm not sure what to suggest Do you have anything that gives your day/week a bit of structure? Even unpaid volunteering or a sport or hobby?

It's def hard sitting around waiting to see if things get better

Thanks Yes I volunteer and I have a a hobby but they're a means to an end- they "satisfy" me yes, but make me feel happy and optimistic about my life and my future? No.

Remind me: are you on meds? Do you think they might need adjusting/changing, if so?

I have mine on Monday as well so I don't really have any advice or tips but I just want to wish you well for the assessment and hope it all goes smoothly

I am but I hate being on them at all. They make me feel apathetic and tired, reduce my libido significantly, and I don't really notice a change. I realise they help me in some way at least and and that's after years of chopping and changing to get them at a manageable level.

just swimming along
just trying

~Anon 1

I'll be glad when next week is over. In the space of 2 days I have my PIP medical, have to go to a new doctor for my next fit note, I have the dentist for the first in years and I'm terrified and then my car has to get fixed and I wont have it back until Wednesday so I have to go on buses which scares me but at least either my mum or Callan will be with me. Sounds silly but my nerves are horrendous atm and I'll just be glad for all those things to be over . Also hope I hear back about my ESA medical soon. Sick of feeling dread whenever I get a letter through the post.

On a positive note, I did get a letter through with a date to see the CPN which was super quick considering I only saw the psychiatrist on Tuesday.

Does anyonw know if it is possible to get anxiety reducing medications if you do not have an anxiety disorder? I have an extreme fear of there being murderers in my house and lately I have been getting, what seems like, hallucinations - seeing shadows/movements, doorhandles being pushed down ever so slightly when they are not, hearing noises that are (probably not there), etc. (Only when I am home alone or when it is night, as that is when the fear is always present.) I have had this fear for years but it has gotten a lot worse lately. I have other fears too but nothing really extreme/out of the ordinary (except for social anxiety) but really feel like I can't go on like this anymore.

Massive hugs for everyone who is struggling atm




It is possible (albeit somewhat rarer) to suffer from paranoid delusions but have a sense that they are not reality. I suffer from psychosis but can almost always tell if something is real or not.

I agree with everything PandaWho said tbh - reading your post, it does sound like it could be paranoid delusions, rather than anxiety alone. To my untrained mind at least

I can still sometimes tell whats reality when im in an "episode" but there are parts mostly surrounding snipers that i struggle with whats real

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It sounds like you may have an anxiety condition, especially with this fear. Do you believe that there are people in your house coming to murder you. The fact that you are able to rationalise and notice that it is not going on is positive. It sounds like this fear can stress you out, which is possibly bringing on these visual illusions (or hallucinations, not possible to tell completely from this but it sounds more like an illusion). I would speak to your GP, they may be able to prescribe some talking therapy or medication to help with the anxiety. I wouldn't worry that you are experiencing any delusions here, from my personal view it doesn't seem like that is what is going on, however you should check with your GP as I am not your doctor, obviously.


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Thanks for the replies and insights I will discuss it with my therapist I guess during my next appointment (if I dare to ) to see what she thinks and what my options are.

I don't think it's that the doctors don't empathise, it's more that they have other patients who need to be seen, and they're trying to maintain order for them. Otherwise some people might just be late all the time, and it turns chaotic.
If it's their policy to wait half an hour though, then they shouldn't be trying to turn you away! Glad you got seen in the end

It sounds like you may have an anxiety condition, especially with this fear. Do you believe that there are people in your house coming to murder you. The fact that you are able to rationalise and notice that it is not going on is positive. It sounds like this fear can stress you out, which is possibly bringing on these visual illusions (or hallucinations, not possible to tell completely from this but it sounds more like an illusion). I would speak to your GP, they may be able to prescribe some talking therapy or medication to help with the anxiety. I wouldn't worry that you are experiencing any delusions here, from my personal view it doesn't seem like that is what is going on, however you should check with your GP as I am not your doctor, obviously.


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