Muslims help! Losing my faith

Please keep anonymous.

I am a muslim girl and I am losing faith, I am very expressive in my appearance. I like to wear funky colourful clothes, put on dramatic make up, colour my hair, it makes me feel confident. I also have a bubbly personality and am very 'out there' and share pictures online and like to meet new people and talk to people, make them laugh and form special bonds.

However I get judged for this. I get told I will go to Hell for not wearing Hijab so I started wearing it. It limited my creativity but I still found ways to dress it up, my makeup was still bright and I was still confident. Now I am being told that a good Muslim woman should not laugh in public, or wear bright coloured clothes, or makeup, or talk too much or talk to men and if I am seen doing any of those things I get judged and talked bad about.

So all of this was taken from me. I can't express myself now and my confidence dropped a lot. I have low self esteem, I'm depressed and I hate going out now. It's making me lose my faith. I know this world is temporary and in Heaven Insha Allah I'll be able to do as I please but it's so hard to cope with because now I've lost who I was.

Any guidance or advice please?

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Reply 1

Angry Bird

surround yourself with positive people

Reply 2

username1842595

This really isnt the best website to ask.

Edit: Who told you that a Muslim woman cant laugh? Are you serious? You wont go to hell for laughing at a joke?

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 3

fatima1998

ignore what people are saying :yy:

they are just being typical
what are they expecting you to not laugh in public like what :gasp:

they want you to cry or something
you wont go to hell just by not wearing a hijab, i dont and no one told me that i'll go to hell. i dont think its compulsory...
i would suggest you to ignore them and wear whatever you like :yy:

Spoiler

Reply 4

PrincessBO$$

Original post by Anonymous

Whoever is saying this to you is extreme!
Im loud, extroverted. Bubbly! Crazy and a hijabi. Im confident! **** off to anyone who tries to dictate you. Haters gonna hate.
Yes islam has rules, which you gotta follow. But come on ...find me a hadith that says you cant be extroverted, confident :colonhash:

PM me if you still feel upset.
Iv been told some of those exact thing.s Iv been told by my great aunt to keep my voice low, as could attract men :wtf:

wtf

Reply 5

Nim_123

Please just be happy and confident in who you are being a Muslim isn't about being a hijab I it's about being a bit modest.
I've never been told about being a hijab etc my family isn't really like that but am told a lot about what I wear, make up, etc by some, but being happy in who you are is so important.

PM me if you want to talk about it. 😊

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by sameehaiqbal

This really isnt the best website to ask.

Edit: Who told you that a Muslim woman cant laugh? Are you serious? You wont go to hell for laughing at a joke?

Oh sorry

Apparently if you laugh in public men will get attracted to your laugh, and "laughing a lot/ loudly is a sign of impoliteness" which is a saying I keep getting told.

Original post by Angry Bird

surround yourself with positive people

I try, people cared way less when i didnt wear the hijab but now I'm representing islam and if i make any mistakes its like im dirtying the name of islam somehow. I dont get it, why arent they focusing on isis who are dirtying it way more than me :frown:

Original post by fatima1998

ignore what people are saying :yy:

they are just being typical
what are they expecting you to not laugh in public like what :gasp:

Spoiler

Ill try

thank you <3

Original post by PrincessBO$$

PM me if you still feel upset.
Iv been told some of those exact thing.s Iv been told by my great aunt to keep my voice low, as could attract men :wtf:

wtf

Thank you! Yes ive been told that as well, its like so opposite of what i am and i cant fulfil the role of the 'perfect hijabi' and they make me feel bad about it. Thank you <3

Reply 7

PrincessBO$$

Original post by sameehaiqbal

This really isnt the best website to ask.

Edit: Who told you that a Muslim woman cant laugh? Are you serious? You wont go to hell for laughing at a joke?

If this is true. (It obvs isnt) im going to hell. I giggle more times than i breath :colondollar:

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by Nimrahk123

Yh I've never been immodest even when I didnt wear hijab, i never wore sleeveless or shorts and when i wore hijab I tried to wear loose clothing that i liked but its not enough and i get called a slut if i dont wear a top that covers down to my knees! I dont understand it.

