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Is it right to use a person's past against them?

My boyfriend went through my phone without my knowledge a few months ago and found an old Facebook conversation the year before we met between me and another guy. The conversation was flirtatious and involved an exchange of photos, but nothing ever happened in real life with that person and as it was the past and I haven't engaged in that since being together I felt it had absolutely nothing to do with the relationship. My boyfriend saved screenshots of this to his phone and then brought it up with me in a recent argument because he felt I wasn't paying enough attention to him calling it disgusting. I said he had absolutely no right to go through my phone and use such a thing against me, and demanded he delete them which he did. Its made me angry and it's a total violation of my privacy and respect.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 1

ckfeister

Original post by jellybabies22

My boyfriend went through my phone without my knowledge a few months ago and found an old Facebook conversation the year before we met between me and another guy. The conversation was flirtatious and involved an exchange of photos, but nothing ever happened in real life with that person and as it was the past and I haven't engaged in that since being together I felt it had absolutely nothing to do with the relationship. My boyfriend saved screenshots of this to his phone and then brought it up with me in a recent argument because he felt I wasn't paying enough attention to him calling it disgusting. I said he had absolutely no right to go through my phone and use such a thing against me, and demanded he delete them which he did. It's made me angry and I find it a total violation of my privacy and respect.

No its not right.

Reply 2

username1726117

I support you and I acknowledge that what your boyfriend did is wrong, but...

...out of respect for your current relationship, why did you not delete this conversation?

Whilst your boyfriend was in the wrong for invading your privacy, not trusting you and thus disrespecting the relationship you have together, I would also argue you were disrespectful by not deleting that conversation. If it were in the past, it would be gone.

Do yourself a favor; remove such stuff from your past life and tell your boyfriend this. If he snoops after that, then you have big trust issues in your relationship which need to be fixed.

Reply 3

Hype en Ecosse

It's easy to forget about an FB conversation and not think about deleting it, but I agree with the sentiment. I've deleted any pics I've been sent from previous partners, but still got the text conversations hanging about on my phone if I scroll back years. Never thought of deleting them tbh.