Controlling your emotions
Recently, i've been crying a lot. And i mean a LOT. I'm under a lot of pressure. I have a scholarship to attend a private school and so everyone whether its teachers or family members expect me to do really well, but I feel I didn't very well, so i'm worried about results day.
But in the summer holidays, i'm focusing on learning how to drive or working on my personal statement and I seem to be getting upset really easily over it all.
My parents keep shouting at me to "grow up" or "man up" ( which I really hate since i'm a girl) and that only seems to be making it worse
I can't really doing anything about my results or anything and I Can't seem to be able to tell them to stop, so does have any suggestions on how I can control my emotions more? Like stop crying? Or getting upset when my parents shout?
Thanks x
But in the summer holidays, i'm focusing on learning how to drive or working on my personal statement and I seem to be getting upset really easily over it all.
My parents keep shouting at me to "grow up" or "man up" ( which I really hate since i'm a girl) and that only seems to be making it worse
I can't really doing anything about my results or anything and I Can't seem to be able to tell them to stop, so does have any suggestions on how I can control my emotions more? Like stop crying? Or getting upset when my parents shout?
Thanks x
You're right - you can't do anything about your results now. But, they do not define your life. Maybe you'll need to take a different path in life to get to where you need to be, but everything happens for a reason. Remember that you did the best that you could and that's all that anyone could ask. "Grow up" isn't a good phrase for them to use at all - your emotions are very real to you and you need to deal with them rather than just try to get past them as "Grow up" implies.
When you're upset or stressed, try to write down or tell a friend why you feel that way. Explaining in detail about what's making you feel that way can help you come to terms with it mentally.
Maybe try telling your parents about how they make you feel? Sounds like they really are not helping your emotions.
**EDIT: in high school, i was convinced that I did an awful job of my exams. turns out, they were excellent and got me into one of the highest performance colleges in the country. IMO some peoples minds look for every negative thing that could influence your results, and only focus on those, therefore making you believe that the results aren't good. You don't know what your results are until results day, so try not to worry too much.
When you're upset or stressed, try to write down or tell a friend why you feel that way. Explaining in detail about what's making you feel that way can help you come to terms with it mentally.
Maybe try telling your parents about how they make you feel? Sounds like they really are not helping your emotions.
**EDIT: in high school, i was convinced that I did an awful job of my exams. turns out, they were excellent and got me into one of the highest performance colleges in the country. IMO some peoples minds look for every negative thing that could influence your results, and only focus on those, therefore making you believe that the results aren't good. You don't know what your results are until results day, so try not to worry too much.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Recently, i've been crying a lot. And i mean a LOT. I'm under a lot of pressure. I have a scholarship to attend a private school and so everyone whether its teachers or family members expect me to do really well, but I feel I didn't very well, so i'm worried about results day.
But in the summer holidays, i'm focusing on learning how to drive or working on my personal statement and I seem to be getting upset really easily over it all.
My parents keep shouting at me to "grow up" or "man up" ( which I really hate since i'm a girl) and that only seems to be making it worse
I can't really doing anything about my results or anything and I Can't seem to be able to tell them to stop, so does have any suggestions on how I can control my emotions more? Like stop crying? Or getting upset when my parents shout?
Thanks x
But in the summer holidays, i'm focusing on learning how to drive or working on my personal statement and I seem to be getting upset really easily over it all.
My parents keep shouting at me to "grow up" or "man up" ( which I really hate since i'm a girl) and that only seems to be making it worse
I can't really doing anything about my results or anything and I Can't seem to be able to tell them to stop, so does have any suggestions on how I can control my emotions more? Like stop crying? Or getting upset when my parents shout?
Thanks x
I understand about having a lot of pressure put on you when you're considered to be the brains of the family. However, they need to understand that there's only so much you can do - everyone has a breaking point. I know it seems like a horrible and impossible concept, but you need to make them - especially your parents - realise that, and that shouting at you isn't going to encourage you and help you get the grades you need, nor will it change anything if Results Day doesn't go as you'd hoped. Try talking to some close friends about how you feel and practice what you might tell your parents (if you feel you can do it). Or perhaps even go to the counsellor at your school - I know it's the summer holidays, but they should have an email address and I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you send them a message saying that you're struggling to cope with pressure and stress and do they have any tips.
As for controlling your emotions more, I would suggest meditation -there's an app called Anamaya Meditation (it comes up as 'Yoga and Meditation' in the app store when you search it). Try that, just 10-15 minutes every night before you go to bed, or in the morning after you wake up, just to clear your head and soothe yourself.
I'm not sure if there's any real way to not get upset when our parents yell at us; I get upset if I'm told off or shouted at by my parents. We all want our parents' approval, whether consciously or subconsciously, and when they yell at us or get mad at us, it hurts.
This is going to contradict what I just said, but... all that matters is YOUR OPINION. One of the most important things I learned from my therapist is that you can only do enough to please yourself. You are not made to please other people. If you think you've done enough to meet your own standards (yours, NOT YOUR PARENTS'), you'll stop giving so many ***** about what others think, and hopefully you'll be happier.
I hope that helps and good luck with your results!!! x
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This has really helped, thank you. I will try and use your advice. Hopefully, I will manage it