The hijabi lifestyle isn't for me if it is so extreme!

Reply 9

username1292215

The part where you say you now have low self esteem makes me feel so angry.

Who is telling you all this nonsense, only god can judge you. Some people are so damn judgemental.

Please surround yourself with different people. Be yourself, and if someone tells you something don't just believe it. Atleast google search it or something.

Reply 10

mercuryman

Original post by Anonymous

Now I am being told that a good Muslim woman should not laugh in public, or wear bright coloured clothes, or makeup, or talk too much or talk to men and if I am seen doing any of those things I get judged and talked bad about.

Are you sure you're not a troll? WTF LOL; THAT'S PROB THE MOST STUPIDEST THING I'VE READ ON THIS FORUM (speaking as a muslim who prays 5 times a day)

I find it hard to believe muslims get told this kind of nonsense
why do stupid backwards parents spew this sort of ******** to their kids.

Original post by Anonymous

Please keep anonymous.However I get judged for this. I get told I will go to Hell for not wearing Hijab so I started wearing it. It limited my creativity but I still found ways to dress it up, my makeup was still bright and I was still confident.

The hijab is YOUR CHOICE. NOBODY ON THIS PLANET HAS THE JURISDICTION TO FORCE IT ON YOU.
You will certainly not go to hell for not wearing a hijab. Nobody has the right to say that. They're committing an act of sin by claiming you will. FFS

Original post by Anonymous

Yh I've never been immodest even when I didnt wear hijab, i never wore sleeveless or shorts and when i wore hijab I tried to wear loose clothing that i liked but its not enough and i get called a slut if i dont wear a top that covers down to my knees! I dont understand it.The hijabi lifestyle isn't for me if it is so extreme!

Honestly, if you don't want to wear it. Don't wear it. It's not a big deal. If I was a female, I definitely wouldn't wear a hijab if forced. I personally know a guy whose family is super religious (this guy knows the quran by heart) Yet his sister is out-going and doesn't wear a hijab. I find that so pleasing that his parents (who are religiously strict) have given their children the freedom to make their own decisions (like normal parents)

Many muslim women who don't wear hijabs are just as good as those who do. I do not see a difference at all.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 11

uk97

Assalamualaikum, I pray you are in the best of health.

I'm 18 and a Niqabi, have been for some years (completely my own choice) and I'm an extrovert. I'm not here to judge you because at the end of the day, we're all going to our own graves. Islam isn't here to make anyone miserable. The Quran wasn't sent down to make people miserable. Muslims aren't here to be miserable. You know who smiled the most? Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. I'm so sorry to hear that you've been 'openly judged' (if that makes sense) and I'm sorry to hear that people have been pointing fingers not knowing that their sins are piling on. We as Muslims are here to love and encourage one another. As long as you maintain your salah and you keep your faith in your Rabb, you will be happy and content. The rest all comes naturally. Besides, Allah scans hearts. I'm not saying that hijab isn't fardh, I'm saying that people shouldn't force it on you. You sound like you are a good person and I pray Allah SubhanAllahu WaTa'ala guides you to the best of imaan because if anything, the one who strives is most worthy of it. I have loads of hadiths I can share with you and beautiful lectures In Sha Allah but that's up to you if you want to listen to them. If you want to talk, you can pm me anytime! Assalamualaikum x

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Reply 12

username1842595

Original post by PrincessBO$$

If this is true. (It obvs isnt) im going to hell. I giggle more times than i breath :colondollar:

Lol guess we're all going to hell :rofl:

Reply 13

pelaitsc45

just stop being a muslim then. maybe think for yourself (unlike many of the people in this thread) and see through the ******** you've been indoctrinated into believing since birth.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Thank you all for your replies :smile:

Original post by SuperHuman98

I am researching and I know their views are extreme but when I try to rationalise with them they never listen because being different is strange, and I was told to walk the path many women in Islam walked before me and not to deviate from it because it can create problems.

Original post by mercuryman

Are you sure you're not a troll?

I find it hard to believe muslims get told this kind of nonsense (speaking as a muslim)
why do stupid backwards parents spew this sort of ******** to their kids.

