Feel mad tbh
hate using that word cos it is disrespectful to ppl but honestly i cant find any other word that sums it up.
idk why im writing this.
possibly because it is comforting and there is no-one else about and i just burst into tears for no reason.
Everytime im happy it is like a layer on top of sadness, the sadness is still there it just gets covered for a while.
but im so anxious about everything and stressed out.
i dont sleep well anymore, i sleep a lot but it isnt quality and cant even nap without panicking.
i liked napping as well bc i didnt dream.
but then i always wake up with a banging heart and palpitations for no reason.
im so stressed out over stuff about this new year and all this stuff i have to do
and ppl ask if im ok but ik they are so busy i never want to say the answer which is
no.
so i smile even tho im crying and ask how they are bc i dont want to bother them but i want to explode and i keep crying.
and my heart hurts.
meh ok ok im done
fell free to ignore this i just had to write it somewhere