23 and NEVER had a girlfriend

Hi! I'm 23 and never had a girlfriend.

I'm just too shy/underconfident about myself. Back in school, I was always picked on about my height (I'm 5'8" now) but because of that, I still feel like i'm really short and I worry girls won't like me because of my height.

The last time I asked a girl out was in secondary school, but she turned me down. Ever since then, I've been afraid of rejection I guess.

But I feel lonely if I'm honest, and in the future, I'd love to have a little family.

I've only recently started going to clubs/bars, my first taste of alcohol was only last year! haha, but I wouldn't know where to start. How do you even start chatting to a girl? I can be a bit silly/jokey and know I'd make a fool of myself.

Reply 1

Bristol Dawah

Tbh the state of affairs is so bad in modern society we need to go right back to roots and have arranged marriages. I mean the trend these days is for online dating and all that **** but men are having to drop their standards to absolutely ludicrous degrees and yet the quality of white UK women now morally and physically has probably never been lower.

Reply 2

ckfeister

Original post by Bristol Dawah

Reply 3

lulucoco98

Original post by Bristol Dawah

Suck ur mum

Reply 4

ckfeister

Original post by lulucoco98

Suck ur mum

Reply 5

Maths (2x2) Life

Original post by lulucoco98

Suck ur mum

ah british banter, how remarkable

Reply 6

Sorani

Firstly, literally everyone in the world gets rejected at some point in their lives, and it should never be a reason to give up. Do you stop cooking because you burnt a pizza once? Do you stop walking because you tripped over? No, of course not, and asking people out is exactly the same. You sulk a little bit, and you move on.

As silly as it sounds, the most important thing is treating girls as if they're human beings. We're not unicorns, we really want the same things as you do. Do you have female friends? I think that should be your first step, just to get used to female company. And you need to be more confident - some of the worst, ugliest, weirdest men in the world do fine because they have confidence to compensate for things they might lack. They know how to talk.

Reply 7

username1726117

Original post by 2scotty

Okay so I've had a relationship but you do sound kinda like me. Breakup knocked the confidence out of me, and I was never great with girls in school myself.

So, what do you do?

Well, you improve yourself. Gym, working on your studies, social skills (go out and meet new people), develop new interests, basically become a better version of yourself. It is very tough being in a position thinking you won't find anyone, I spent the last year doing that, but when you drop it and focus on everything else you tend to feel a lot happier and confident...and then maybe you'll start seeing results.

Try online dating, but treat it as a game. If you don't get 1000 swipes on Tinder or girls messaging you hour after hour, don't worry that's normal. Just message a few you like and see how it goes. No reply? No biggy, it was worth a try. If you find yourself getting frustrated then abandon ship, cause it's not worth spending hours getting your photos and bio critiqued in the hope you can land that one date.

Also, plenty of people in your situation. I would have been too if I weren't have been lucky enough to meet someone ON THE INTERNET. It just happens sometimes, my friend. Stick it out and the fruits of your labor will soon show themselves.

Stay positive, love life!

Reply 8

richpanda

Stop being a heightcel and get some 3 inch shoe lifts.

Reply 9

lulucoco98

Original post by Maths (2x2) Life

ah british banter, how remarkable

I would have given an educated response to the inept prick but i thought that would sum it up much more better.

Reply 10

Trinculo

Original post by 2scotty

I've only recently started going to clubs/bars, my first taste of alcohol was only last year! haha, but I wouldn't know where to start. How do you even start chatting to a girl? I can be a bit silly/jokey and know I'd make a fool of myself.

It's not going to work.

If you're 23 and only just started socializing, you're about as likely to find a gf in a bar/club/pub as you are to find a talking cat.

You need to put yourself in an environment that has at least some women in it that will engage with you - and it might be an idea to shelve the gf idea for a little bit.

What you need is like a socially-strong club. It can be anything as long as there are women at it. The good news is, they don't have to be lookers. They don't even have to be clever or pleasant. It could be a book club, a knitting circle, Bible study, softball, whatever. Then make sure that you always engage with the group socially and never make excuses not to. Always ask who wants to go for a drink after.

The key here is that you have no intentions of getting with anyone - so you can freely ask the ones you don't fancy or are too old or married or whatever. You can also talk freely about something you're interested in (the group focus) or something else without fear of rejection. If a woman you're not trying to get with thinks that Game of Thrones is terrible and that you're an uber geek for liking it....it doesn't matter.

Just stick with this, and after a while you will be able to talk to women and understand how its done. Then you can move on to the ones you fancy. Chances are that if you know women platonically, one of them will introduce you to their sad single friend sooner or later.

It's a long game and you're going to have to watch a lot of porn in the interim, but you're starting from a sub-prime position.

Reply 11

zzFishstick

Napolean was 5 ft 5" and he slayed pussy back and forth

Reply 12

math42

Don't be so afraid of rejection. I've been rejected a few times but it worked out in the end and I've been in a relationship for over two years now. And you're really not that short (I am 5'5" lol).

Original post by zzFishstick

Napolean was 5 ft 5" and he slayed pussy back and forth

Pretty sure he was 5'7" which was above average for men at the time

Reply 13

zzFishstick

Original post by 1 8 13 20 42

Don't be so afraid of rejection. I've been rejected a few times but it worked out in the end and I've been in a relationship for over two years now. And you're really not that short (I am 5'5" lol).

Pretty sure he was 5'7" which was above average for men at the time

My mistake, 5'7". Okay fine, Vladimir Putin, one of the most feared and powerful men in the world right now is 5'7". Look, I could sit here giving you examples of short successful men all day, but the point is height shouldn't make or break a man - this isn't the stone ages, you don't need physical strength/height to be dominant in today's world.

Reply 14

Zarek

Shyness is not an advantage in the dating stakes, but you find a way because relationships are important. You've asked a girl out so you can do it. You wouldn't believe the number of blow outs guys suffer and that even the very socially able guys. I am certain there is someone for everyone. So resilience, read every self help dating book, moderate alcohol, dating coaching from a more able mate, flirt at every conceivable opportunity, don't only go after babes and you will get there.

Reply 15

Pinkberry_y

Original post by 2scotty

Honestly go have a shower, put a dab of aftershave on, wear some nice clean casual clothes and run to your nearest tesco sainsbury or asda. Now go up to the first girl you see that you like the look of and is on her own. Say hi there would you fancy getting coffee with me some time?