Girl I'm dating interprets things I say in weird ways and then gets annoyed at me

I'm dating this girl and she sometimes seems to interpret some things I say in conversation in almost impossible ways that I would never think of. Unfortunately this has been in bad ways (i.e I say a remark that I think nothing of but to her it's some sort of an insult in a weird way that I'd never think of on my own accord). I'm trying to learn and apologize when she says I've said things she didn't like but it feels like I'm in some conversational minefield where things I say could be interpreted in some weird way I never intended them to that could ruin the whole thing (she even said that after one time I said something like that, she was considering stopping seeing me but then gave me another chance).

Any words of advice?

Reply 1

username1842595

Talk about it with her. Communication is key

Reply 2

Virgil.

Original post by snakesnake

Never apologise again for her misinterpretations.

What is happening is by apoligising you are bending to her will. Women do not respect and are not attracted to men who bend to their will. if you want her respect and attraction, you need to make her bend to your will.

The next time she misinterprets something, dont apologise, dont try to placate her. Just say calmy, slowly and most importantly firmly that you didnt mean anything by it, at least not how she interpreted it, and that she should stop jumping to conclusions / learn to be less sensititive otherwise she will be eaten alive in the real world.

The second part about her jumping to conclusions / being less sensitive is important to say, because otherwise she will keep on misinterpreting you and having a go at you.

As long as you are firm, and dont back down and start apologising / or take back your words, she might be a bit shocked at first, but she will come round because she will respect you for not being a beta and grovelling at her feet like you normally do.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 3

RDKGames

Study Forum Helper

Original post by Virgil.

What is happening is by apoligising you are bending to her will. Women do not respect and are not attracted to men who bend to their will. if you want her respect and attraction, you need to make her bend to your will.

As long as you are firm, and dont back down and start apologising / or take back your words, she might be a bit shocked at first, but she will come round because she will respect you for not being a beta and grovelling at her feet like you normally do.

Reply 4

Virgil.

Original post by RDKGames

The last post you made was you celebrating the fact that you've finally reached 7 gems.

You clearly have zero real world experience. You should try go outside some time though. It's really good:

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 5

RDKGames

Study Forum Helper

Original post by Virgil.

The last post you made was you celebrating the fact that you've finally reached 7 gems.

You clearly have zero real world experience. You should try it some time though. It's really good:

Were you abused as a child?

Reply 6

Virgil.

Original post by RDKGames

Were you abused as a child?

yes, and I took all that rage and resentment from how my parents treated me, and I funneled it into being a cyber bully. One day I will be the greatest cyber bully there ever was! You mark my words!

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 7

RDKGames

Study Forum Helper

Original post by Virgil.

yes, and I took all that rage and resentment from how my parents treated me, and I funneled it into being a cyber bully :smile:

One day I will be the greatest cyber bully there ever was! You mark my words!

I say good luck to you, sir, that is a tough dream indeed but I'm sure you're more than suitable for that position.

Reply 8

Virgil.

Original post by RDKGames

I say good luck to you, sir, that is a tough dream indeed but I'm sure you're more than suitable for that position.

Thank you. All I ever wanted was someone to believe in me

Reply 9

radel1999

she sounds like a negative person or maybe she just likes stirring the pot.

Reply 10

username457532

She sounds a bit like me. I have BPD and I often think my friends are saying very negative things about me when they're not. They complain I 'twist their words' but that's genuinely what I believe they're telling me. It's important to communicate. To be patient with her. When she's not upset/angry about something have a really good conversation about how she feels in those moments and what you could do to help. Sometimes I talk to one of my friends and ask them to try doing/not doing something in those moments. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't and I tell them the thing didn't work and often suggest something else.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Weird thing is, if that was a guy, people would probably tell you he's manipulative and horrible and that you should leave him. A relationship like that is not healthy! If you're spending all of your time trying to appease her and you're just apologising to keep her happy, what's the point of it? You're both in different places, by the sounds of it. She nitpicks at things you do, and you feel compelled to just take it and move on. Maybe you should take time away from each other and figure out where the relationship is headed. Because above all things, the purpose of a relationship is to make you happy. If it's just an added stress in your life, there's no point to it.

Reply 12

Pinkberry_y

Does she have a good command of the English language?

Reply 13

WhisperingTide

Original post by Virgil.

you need to make her bend to your will.

respect you for not being a beta

I can't tell if Virgil actually thinks alpha/beta males exist or if he's just a troll...hmm...anyway, he does give some good advice; don't allow yourself to be walked over, be firm, talk to her. For the love of God do not try to make her 'Bend to your will'.Alternative, you could try killing her, peeling the skin off of her face, stealing her clothes, wearing the clothes + skin to her parents house and seeing how long it takes them to realise it's not her, before killing them also. Either works.

Reply 14

LeiaMcFly

Stop dating her.... you don't need that kind of attitude in your life, if you are not confortable with the situation then just go away.... people DO NOT CHANGE no matter how hard you or that other person try, people never change, just look for some one else. I know it sounds cruel but in this world there are so much unhappy people just because they stick to an unhealthy relationship that is realy sad