How did his feelings change so quickly?

I met this guy online (not TSR) about more than a year ago (I am in UK and he is in the US). After talking for a month, he said that he really liked me. I didn't feel the same but I felt like I could tell him anything (like a very good friend). After a while, he expressed his love for me. I still did not feel the same but over time we both became very close. Like best friends. We would talk for hours and when I was not available, he would spam my messages with 'I love you'. But, I felt bad because he loved me and I did not reciprocate that so I told him numerous times, to move on and find someone else (I am also older than him, not by much but still older). Every time, he would say that I'd rather die than to be with someone else. Now, three weeks ago, out of no where, he said that he is willing to accept a friendship and doesn't want anything more than that. I don't know why that hit me so hard. Then, today I found out that he has found someone else. I asked him that we are best friends, why didn't you tell me. He said that he didn't want to hurt me by telling me that he loved someone else more than me.

If I was the one who kept nagging him to move on, why am I hurt by this? Even if he loved me today, I still wouldn't want to be with him. But, the fact that his feelings changed so quickly is beyond me. At one point he said he can't live without me and now he has moved on so quickly. It is hurting me a lot. Was it ok for him to move on like that? Am I being selfish?

TLDR: "I want something I can't have. Unless I can actually have it. In which case, I don't want it anymore"

Selfish? Yes, a little. Did you expect him to still be pining for you your entire life?

why do you care if you don't like him like that lol. And he's in another country. I think you need to find someone in real life and not across the ocean who is living their own life

I met this guy online (not TSR) about more than a year ago (I am in UK and he is in the US). After talking for a month, he said that he really liked me. I didn't feel the same but I felt like I could tell him anything (like a very good friend). After a while, he expressed his love for me. I still did not feel the same but over time we both became very close. Like best friends. We would talk for hours and when I was not available, he would spam my messages with 'I love you'. But, I felt bad because he loved me and I did not reciprocate that so I told him numerous times, to move on and find someone else (I am also older than him, not by much but still older). Every time, he would say that I'd rather die than to be with someone else. Now, three weeks ago, out of no where, he said that he is willing to accept a friendship and doesn't want anything more than that. I don't know why that hit me so hard. Then, today I found out that he has found someone else. I asked him that we are best friends, why didn't you tell me. He said that he didn't want to hurt me by telling me that he loved someone else more than me.

If I was the one who kept nagging him to move on, why am I hurt by this? Even if he loved me today, I still wouldn't want to be with him. But, the fact that his feelings changed so quickly is beyond me. At one point he said he can't live without me and now he has moved on so quickly. It is hurting me a lot. Was it ok for him to move on like that? Am I being selfish?

I don't even know why I care so much. Maybe, because I felt that he is my best friend.

This just seems pointless. Totally pointless. If you don't like him in the first place why would you even be hurt by his decision to move on and be with someone else? Just because he has no feelings for you anymore doesn't mean he can't get another girl. Come on girl! You have to move on if he's not interested in you you've got to move on that's the only way. Did you like him at least a little bit?

Now you need to move on

I know it might seem pointless and also stupid. I don't know why I am hurt, I think it was just the feeling that someone loves me. Even though if he was getting hurt and now that he has moved on and found someone who reciprocates his feelings. I am being jealous.

Yes, I can see that. But come on its better to move on.

If I was the one who kept nagging him to move on, why am I hurt by this? Even if he loved me today, I still wouldn't want to be with him. But, the fact that his feelings changed so quickly is beyond me. At one point he said he can't live without me and now he has moved on so quickly. It is hurting me a lot. Was it ok for him to move on like that? Am I being selfish?

I know it might seem pointless and also stupid. I don't know why I am hurt, I think it was just the feeling that someone loves me. Even though if he was getting hurt and now that he has moved on and found someone who reciprocates his feelings. I am being jealous.

You enjoyed his attention and now he found someone else you feel rejected. I had something casual with someone who i didnt want to be with and when they found someone a few weeks later i was hurt not because i want them or had feelings for them but because they found someone else and i liked feeling wanted by someone.

You just explained what I was feeling so nicely. Thank you. I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way.

I met this guy online (not TSR) about more than a year ago (I am in UK and he is in the US). After talking for a month, he said that he really liked me. I didn't feel the same but I felt like I could tell him anything (like a very good friend). After a while, he expressed his love for me. I still did not feel the same but over time we both became very close. Like best friends. We would talk for hours and when I was not available, he would spam my messages with 'I love you'. But, I felt bad because he loved me and I did not reciprocate that so I told him numerous times, to move on and find someone else (I am also older than him, not by much but still older). Every time, he would say that I'd rather die than to be with someone else. Now, three weeks ago, out of no where, he said that he is willing to accept a friendship and doesn't want anything more than that. I don't know why that hit me so hard. Then, today I found out that he has found someone else. I asked him that we are best friends, why didn't you tell me. He said that he didn't want to hurt me by telling me that he loved someone else more than me.

If I was the one who kept nagging him to move on, why am I hurt by this? Even if he loved me today, I still wouldn't want to be with him. But, the fact that his feelings changed so quickly is beyond me. At one point he said he can't live without me and now he has moved on so quickly. It is hurting me a lot. Was it ok for him to move on like that? Am I being selfish?

I enjoyed his company but didnt feel anything for him and he was using me to get over his rebound and when i wanted to hang out with him he would make excuses so we would just text one another every other day until he said he met another girl he liked and he would text to chat to me about her and i was jealous cause he liked someone more than me and i felt insecure that i wasn't good enough, i didnt want him though.

IMO it's normal to feel hurt as you had him chasing you but now that he's moved on and he's not chasing you anymore you miss that even though you didn't have the same feelings for him, you miss being chased. Also it could be because you already had him and now he's gone you want what you can't have and not that you want him in that way it's just something that happens sometimes.

I met this guy online (not TSR) about more than a year ago (I am in UK and he is in the US). After talking for a month, he said that he really liked me. I didn't feel the same but I felt like I could tell him anything (like a very good friend). After a while, he expressed his love for me. I still did not feel the same but over time we both became very close. Like best friends. We would talk for hours and when I was not available, he would spam my messages with 'I love you'. But, I felt bad because he loved me and I did not reciprocate that so I told him numerous times, to move on and find someone else (I am also older than him, not by much but still older). Every time, he would say that I'd rather die than to be with someone else. Now, three weeks ago, out of no where, he said that he is willing to accept a friendship and doesn't want anything more than that. I don't know why that hit me so hard. Then, today I found out that he has found someone else. I asked him that we are best friends, why didn't you tell me. He said that he didn't want to hurt me by telling me that he loved someone else more than me.

If I was the one who kept nagging him to move on, why am I hurt by this? Even if he loved me today, I still wouldn't want to be with him. But, the fact that his feelings changed so quickly is beyond me. At one point he said he can't live without me and now he has moved on so quickly. It is hurting me a lot. Was it ok for him to move on like that? Am I being selfish?