The hijab is YOUR CHOICE. NOBODY ON THIS PLANET HAS THE JURISDICTION TO FORCE IT ON YOU.
You will certainly not go to hell for not wearing a hijab. Nobody has the right to say that. They're committing an act of sin by claiming you will. FFS

No I swear I am not trolling. Whenever I try to say it's different here to where my parents grew up (middle east) I just get stories about girls who were honour killed for acting like me and that i should be grateful i have freedom to get an education and things like that. I am grateful for that al hamdu lilah.

I think it is because we went to the middle east on holiday this year and they saw the girls there and how they behave different to me. My family from there also talked to me about covering up and how I should be a good muslim girl.

Original post by uk97

Thank you for responding. I do and did have a lot of faith in Allah al hamdu lilah and i love Islam and have nothing but good intentions in all i do but ive noticed since all of this has been happening its pushed me away and made me doubt myself and my faith and not doing any good. Thank you again :smile:

Reply 15

mercuryman

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you all for your replies :smile:

Their behaviour doesn't coincide with the teachings of the quran, they can't force you to wear a hijab and whatnot. It's culture that is the issue, 'honour killings' for being 'immodest' What rubbish.

I'd advise you post any other queries you have on ISOC. They are really good at clearing up these bizarre misconceptions. especially @Hanwar she is really nice and approachable!
here's the link :smile:

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 16

username1842595

Original post by pelaitsc45

just stop being a muslim then. maybe think for yourself (unlike many of the people in this thread) and see through the ******** you've been indoctrinated into believing since birth.

This is why i said this isnt the best place to ask.

Dont listen to him.

Reply 17

trollface54

I am a muslim aged 16 and I love my religion. No where does it say in the Quran or hadiths that women and men can't laugh and enjoy themselves. But everything comes with its limits. Islam is not a religion that was made to constrict people but to guide them. Muslims think nowadays that the Quran is too strict but it's society that is changing. Haram is becoming more prevalent. You don't get that true brotherly and sisterly love between Muslims anymore. Let me speak to u like a brother. In the Quran it says that women should not wear clothing whereby if they were to stamp their feet their private parts would be visible. Both men and women should be humble and should not raise their voices lest it should attract attention. I'm not the type of person to attack others while being a hippocrite. God is the all seeing and all hearing.
Be happy and extrovert, but never forget that wherever u r represent Islam
In the best way possible not because others r watching u but because ur creator is aware of what u do.

In qudsi 25 bukhari Allah says anyone who shows enmity towards those who r devoted to me is shall be at war with them. My servant draws near to me by doing the compulsory acts (praying and everthing else mentioned in the Quran and Hadith) and the non- obligatory acts. Then it is as if it is my eyes with which she/he hears with and ears with which they hear with.
U can understand from this that if u r truly devoted to ur lord then It is wrong for others to curse u. Although constructive criticism is always important. Listen to ur parents because they love u and keep following what ur creator tells u.
Keep ur head up high because the time is really near. There is a great reward waiting for us inshallah.

Reply 18

HAnwar

Salam

The hijab isn't just a cloth you drape over your head, hijab literally means 'barrier'.
What you have to understand is that when you put a hijab on, you are or should be creating a barrier between you and the opposite gender (which is the whole reason for why it's worn in front of non mahrams only). This includes not displaying immoral behaviour (I'm not saying any of the things you are doing are immoral) as modesty isn't just about what you wear, but it includes your actions too.

I'm not sure where the 'you shouldn't laugh in public' bit came from lol
Maybe it meant laughing loudly and causing a disturbance or annoyance to others?

As a hijabi I'm also quite friendly and talkative when it comes to talking to girls, but with guys (if there is a need to talk to them) I would not display the same kind of behaviour.
The purpose of the hijab is not to attract attention but rather the opposite.

I know where you're coming from as it has also been drilled in me how I should act in public as opposed to how I would at home, but Alhamdulilah it's for the best.

Keep your bubbly happy persona, there is nothing in Islam which says you can't.
May Allah bless you :smile:

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