So there's been yet another argument..
I know i've been stupid and I shouldn't have got involved again. So yeah he'd started flirting heavily with me online, saying that i'm a massive turn-on, my body is amazing etc. and so I started doing it back. We were talking about other stuff but for about 2 weeks we started to talk dirty a lot.
so I knew i'd be seeing him for sure at the end of September as he was going to take a flight from where i'd be, but he'd also mentioned he may be coming at the very start of the month, and I'd told him what date i'd be there etc.
To be honest, I decided I wanted to play with him a little, and I knew he'd be moving away a month later and that nothing more would come. I was even telling myself I didn't think I had any more feelings ,and I knew he only wanted one thing, but it's my fault for getting involved again.
He said in a conversation on Saturday 'I hope you know we won't be together, Idon't want you to get attached again'. And then I'd said I had to go, then a few hours later he made a new conversation with me; telling me about his day. I didn't reply, so he sent me more messages asking if I was on holiday etc.
We got onto the subject of holidays, and he told me he'd be in my town, but the week before i'd be coming back, so that we'd miss each other. I admit that i was a little disappointed, but said ok no problem, we'll catch up anyway when you come to take your flight. And he said that after all, he wasn't sure he'd be taking it from there, he didn't know yet.
So he said that the next time might be Christmas, but it's not sure that we'll be there at the same time. I felt really upset at the thought of not seeing him at all again, and I think that made me realise that I still had feelings for him.
It was just that we'd had the chance to see each other in July but we didn't, and this would be the last chance to catch up before he moves away. I maybe shouldn't have said this, but I told him that if he'd really wanted to see me, I felt that he'd have made more effort this summer.
He went ballistic, and started saying yeah, go on then, have a go at me all you like. I said I wasn't having a go; just explaining that i was disappointerd. He then started saying he doens't have time, he doesn't have the money ,he has loads of stuff to do etc. I said that I'd happily go to visit him too, but he said he 'didn't want me to get attached again'.
I then asked why we were talking online so much in that case. I also asked him why he'd been flirting with me and saying that he wanted to have sex etc. if he had no intention of seeing me, I told him that there were surely girls a bit closer to home who he liked. He told me that he's not attracted to anybody apart from me.
He then said again that he 'doesn't want a girlfriend at the moment'. I said that we'd already been through this and I already knew whathe'd told me. he says that when he moves away, he doesn't want to stay there for good, and that he's really not thinking about meeting someone there and settling down.
He then said that it was clear that I wasn't completely over him and that we always ended up on the same subject. He said he shoukdn't have flirted with me again; it was stupid of him and he didn't realise it would hurt me, but I said that it wasn't his fault, and that I could have told him no.
He said that we could talk online whenever I wanted, and that just because we won't see each other in person, doesn't mean we can't stay in touch.